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Comment by SpasB on On being in a bad place and too stubborn to leave. · 2023-08-07T09:38:45.254Z · LW · GW

I've always looked at non-clinical depression as just negative emotion signaling something is wrong (and usually try to not call it depression), say the exact opposite of the flow state you go into when you are doing something really engaging, the feeling that something is right.

I find a good formula is "Struggle to find something worth doing -> take on a lot of projects and challenges I feel are just about within my reach -> just about manage to reach the targets I've set myself -> brief period of downtime to recover/reset" and then repeat. Now does this align with long-term goals? Kind of. As any other human, my goals are fluid and have changing priority levels, but the general target for me to feel content is by improving in areas I find meaningful. 

Short example of a time I had an existential crisis - I had a degree in maths, stats and finance, and was working a finance job whilst studying for chartership. I had already had some solid career progression but the career I was going for seemed incredibly empty, with no tangible impact on the world. Long story short, I ended up going for a Physics degree, postulating that even if it did not bring a new career of research and ambitious scientific contribution (original target), it would at least serve to make me a little bit cleverer and help understand the fabric of this peculiar universe a little bit better (knowledge is an end in itself type of thing). Currently going into my final year of that Physics degree and so far it's gone great, with the fun addition that working in Finance a few moths of the year and studying the rest of the time has actually made me job hop a lot, which believe it or not has come with significant career progression itself!

I still reassess goals, targets, and have difficulties just like anyone else, but find myself content with my efforts as I finish various research projects. The problem is, someone else's "success story" (because they're always full of nuance and not as much of a success as the sound, even the one above) may sound good, but will never really serve you until you are at least on the path of figuring out your own story. Honestly, life is kind of like a restaurant with a menu that is completely limitless, and each starter you choose unlocks and endless possibility of main courses - you really need to visit it a dozen times before finding something that suits your palette.