How do you whittle path-dependent (probabilistic) questions? 2020-05-02T08:53:41.566Z · score: 5 (2 votes)
Mary Chernyshenko's Shortform 2020-01-18T14:57:39.038Z · score: 3 (1 votes)
[Event] Meeting in Myrhorod, November 16 2019-10-06T08:45:59.527Z · score: 3 (1 votes)
Lyubarsky intro 2019-03-09T11:13:31.075Z · score: 6 (4 votes)
Have a camel! 2019-02-28T19:25:05.476Z · score: 12 (7 votes)
Describing things: parsimony, fruitfulness, and adaptability 2019-02-05T20:59:01.345Z · score: 1 (1 votes)
What observations do you as a customer would expect to matter, if your experience was 1000 times "stronger"? 2019-01-01T22:03:39.480Z · score: 4 (2 votes)


Comment by mary-chernyshenko on Atemporal Ethical Obligations · 2020-06-28T10:58:54.518Z · score: 1 (1 votes) · LW · GW

I wish I could agree, but... what counts more than what?

If intergenerational responsibility costs a lot, you should trade it against other expenses just as milk or space rockets. And the worst thing is that it almost never costs "you" anything separately from everybody else, and when people take that responsibility... it tends not to be universally viewed later as an example of moral action.

I have always wondered at how revolutions are justified afterwards on the grounds of economics but not on the grounds of shared responsibility. (Apologies if this offends anyone, I was looking for something sufficiently big. I don't mean that justifying revolutions this way works, just that people try to do it.) Makes one wonder if that people of tomorrow thing is ever taken consistently...

Comment by mary-chernyshenko on Atemporal Ethical Obligations · 2020-06-27T07:11:07.507Z · score: 7 (3 votes) · LW · GW

It's not clear to me why I should be building for the people of tomorrow when the people of today go to war and die, literally, instead of building for themselves. I try to direct my spare and almost-spare money to causes I consider valuable; that some of them might be shown to have been harmful, hopeless or unnecessary, is a price of making any commitment at all. You can't have moral actions without commitment.

That I miss some new important things, that's a price of not following fashion. These two prices are in an equilibrium.

As to considering people good or bad, why are we doing this again?

Comment by mary-chernyshenko on Our Need for Need · 2020-05-30T08:15:02.978Z · score: 2 (2 votes) · LW · GW

Seems like an obvious way out is to invent more art? Art requires admirers, in the old meaning of the word, contemplators. But the world as a whole won't go that way.

Comment by mary-chernyshenko on What aspects of the world emotionally bothers you on an immediate personal level on a daily basis? · 2020-05-28T14:09:51.130Z · score: 2 (2 votes) · LW · GW

War... used to, but now that we have less of it in the news, it's not on daily basis anymore. They just batch the statistics for larger chunks of time.

These months it's rather the expected shifts in our education system which is planned to move online to some extent. Nobody knows what exactly it means, everybody expects everybody "to defect". E. g., low quality textbooks and especially the online framework (including lack of Internet connection in some places); overall lack of motivation; even lower standards of (self) grading... it gets to me because my kid will be in his third year, I will have to somehow teach him despite everything and work, too. The problem is not that this is a temporary solution to the corona-crisis, the problem is that it's going to stay afterwards.

I now think about it all like a Gift from the Gods. A charmed chalice, a ring of Power, you name it: something not "fatal" itself, but inexorably and ungovernably causing ripples in the world. Something everybody wants to use himself, and knows everybody does. Something that cannot be mislaid, in our legendary times.

Comment by mary-chernyshenko on Mary Chernyshenko's Shortform · 2020-05-28T05:58:52.442Z · score: 1 (1 votes) · LW · GW

Not any particular book, but rather some frequent conditions of game theory problems I have seen here and elsewhere (my fb friend keeps posting such pieces). "The players care only about winning" etc. Well, some people actually do.

Comment by mary-chernyshenko on In Search of Slack · 2020-05-27T21:22:36.255Z · score: 3 (2 votes) · LW · GW

(paternal mtDNA holds out hope: )

Comment by mary-chernyshenko on Mary Chernyshenko's Shortform · 2020-05-26T19:26:40.246Z · score: 5 (3 votes) · LW · GW

Some other people who play to win

It's a crowd I'd come into contact with as a manager of an online bookshop (and most of the reason I quitted). Usually, I can pretend they don't exist, but... we all know how it goes... and now that they don't make my blood boil every weekend, I can afford to speak about them.

