Schelling Day: A Rationalist Holiday

I was hoping it would say: "Schelling Day is celebrated every year, on the obvious date." and leave it at that.

I attended this event and would like to publish a review.

It was probably the best thing our meetup has ever done. I kept thinking, "I don't want to wait a year for this to happen again." I am so glad ModusPonies made it happen.

These are people that I hang out with several times a month but know relatively little about. To hear other sides of them - histories that shaped them, fears, goals - made them feel much more like real people. It makes me want to know more. I'm excited to see them again.

There were a few new or nearly-new attenders - I imagine it was a bit strange for them, but they seemed to enjoy it. I expect those of us who knew each other better got more out of it.

I think it took about 90 minutes plus potluck, which felt like a good amount of time. Having 5-minute breaks was good to allow people to check on food in the oven, go to the bathroom, or just break the intensity.

Some things I might change: after people speak, especially on emotional topics, it feels weird not to have some way to acknowledge that. I wanted a way to say "thank you" or "I hear you" or "I honor your experience." In the Quaker environment that I'm used to, this would be done through a bit of silence after each person speaks. At the end of something like this, Quakers would get up and stand for a minute holding hands in a circle (which would probably feel icky to some LW people.) I'm not sure how best to end the whole thing, but I do think having a silent pause after each speaker would improve it.

I also think it might be useful to specify what happens with the information that is shared. Is confidentiality required? Are there things that people are willing to speak about during the ritual itself, but don't really want to discuss afterwards at dinner?

It's awkward and disruptive when people come in late to things like this. Maybe we needed a sign on the door saying, "If you arrive late, please wait until a pause between speakers before coming in and finding a seat."

The suggested topics were Joys, Confessions, Struggles, Hopes, and Other. A lot of people shared History as well, so I think next time we could add that. Also, Confessions/Struggles seemed to be mostly the same thing.

The amount of ritual-ness felt just about right. The talking was the important part, and the food was kind of extra - afterwards, people mostly just ate the chocolate and raspberries, so maybe we just need to pick foods that go together better. Having a potluck afterwards was definitely good, as it gave people a reason to stay and talk.

I think you have a good pattern going here when you classify things as "things you'd say to a..." Maybe, outside of the ritual itself, people could volunteer to be one of those positions for others without those services. Like, the Moombah would be the guy that listens to the things you'd say to a priest, without being a priest. He would listen under an oath of secrecy, to anyone who wanted to confess something. The High Glombix would listen to all the things you'd say to a therapist, without being a therapist, again under secrecy. The Vemerev would listen to all the things you're afraid to tell your friends about yourself, without judging you. It would be an accepted support group without relying on the traditional avenues, and it would also serve the purpose of getting you used to evaluating yourself and to verbally admitting your problems.

There's a bit of a conflict between what you want to talk about vs. what snacks you want to eat.

This seems fun but I'd worry about the food choice...I'm not sure how many others think so but I feel like chocolate is just much more delicious to me than the other options so there might be more struggle confessions than anything else if this is not dealt with somehow...

Or maybe that is intentional since that kind of thing is so much more uncomfortable to say? That makes sense...

So, Schelling Day is the day before Tax Day (in the U.S.)?

Playing goofy theater games can also be a good way to bond with people.

Sounds like a fun ritual. Makes me wish I were in Boston so I could attend.

Does the Boston group ever meet on a day other than Sunday?

I'll actually be in striking distance of Boston for Schelling Day...but too busy to do anything about it.

Related: I make a point of observing Pi Day and Tau Day each year, usually by eating pie. Tech and gaming geeks already converge on these; they seem like good candidates for rationalist holidays as well.

Meh. What's the point? (the 14th, I guess)