Comment by jackjack on Appendix: How to run a successful Hamming circle · 2022-09-02T08:36:00.118Z · LW · GW

This is a great write-up!

re: "As best you can, try not to worry about the other participants' experience, when it is your turn to be the focus of the circle...." 
I think it's pretty important to hit this point strongly in the initial context setting part, ala "Then (even if everyone present has already been in a Hamming circle before!) it helps to have someone explicitly set context, and to remind the group".

Even though you had the paragraph referenced above and the paragraph with "The idea is that, for the duration of the circle, instead of having access to just one brain's power...." I want to hit even harder that everyone in the hamming circle, when it's not their turn to be in the focus, are genuinely there to be of service to the primary individual. There's an important leaving of ego behind, an important checking at the door any sort of politeness, a handshake that says, "No really. We want to hear what you have to say, fully truthfully vulnerably. We want to give you our full undivided attention here. We're going to help you in whatever way you want to utilize the help we have on offer." This both serves to encourage the one in focus to relax / open up / actually do the thing, and it encourages the ones in the support role to focus on why they're there vs eg "doing it right" or "not saying the wrong thing". 

While people show up with good intention, they're not always able to follow the format of Hamming Circles. Sometimes the one in the center isn't willing to interrupt. Sometimes the ones supporting don't notice that they're not synced with the main individual. As the facilitator, I make sure to be tracking this. An example of that in practice: if it's Bob's time in the center and Alice has been talking for 3 minutes straight, I might interject with, "Hey, sorry to interrupt, but I want to double-check: Bob, is this the thread you want to be on?" Clumsily done, it can make things worse than better, but I do prefer installing these kinds of safety rails as the facilitator.

Also while "Prerequisite: Hamming questions" is at the top here, I want to emphasize explicitly that doing the Hamming questions or something like it is essential to successfully doing a hamming circle.