"Some other people" will play to win - say, a facebook lottery with a book for a prize, and they will mean it. If they don't win, they will say the lottery was rigged. Public righteous indignation on every player's behalf is a weapon (and for the manager, a potent vaccine against righteously indignant polemics of many other kinds). Private appeals to the manager's pity; commenting the rules' exploitable/exploited loopholes - after the winner is announced; repeating actions which have already been answered elsewhere in the thread. I don't include 'filing a complaint' here, because it's frankly too straightforward for most of them, most of the time; the bookshop would likely send them a book with an eloquent blessing/apology, just to get them to shut up and earn good PR points for "owning up to mistakes". But in practice, it still matters too much to be the actual winner, and the brain of the trophy-gatherer works like other brains don't. At least not for a while.

I'm not unusually out-of-touch with customers; I was recommended for the job after two years in an offline shop. And this was... entirely different. I'd never encountered people with whole profiles dedicated to reposting online lotteries - living people I had to call on the phone. It is another world.

When I read about (simple) "pure" game theoretical problems, in which the players "care only about winning", I cannot reconcile the image of Worthy Rivals the author has in mind with the actual Really-Want-This-Whatever Whiners who seek out such contests. Get it, not the passively allowing themselves to be drawn into a strategic game kind of players, but the self-sorting to exploit as many offers as possible kind. They will be few, yes. Nobody of them might force their way through every single time.

But they will define the meaning of the rules you think you write.

Comment by mary-chernyshenko on Open & Welcome Thread—May 2020 · 2020-05-17T08:40:14.030Z · score: 1 (1 votes) · LW · GW

I recently gave up on trying to keep track of where things are in the kitchen, since my husband also cooks and puts everything where he likes, too. So I just taped the lists to the inside of the cabinets' doors. Surprisingly efficient, except for the time when we literally lost a pan in the next drawer. So after this worked, we now have a reminder on how to wash some things in the washing machine taped above the machine. And a reminder of our sizes taped in the wardrobe. I am thinking about labeling shelves in the kid's wardrobe, but this might be not enforceable anyway.

Comment by mary-chernyshenko on Why do you (not) use a pseudonym on LessWrong? · 2020-05-08T07:30:13.123Z · score: 3 (2 votes) · LW · GW

I know a person who uses a self-taken name in real life. (Her given name is Anastasia, but she goes by Alice.) It doesn't have the advantages of online pseudos hiding someone's trail from unfavorable scrutiny, but it's important enough for her that she used to sign official papers with it and now has changed her documents accordingly. In her case, it's a matter of being her own self-invented person... and back when I used pseudo names online, it used to have the same aftertaste.

Comment by mary-chernyshenko on Coping and Cultures · 2020-05-07T21:08:53.194Z · score: 1 (1 votes) · LW · GW

Yes. How do you identify the culturally-induced or taught CM in people who have started working? (In contrast to personal CM erected through self-teaching which was gained simultaneously [with the CM obtained by peer cross-pollination and between-generation communication].)

Comment by mary-chernyshenko on Coping and Cultures · 2020-05-07T08:39:25.669Z · score: 2 (2 votes) · LW · GW

And you should have mentioned talking in your sleep. My bookshop manager used to discuss complex orders with many items required by different parties, according to her husband.

Also, it is probably better to distinguish the "outer" adaptations like the cultivated image of the profession and the "personal" ones which include coping mechanisms. Our entomology instruction didn't include worms in the eyes (not so graphically, anyway), we rather had to adapt to the sheer diversity of the taxa.

Comment by mary-chernyshenko on Coping and Cultures · 2020-05-07T08:19:16.655Z · score: 5 (4 votes) · LW · GW

Don't just look in the exciting directions :) There are adaptations to maintaining a constant level of attention.

Fledgling botanists (or people with natural predilections) are pretty mellow about walking distances and watching the roadsides again all night long on replay. It's not your feet that get tired first, it's your brain.

But fully grown botanists have the even pace through the habitat at maximum useful speed and the ability to observe all they need to, without fluctuations in attention. I knew a guy who seemed possessed, running through the wood throwing Latin left and right (we had to write it down after him).

Comment by mary-chernyshenko on Stop saying wrong things · 2020-05-03T18:20:40.795Z · score: 2 (2 votes) · LW · GW

Also, I am trying to not say wrong things, to track things I say for excitement or as a knee-jerk reaction, and to "hmm" in response to such things being said (by adults)... I don't see the grand mileage come out of it. For example, my kid just gets confused when he asks if I stay to live with his family and I say he's going to have a wife who has to have a say in such things. I also see some mileage getting eaten.

