How to make to-do lists (and to get things done)?

People mention Beeminder as if it is some golden standard of procrastination therapy. I'd like to push back on that a little. Beeminder is built on the assumption that the main thing that stops you from being productive is a lack of reminders. If that is true, then Beeminder is indeed the right tool for you. But if that it false, then Beeminder is a wrong tool for you, because it is trying to solve a problem that you do not have.

Possible problems other than lack of reminders:

• maybe you are so scared of failure that it makes you freeze;
• or you are unconsciously scared of success, because on some level you are aware that it will unset the social balance you currently have (e.g. some people like you because they feel that they are smarter that you; if you succeed, they may start feeling stupid compared to you, and they may start to hate you... which is what you are unconsciously trying to avoid all the time);
• another reason to be afraid of success is that maybe then people will start expecting more from you, and you are afraid you will not be able to do that, but you will also no longer have the excuse that you are unable to do it;
• or maybe it's just wrong conditioning, like every time you think about the work you need to do, you keep telling yourself "I am stupid, I am so stupid" (or "lazy", etc.), and thus your brain makes you forget about it, to protect you from bad feelings;
• or maybe you actually don't want to do the thing - you only do it because of external pressure, and you are afraid to admit it because that would get you in conflict with the source of the external pressure, which you want to avoid;
• maybe the task doesn't even make sense (or maybe it did in the past, but now the situation has changed or you got better information), but you can't give up, because you do not have an alternative plan;

...probably many more reasons.

Or maybe it is all biology, like ADHD wired your brain the wrong way, or the lack of potassium prevents your neurons from functioning properly.

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What helps me, is some kind of social support. Either doing things together with someone (e.g. pair programming), or just having someone supportive stand next to me while I work, or willing to discuss my work plans with me.

But I know people who find this annoying, and who say that what helps them is some kind of pressure, like a deadline, or an "accountability buddy" who would express disapproval when the work is not done. (I find this annoying and unhelpful.)

Making notes is generally helpful, because sometimes the problem is forgetting or not paying attention. But there are also situations when I am perfectly aware of what needs to be done, or I am looking directly at the reminder, and I just... don't do it anyway.

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Reading the article again, I think you might be similar to me in the sense that pressure only creates more aversion. I think it might be useful to re-frame the "to do" lists as a list of "inspirations what could be done". That is, don't treat putting something on the list as creating an obligation, but rather as a suggestion of one of many possible things that you could do if you found yourself in the right mood. That means, there is no "to-do list for today", but rather an eternally updating database of good ideas that could be done.

But if your problem is that you urgently need to do some of that and yet somehow you can't, that is not a problem of list-keeping. The to-do list may even do harm, in the sense that putting this super-urgent thing in a list of other less-urgent things allows you to stop focusing on that one thing, and instead just abstractly despair about the list as a whole. You can even pick the least important thing on the list, do it, and call it a day.

(Here again, people are different. Some people say that accomplishing an easy task first creates a "success spiral", when they gradually feel encouraged taking on more and more difficult tasks. For me it is often the other way round; after accomplishing a relatively simple task or two, I conclude that this is enough and I deserve a break.)

If I desperately needed to do one thing, I would probably ask a competent friend to hold my hand and help me overcome the aversion until the task is completed. That might require a lot of their time, and possibly a lot of trust on my side.

FWIW, some tips on how to improve your resolve here: Notes on Resolve [LW · GW]

Could you perhaps share your to-do lists with other people who have a stake in your productivity? Would that give you more motivation to follow through with the items on the list?