Comment by bleen2000 on Group rationality diary, 10/15/12 · 2012-10-17T14:29:09.847Z · LW · GW

Found out my sister got an interview for a highly paid and prestigious job, and was reminded how low paid and not prestigious my job was. Since status is relative, my sister's success threatened my feeling of self-worth. I was tempted to rationalize my sister's success away, and think of some sort of excuse as to why I have achieved less than her. But then I thought of a better strategy.

Instead of seeing my sister as a status competitor, I could affiliate with her. I can truthfully say that I come from a family of high-achievers, even if I'm not a high achiever myself. When I affiliate with her, her success becomes my success and I feel more confident. And it prevents the animosity that would have developed if I'd seen my sister as a status competitor.

Comment by bleen2000 on Open Thread, October 16-31, 2012 · 2012-10-17T14:03:45.233Z · LW · GW

I like my husband to be slightly dominant (his Captain Picard to my "number one"

Are you an Athol Kay fan?

Few things make a man more unattractive than being needy, either financially or emotionally.

Funny how these things can be interpreted. A rich submissive man could see giving a woman money as a submissive act ("she control's my finances!"), while a dominant man could see it as a dominant act ("I take care of her!")