Suppose your friends are interesting people with strong opinions - truly good people saying things despite the threat of being fired or conceivably having a court case fabricated against them; such threats are frequent, and sometimes not empty, as was the case with one mathematician I know. (She was sued but not fired.) Some, in the face of even worse threats that... almost never get fulfilled, but are still very unpleasant. Your friends speak the truth loudly and untiringly, and at some point they lose patience with people who question it, and after a while start implying that questioning it must be motivated by more than curiosity.

You are the local ruminant who gets to hear stuff and chews at it. And then there comes the moment when nobody wants the ruminant, they were just being polite about it but it's really time to move on..?

I walk a fine line, being the ruminant; I still can give people gifts and listen to them and frame exciting things as questions, but I know I will pay for it. I just don't know, what.

Comment by mary-chernyshenko on Are there technical/object-level fields that make sense to recruit to LessWrong? · 2020-05-03T06:53:43.056Z · score: 1 (1 votes) · LW · GW

We used to have posts like , so quite a few people would read it.

Comment by mary-chernyshenko on Stop saying wrong things · 2020-05-02T14:00:48.179Z · score: 3 (3 votes) · LW · GW

I have not stopped saying wrong things, but I have found that turning noble tasks into people-related problems sometimes goes some of the way, motivation-wise. And so does knowing whether you can quietly work on your own / need someone else to need your work / just don't care about something.

Like, I wanted to study German, once. I had begun and then dropped it. Now I study it again, because my kid is going to be learning it later in school and we decided (I decided) to start together. Now I don't have to think that I want to know the language, I only have to think that we need to overcome some verbs by the end of the week. I also get to grouse about how he doesn't get such simple things.

But I can't work on my own, I already know it from life.

Comment by mary-chernyshenko on The Embarrassing Problem of Premature Exploitation · 2020-05-01T07:54:14.619Z · score: 2 (2 votes) · LW · GW

It's an old haunting dream of the field biologist; if only his surveys were just a horizon wider... :) Although, the more literal the dilemma is, the easier it is to come to terms with the end result. And when your exploitation looks like other people's exploration OR you can hang one on the other, it helps, too.

For example, browsing new books your shop has just received, it's exploration of books and exploitation of time (and they pay you for it. That's just weird.) Riding your bike at six in the morning to dig up the potatoes (because it's too hot after ten) is a win-win, since it gets you on the bike on a wonderful morning and the potatoes in the cellar. Imagining yourself to be calling someone back in the 1800-s when you have your parents on the phone makes you more willing to explore their life, not just exploit your hardwon knowledge of the routine. (I actually told Mom it's like calling someone back in the 1800-s after she said her usual "everything is as it always has been". There was a pause, and then she said "Yes!")

Comment by mary-chernyshenko on It's Not About The Nail · 2020-04-27T21:20:49.989Z · score: 3 (2 votes) · LW · GW

There are problems which are never meant to be solved. Like living with a mad dependent relative or something like that, which makes "me" want to take out a metaphysical knife and wound the listener's very soul for not having been there.

(I personally am very lucky in life.) I kinda have a special mind unit to slash at inside my own head. Whining at my husband does happen, but he has this great "yeah, and here we are, gosling" hug thing which makes most everything bearable.

Comment by mary-chernyshenko on Go F*** Someone · 2020-01-19T12:57:12.859Z · score: 3 (2 votes) · LW · GW

Also, when a person who has been building his or her career becomes "staying at home", the person doesn't just lose standing among peers and colleagues. He or she loses peers and colleagues, at all. It is one thing to be known as "someone who is no longer staying at work until nine", but it's quite a different thing to just not be known anymore. It makes you... lonely.

Comment by mary-chernyshenko on Mary Chernyshenko's Shortform · 2020-01-18T14:57:39.249Z · score: 4 (3 votes) · LW · GW

The unshareable evidence.

I have a friend, a fellow biologist. A much more focused person, in terms of "gotta do this today", with lower barriers for action (e.g., I help her with simple English, but she is the one to tutor kids in it, and so on.) I have known her for about ten years.

And over time, I learned that her cousin died at seventeen. It was the time when atypical pneumonia was around, and he died in a hospital a week after he fell ill with typical symptoms, but his certificate had another kind of pneumonia in it. Officially, there was no AP in the area. And his death changed the familial structure so that it is still unbalanced, in a way, years later. Her sister has recently lost half a finger, after an accident with a saw, when there was a good chance of saving it. Both her children (one 14, the other 3 years old) usually get horrifying allergic swellings and fever from even the common bugs, and then only slowly get better. In the city region where she lives, there is one neurologist for ten thousand people, and she can't get an appointment. I keep hearing about such things when I visit her.

