Coupling for Decouplers — Intro

post by Jacob Falkovich (Jacobian) · 2025-04-07T15:12:26.892Z · LW · GW · 0 comments

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Rationalist don't talk about dating much. At least — not on LessWrong. 

This is surprising! Dating touches on every theme of interest to rationalists: psychology, game theory, epistemology, signaling, self-transformation, agency, even AI — not to mention most people's personal interest in the matter.

I started writing about dating a decade ago on Putanumonit, my old rationalist blog. My readers were very excited: they shared my posts, shared their feedback, and shared their own personal stories and burning questions. The more I wrote the more I learned from my readers, and the more ideas I had to write about. Eventually I had enough material for a book. I wrote a proposal, scrapped it, and launched Second Person instead: a weekly Substack of dating philosophy, my own romantic Sequences.

"Coupling for Decouplers"  is a sequence comprising posts from the last several months, some of them paywalled over on Substack but unlocked here for your enjoyment. They all touch on the theme of epistemology and agency, and why the classic LessWrong approach to both is different from the approach called for in dating. 

I look forward to your feedback, and if you like it: see you all over on Second Person.


Next: Love is Love, Science is Fake [LW · GW]

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