Counterargument 1: “Only a Sith deals in absolutes!”

Counterargument 2: I can feel neutral towards the guy

Uh, division and multiplication, right?

I can care about your well-being and happiness and not get you that specific car. I could buy a used car, so you wouldn’t freak out if it got damaged or [3 different examples based on what the (father?) thinks is best].

I do care about starving children, but my family and I are just barely scraping by and I value feeding them first.

One way to frame it is to separate options into two types: values and actions

With that frame, false dilemmas can be categorized into 4 varieties:

1. Only these values are compatible with an agent

2. Only these actions are compatible with a system/environment

3. Only these actions are compatible with this value

4. Only these values are compatible with this action

Ouch. Rephrasing: “Only working out every day is compatible with desiring health”. There’s also couch-to-5k, high intensity training 1-3 days/week, playing sports together that could all improve health and be better long-term or transitioning-wise or whatever you also value.

I could use it to make a beat, play miniature football, as a flagpole in a diorama, as a gift, or to poke holes in a page, or …

Rephrasing: “Only never hurting someone’s feelings is compatible with caring about them”. I care about Alice very much, I just really suck at showing it. (I think it’s interesting that this covers failed goals/good intentions. This makes sense since agents, like us, aren’t logically omniscient)

I can care about both to different degrees.

1. What are the possible values and actions?

2. What’s arbitrarily constrained?

3. Yoda Timers: [LW · GW] brainstorm more options

"Narrow it down to the front of one building on the main street of Bozeman. The Opera House. Start with the upper left-hand brick.” [This is stolen from Zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance]. Narrowing down the topic is useful for writer’s block.

I could talk about all natural numbers n &m; however, it may be easier to divide this into 4 cases: n = 0 & m = 0, n >0 & m = 0, n = 0 & m > 0, and n > 0 & m >0. This is useful because it’s trivial to prove each case, and it’s hard (for me!) to prove this in a way that doesn’t rely on cases.

Circle which ones you can do something about, and constrain your thoughts/actions to only those problems. Constraining in this way helps combat feeling overwhelmed/helpless.

I could say anything like “Place A and B are very close and I like both, which one is good for you?”, and that normally speeds up the process. Same applies for picking a time and place for hanging out. “How about this coffeehouse at this time? Is that good?”

There are several constraints that may serve you well. One is “Pick what is popular in the restaurant”, another is “pick the first thing that sounds good” (Got this from someone here in LW).

By identifying as X, we must act like someone who is X. Whether that’s mimicking how we’ve seen another X act, or how our model of being X.

I’ve personally identified as a “Good Student”. What I mean is that as long as I really put in the time to study, then I have done my duty. This has constrained possible actions such as asking what specifically confused me and googling other explanations.

Tons! The search space of a problem is sometimes very big. Having an identity/ being a role always is usually bad because it constrains you to a specific chunk of search space always. But temporarily playing as different roles helps search through different chunks more efficiently.

For example, playing as the devil’s advocate with yourself can help search for the very best reasons why your idea is good, and find the very best reasons why it’s bad. When a friend tells me a huge problem they’re dealing with, it’s time to switch to “Very concerned friend who listens”. When I meet someone very shy, it’s time to switch to “Talkative friend who asks easy questions”.

Sometimes when something frustrating happens, I feel like I’m only constrained to the action “Eat something sweet and distract yourself”. Realizing that, I have now produced several alternatives: take a walk, take care of any present needs (hunger, sleep, etc), play piano, call a loved one, etc. I would say this is category 2, “Only these actions are compatible in this specific environment”

Being in a meditative state helps me love those who are late (it’s true because it rhymes). I am consistently way more patient in a meditative state and it’s my go to move when someone is late.