Her kids are unvaccinated.

We have talked about it, and she said all the usual things about vaccines causing autism, and the mercury, and the questionable quality etc. The Kitchen Argument uniting people all over the world.

Of course, the link between vaccines and autism was disproved, but this means that somebody did take it seriously. It's not one woman's struggle or suspicions, its The Statistics. You can discuss it much like weather - you're being polite! It gives me an ugly feeling, that a friend of mine should hide behind common and expected and false - she knows it's false - lore because she knows the script and to know that it was I who forced her to it. I and people like me gave her this shield.

But the pneumonia, the finger and the swellings, the life which she builds her thoughts around, never get mentioned. We've had the same education, we both know this has no relation to the narrow question of having some shots, but - there's shareable evidence, and then there's unshareable evidence. And in this setting, people don't have to update on evidence, even when they exchange some of it. With obvious goodwill all around.

Comment by mary-chernyshenko on Go F*** Someone · 2020-01-18T12:15:48.516Z · score: 4 (3 votes) · LW · GW
  1. "Wow, new words."
  2. Would that mean that married people are losers, from the discussed point of view, for the simple reason of having married at all, nevermind whom?
  3. You're kind of saying that the only way to not be lonely is to have lover(s). Is it cultural? I mean, I have a female friend with whom I meet as regularly as our kids' health permits us. She is the only person outside my family and relatives who does give a damn about me (enough for a phone call, for an informal invitation etc.) When I think about being lonely (and it happens to married people), I usually think that I should call her or get myself a dog, at last. Not a lover. That seems more about "bored" than "lonely".
Comment by mary-chernyshenko on Open & Welcome Thread - January 2020 · 2020-01-11T09:07:27.410Z · score: 4 (3 votes) · LW · GW

Sometimes it seems to me that old-ish reference books (on not too-hard science) age into cinematographic world-building. For example, there are some good volumes on the vegetation structure of European forests c. 1950-s. As botanic material, they are dated: the woods have burnt, grown, got paved, incorporated alien species etc., and the current methods to describe vegetation are more demanding.

Yet as simple pictures of the state of the world, grainy and washed out in places, they are good enough.

Comment by mary-chernyshenko on On Doing the Improbable · 2020-01-01T19:05:05.556Z · score: 1 (1 votes) · LW · GW

...and there's a difference between "didn't do it, things remained as they were (when otherwise they would be better)" and "didn't do it and suddenly all was lost (when otherwise it would not be)". People do improbable things of the latter kind. I expect that quite a few cancer remissions that do happen are actually improbable, if only because the treatment requires lots of money.

Comment by mary-chernyshenko on Moloch Hasn’t Won · 2019-12-29T19:22:08.264Z · score: 5 (4 votes) · LW · GW

Oh you firstwolder, you. Scott is so right somewhere.

(and how do you know that "Most communities do get most people to pitch in"?)

Comment by mary-chernyshenko on Propagating Facts into Aesthetics · 2019-12-29T16:51:17.600Z · score: 2 (2 votes) · LW · GW

In my experience, forests might be scary or safe. Uplifting or tiring (e.g., when there's a lot of light falling mosaically which makes it harder to distinguish shape and colour, or simply if the terrain is difficult). Trashed or robust, etc. And a scary, trashed, tiring forest might take your breath away all for an accident of the sun.

What I mean, when you have seen enough of something, your aesthetics go places you never meant them to. You begin to avoid calling it "beautiful" or "ugly", you just want more of it because you know it.

Comment by mary-chernyshenko on How asexuality became an identity · 2019-12-25T22:03:14.332Z · score: 2 (2 votes) · LW · GW

Reproduction will become a dreary task? Undertaken only with monomaniacal determination or a clear utilitarian gain? Have you ever tried to put a teething child to sleep?..

Comment by mary-chernyshenko on Karate Kid and Realistic Expectations for Disagreement Resolution · 2019-12-21T09:03:32.248Z · score: 4 (2 votes) · LW · GW

About the idea inoculation bit. It doesn't even require an idiot or two to be the first to explain an idea. (Although maybe I'm thinking about a different thing.)

It so happens that in the course of biology instruction in highschool and college where I live, the tradition is to open several courses with the same topic. Specifically, The Structure of the Cell. (Another motif, for botanists, is The General Life Cycle of Plants. I'm sure other specialties have their own Foundations.) And it's an important topic, but after the third time you just feel... dumber... when the teacher begins to talk about it. As if you try to find something new and exciting or in any case something to think about, and there's nothing there.

