"Self-pretending" is not as useful as we think

"Then, figure out which of those behaviors attract women and find a way to perfect those behaviors."

MBlume's post already responded to this method: body language (all the different subtle aspects of it) is not consciously controllable in this way. Some aspects of it, to go with the current example of "alpha male," can be, such as not to slouch. The only way I know to get the whole package of body language is from certain emotional states that subconsciously produce them. Now there are ways to get there other than through false beliefs, but that is one way to practice them, and as my comment pointed out, while abstractly there may be dangers involved (as in reading fiction, or in acting), if there were significant dangers, one place to look would be to actors like Daniel Day-Lewis.

Also, I doubt that you can act like a real alpha male when alone in your room. I suspect you can just think you are acting like one because your not seeing the nonverbal communication from others telling you that you are not.

Maybe you know of the "sincere smile" and the "insincere smile". The sincere smile uses a different set of muscles, most famously the orbicularis oculi, which is somewhere between very hard and impossible to contract voluntarily. As far as I know, the only way to get a genuine smile using that muscle is to either be happy, or pretend to be happy so successfully that you become happy.

When you say that instead of pretending to be dominant you should replicate the behaviors of a dominant person, well, that makes sense, but I think you'd need to prove beforehand that these can be voluntarily replicated in a believable way, and that it wouldn't take more effort and self-control than it's worth.

People are pretty good at picking up microexpressions and other things on an unconscious level; a lot of people can tell the difference between a sincere and insincere smile without being able to verbalize what they're looking for. I wouldn't be surprised if women could tell the difference between someone who's confident and someone who's faking confidence.

Self fulfilling prophecies are only epistemically wrong when you fail to act upon them. Failing, maybe out of cynicism, sophistication or simply being too clever, rationalizing them away; the result will be the same.

There's a potential barrier there. You can tunnel through it, or not. Tunneling can sound magical and counterintuitive. It's not. There are definite reasons why it can work.

Sometimes, however, you don't know those reasons, but can observe it appears to work for other people anyway. Then you may want to find a way to bootstrap the process, like self pretending. Or trying to copy someone else

I can say these words but not the rule that generates them, or the rule behind the rule; one can only hope that by using the ideas, perhaps, similar machinery might be born inside you.

For instance, the party example. This might not apply to everyone but, I think the issue starts with even trying to find that optimal way to attract a partner. Do you expect to find a way to be attractive enough to score on your first try ? Perhaps, to really minimize the risk of being rejected ?

Different people have different tastes, and even a single person may react differently to the same stimulus, depending on the conditions in which they find themselves.

Some people don't have an issue with that. They are ready to try as many times and different people as it takes to find one receptive, moving on as soon as it appears as though it won't work with this person in particular.

Not only will they eventually find someone - and some will indeed have to search for longer - but will also act with more confidence, knowing they will succeed at some point.

I know that's how it works for me anyway. I can't take failure, nor rejection. So I try my very best to avoid it, and this involves trying to push the efforts I invest in a single encounter, to their limits, which isn't as efficient as trying as many different persons as is needed to succeed.

There are ways of reducing unnecessary emotions; the ways that work, however, don’t depend on pretending.

Not the way you meant, certainly, but pretending is still useful in other ways. A lot of desensitization techniques involve imagining the stressful situation. And some mental techniques which are supposedly helpful involve visualizing the actions that are going to be taken; this seems to be used in the context of athletic performance.

I've found that if I imagine doing something too clearly, my emotions react as though I've done it already. If it's virtuous-but-unpleasant, I usually end up not doing it for that reason.

Maybe if you get help pretending: http://yro.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=91462&cid=7876768

There are ways of reducing unnecessary emotions; the ways that work, however, don’t depend on pretending.

Not the way you meant, certainly, but pretending is still useful in other ways. A lot of desensitization techniques involve imagining the stressful situation. And some mental techniques which are supposedly helpful involve visualizing the actions that are going to be taken; this seems to be used in the context of athletic performance.

I've found that if I imagine doing something too clearly, my emotions react as though I've done it already. If it's virtuous-but-unpleasant, I usually end up not doing it for that reason.