How To Raise Others’ Aspirations in 17 Easy Steps

One time an EA just asked me "have you considered becoming a billionaire?", which I found very potent.

Note that if someone is low on akrasia or depressed, raising their aspirations can be net-negative.

For instance, the EA community seems to have a recurring problem of some people burning out after learning about it. That said, I don't know if there are any surveys on this problem; I'm mostly basing this impression on there being several high-karma EA forum posts on this topic, e.g. this [EA · GW] or this [EA · GW].

I'm a certified life coach, and several of these are questions found in life coaching.
 

E.g.:

Is there something you could do about that problem in the next five minutes [? · GW]?

Feeling stuck sucks. Have you spent a five minute timer [? · GW] generating options?

What's the twenty minute / minimum viable product version of this overwhelming-feeling thing?

These are all part of a broader technique of breaking down a problem.  (I can probably find a name for it in my book.) E.g.: Someone comes in saying they're really bad at X, and you ask them to actually rate their skills and then what they could do to become 5% better. 

You want to do that but don't think you will? Do you want to make a concrete plan now?

Do you want to just set an alarm on your phone now as a reminder? (from Damon Sasi)

Do you sort of already know what you're going to do / have your mind made up about this?

 

These are all part of the "commitment" phase of a coaching session, which basically looks like walking someone through SMART goals.

Do you know anyone else who might have struggled with or succeeded at that? Have you talked to them about it? (from Damon Sasi)

Who do you know who you could ask for help from?

I can't say these are instances of a named technique, but they are things you'd commonly find a coach asking. Helping someone look inside themselves for resources they already have is a pretty significant component of coaching.

There's a major technique in coaching not represented here called championing. Champion is giving someone positive encouragement by reinforcing some underlying quality. E.g.: "You've shown a lot of determination to get this far, and I know you'll be able to use it to succeed at X."

Several of these questions do differ from life coaching in a big way: they suggest a course of action. We call this "advice-giving" as telling someone what to do serves the advice-giver's agenda more than the receiver's, or at least serves what the advice-giver thinks the receiver's agenda should be. The best piece of (irony forthcoming) advice I've received about coaching is to "coach the person, not the problem." Much more effective than to help someone with the task at hand is to help them cultivate the underlying skill. Instead of suggesting courses of action, you instead focus on their ability to come up with and evaluate options.

Recommended reading:  Co-active Coaching, https://www.amazon.com/Co-Active-Coaching-Changing-Business-Transforming/dp/1857885678

Make the person also feel like how you feel when you lose a video game. You don't feel sad and you try to get back immediately because you KNOW where you messed up. So in tandem with "Being stuck sucks,..." phrase, you could say. Hey, you messed up first time because of a wrong approach, let's think of another one!

Also, this is my first time commenting here. :D

These statements might spur some action in the moment but are unlikely to have lasting effects. People have a certain level of trait conscientiousness and certain behaviour/thinking patterns. I think it'll take more to actually meaningfully push someone to aim higher and act on those higher aims.

One could probably use those consistently on a friend over time and actually see a change (provided the friend actually wants to change/is receptive).

I like this in that there are some friendly responses to folks’ self-doubts, tendencies towards complaining, laziness, and feigned helplessness. I am going to record these and play them back to myself as needed. Would that be everyday?