Comment by zendude on Why are people so bad at dating? · 2019-11-18T20:35:07.695Z · LW · GW

I disagree. Intuitively, I'd imagine the amount of effort required to find an adequate one from the pool would correlate with the subject's base looks level. (FYI: I loosely define adequate here as a picture that would substantially increase your odds vs the average whatever that is. "Best" doesn't mean anything here to me. I could luck out with an aesthetically pleasing work of art, but if women swipe left, then tough break). I could take thousands of pictures along multiple angles and vantage points but if I'm either ugly or just not photogenic, then tough break..

Indeed, I would pose the opposite question: Why would someone like XoDarap just assume people are oblivious to the power of a good picture when a more charitable interpretation would take into account factors like looks, the pareto principle, photography skills, ethnicity, and general sense of anxiety involved in the whole process of having your picture taken

Imagine being average in looks and new to a city like NYC and having to walk around all day taking selfies in choice locations or going through the wierdness of enlisting a friend just to get ONE good picture. Furthermore, imagine having as your competition the top ~10% of men (lookswise) who as you know receive 90% of the swipe, and that this 10% is likely comprised largely of men who are ethnically white AND have well taken pictures....

To cite one example: Myself. I paid about almost $800 in multiple photography sessions (in studio and outside). I've used that photo-feeler app. I even tried to learn photgraphy on my own. And with all that effort, my results were marginal at best (instead of 500 swipes to get a result... maybe ~450?). The crazy thing about this is that I'm not even ugly.

So the answer is obvious... and this actually makes XoDarap's question almost borderline offensive

Now this doesn't mean that unless one isn't a Stud, that you might as well give up on dating. Rather it requires one to think creatively with a bit of daring to have any success. I had to give up on swiping and turn to a channel nobody would expect for my luck to improve