Got really dumb towards the end but made it in time.
Lie and tell my captors the launch codes can only be input by me.
Just give my captors the launch codes, hope the room can whitstand a nuclear blast.
Stream myself for long enough that it is obvious I don't require sustenance, negotiate my rescue with any governments interested in studying me.
Outlast the room.
Stage an elaborate fake suicide in front of the cameras, the guards will be so enchanted by my performance they'll switch to my side and let me escape.
Stage an elaborate fake suicide in front of the cameras, when the guards come check on me, inform them I have come back from the dead as the second coming of Christ.
Stage an elaborate fake suicide in front of the cameras, when the guards come check on me, kill myself for real, escaping both the room and reality.
Blink, causing SCP-173 to snap my neck.
Pretend to kill SCP-173 then fall asleep but actually keep watch on SCP-173, when the guards come check out if SCP-173 is dead, throw sand in their eyes and hope 173 goes for them first.
Convince the guards that as an angel who needs no sustenance, I will outlive them all, and if they don't cooperate right now, I'll make sure they don't go to heaven.
Stream myself for long enough to prove my phone can somehow hold a charge for more than a few hours, wait for the Samsung strike teams.
Write a book about why I should be let out, convincing my captors.
Spend my days punching a single point on the wall, until I suffer brain death through sheer lack of stimulus.
Write a short program to call for every single delivery service in existence to deliver me something simultaneously, the sheer mass of delivery men fooling my captors into thinking an army has come for me.
Troll everyone at MIRI constantly so as to increase the chances of paperclip maximizers to disassemble the room.
Troll high ranking military men, so as to trigger a Strangelove scenario (I.E. they unilaterally initiate nuclear Armageddon, hopefully disassembling the room).
Try to foster unsanitary practices all around the globe through social media, and thus trigger a pandemic that hopefully makes whatever organization is keeping me locked to collapse.
Download photo manipulation apps, take a picture of the room through the security camera's perspective, Photoshop in some gods, put the phone screen in front of the camera, convince the guards to let me out.
Just code the damn friendly AI myself.
Just code the damn unfriendly AI myself.
Use the photo manipulation software to make a picture of myself with a nuclear device, upload the Facebook with the caption "Yanks won't know what hit 'em" in russian, with the metadata intact.
Unlock the window, walk out.
Unlock the window, smash thru anyways.
Unlock the window, stay inside. I'm not locked anymore, and therefore free.
Hire PMC to get me out.
Hire two PMCs to get me out and kill the other, so as to pay neither.
Hire all PMCs to get me out, rid the world of private military companies altogether.
Run for election, win, declare my captivity illegal.
Use the presumably gigantic 10 year phone battery as a battering ram.
Instantly explode into a gigantic cloud of ATP particles, smashing the room open.
look for suitable targets online, hypnotize them into believing they're me, use "memory recovery" techniques to implant my memories into theirs.
Cross my fingers and hope future humanity can revive me after the room is long gone.
Ask politely to leave.
Ask impolitely to leave.
Remove my stomach and use it's acids to melt through the door hinges, hope future medicine can give me a new one before my 10 years are up.
Campaign heavily for anti-environmental policy, triggering acid rains that hopefully melt the roof of my room.
REALLY wake up.
Create a simulation in which I exist and am free.
Create a simulation in which I exist and am more trapped, making me feel more free by comparison.
Threaten to kill myself if I'm not freed, continuing on in the universes in which the threat was successful.
Claim to have evidence that could prove Epstein didn't kill himself, hopefully elude the assassins sent to silence me.
Threaten to fix known cognitohazards if I'm not freed.
Just unleash the cognitohazards, escape in the confusion.
Just unleash the cognitohazards, get rewarded with revival by the resulting AI.
Convince religious zealots to 9/11 the room.
Convince conservative zealots to killdozer the room.
Download a bunch of child porn, hopefully leading the FBI to my location.
Yell really loudly until I'm killed.