kryptoklob.io/misc/The+(False)+Accusation

post by segfault (caleb-ditchfield) · 2024-10-23T05:38:10.278Z · LW · GW · 4 comments

This is a link post for https://klob.substack.com/p/kryptoklobiomiscthefalseaccusation

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My name is Caleb Ditchfield, and in undergrad - at The Georgia Institute of Technology I briefly dated a girl named Samantha, whom I met at DragonCon (it's like ComicCon, but in Atlanta, GA, and more of a party-con than ComicCon is).

Samantha had borderline personality disorder, I think. I don't remember if she told me this, or if this was my conclusion after the fact.

I broke up with Samantha because our relationship was *very* unhealthy. Samantha would threaten suicide - not explicitly, of course - but she would do the whole "I guess I'll just go lie down in the cold snow and fall asleep" kind of implicit, nearly explicit suicide threaten - when she didn't get her way.

It *wrecked* me.

So I broke up with her.

When I broke up with her, she said the following words to me - this isn't verbatim, but it's close.

"Remember that time in the tent at Alchemy [burn]? I actually *was* drunk then. So I could tell people you raped me."

[note: I was, I believe, a junior in college at this time]

I said something flippant, something like "I cannot fucking believe you. This conversation is over. Goodbye". And walked away.

She followed through with her promise.

---

Alchemy burn is a burning man regional event. It can be quite intense, especially for someone with a sheltered childhood like myself, and like Samantha. It was my second year going (I think). It would've been her first year going; I didn't think she was emotionally ready for the experience.

She asked me about it, and I was honest with her. I told her that I truly didn't think she was ready for it. Because there's drugs. A lot of them. And there's kink and bdsm stuff at burns too - a lot of that (if you know where to look, but sometimes even if you *don't* look for it).

And there's dangerous people at burns, too. Yes of course - Consent is the #1 value at a burn, and yes of course - there's artificial barriers for people actually going to a burn, but that only filters out the *dangerous* people that don't want to put effort into going, or who don't have as much free time.

So no, I didn't think she was ready for Alchemy.

I'm not sure if she thought I was intending on cheating on her - I wasn't, and I wouldn't have, and I have literally *never* cheated on a partner.

So I was quite surprised when she *did* show up at the burn!

And happy - I mean, she was my girlfriend after all.

That night (I think it was that night) we had sex in our tent.

I explicitly ask her "hey, have you had anything to drink"?

She says no.

---

I lost more than half of my friends within a few months, as the word spread.

I was advised by my (now former best friend) to sue her for libel; I didn't.

I still think that was the correct choice (not suing her).

I'm beginning to wonder if my now former best friend - Justin Grey Welborn - didn't believe me either.

If he thought he was covering for me?

If with a wink and a *smile*, he was actually going all "of COURSE you didn't do that, Caleb".

I'm not sure. It doesn't really matter. Dude's likely a psychopath, and it wrecked me to figure that out.

But that's another story.

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