I would say it is the "keeping the abstraction level constant" that does it. I felt like I've got to actively work to avoid stupor and a desire to "just see it die in peace".

Comment by mary-chernyshenko on Approval Extraction Advertised as Production · 2019-12-21T08:34:38.398Z · score: 1 (1 votes) · LW · GW

yes, the one.

Comment by mary-chernyshenko on Approval Extraction Advertised as Production · 2019-12-18T18:48:44.919Z · score: 12 (3 votes) · LW · GW

(seems like HC's post is the most "meta" part of the discussion. Could we maybe talk about it, instead? That thing where in the world with AI, the concepts of a job and job satisfaction will undergo terrible change?)

Comment by mary-chernyshenko on Open & Welcome Thread - December 2019 · 2019-12-18T11:50:44.715Z · score: 11 (4 votes) · LW · GW

Sometimes it seems to me that LW is too ready to build for the ages. The best heuristics, the best textbooks, the best meetup practices. Either there should be mandatory time thresholds for re-evaluations, or we should maybe relax about this. (Except for the Boring Advice Repository, perhaps.)

Comment by mary-chernyshenko on Who are some people you met that were the most extreme on some axis? · 2019-12-17T20:25:49.833Z · score: 3 (3 votes) · LW · GW

I know a guy whom I would call "most long-game".

Right now it seems not much of a difference (although 15 years ago he did stand out as the level head among my acquaintances). He has been working in the same lab for almost 20 years now, since highschool. Curating an ongoing series of translations for 11 yr or so - both his own and those by more suitable specialists. Collecting earlier editions (once, a single-volume survivor which he got to be reprinted and circulated). Cooking new things, occasionally.

The downside is that damned concrete mixer living peacefully in the middle of our backyard.

Comment by mary-chernyshenko on Is Rationalist Self-Improvement Real? · 2019-12-14T11:49:32.969Z · score: 3 (2 votes) · LW · GW

Why are we even talking about this?

If we are rationalists, should not the second thing to do be "ask our not-rationalist close people how they view us, and whether this changed around time T when we started doing things R?" (Yes, their answers will be influenced by sheer unpurified "life", but much of that "life" also work on us.) And before we ask them, the actual first thing to do would be to look at our other acquaintances and try to remember them around the time T, to see how they changed.

I don't think this will work, beyond giving an impression of much noise. But since this won't work, everything more complicated is even less trustworthy.

Comment by mary-chernyshenko on Is there a scientific method? Physics, Biology and Beyond · 2019-12-06T18:32:26.351Z · score: 1 (1 votes) · LW · GW

I agree that it is sloppy of journalists. I just have not read any such piece in a while and so I have to ask - are they wrong, about the violating? Most of the time? It might be a gross oversimplification, but is it untrue?

Comment by mary-chernyshenko on Is there a scientific method? Physics, Biology and Beyond · 2019-12-05T21:32:43.867Z · score: 1 (1 votes) · LW · GW

But don't people who say "this violates..." already know this? "This violates" in biology is a biology-styled violation, in physics it is physics-styled, etc. When a physicist begins to ponder a biological problem, he often starts with heavy assumptions, but biologists don't tell him he's wrong to do it. (Even when they itch to say it, it's still not polite.)

Comment by mary-chernyshenko on Is Clickbait Destroying Our General Intelligence? · 2019-12-05T21:06:36.645Z · score: 1 (3 votes) · LW · GW

(a minor point. Feral children might not "exist", in a way. My zoological friends say it is quite possible that someone takes out an unfit child, or even just a mouth too many, to the forest and leaves it there. It is possible that a predator finds it and doesn't eat at once - predators can play with food. And it is possible that the child is found again before it dies. (Perhaps even without the predator part.) But it's no more than that.)

Comment by mary-chernyshenko on How do you assess the quality / reliability of a scientific study? · 2019-12-02T17:23:45.957Z · score: 1 (1 votes) · LW · GW

(a minor thing - I used to have a separate MSWord file with a table for "techniques". Some people prefer Excel and so on, but I find that Word helps me keep it laconic. The columns were: Species; Purpose; Fixation/Storage; Treatment; and Reference (with a hyperlink). Within Treatment I just highlighted specific terms. Very easy to see something out of the ordinary.)

Comment by mary-chernyshenko on Is daily caffeine consumption beneficial to productivity? · 2019-12-01T21:13:12.594Z · score: 1 (1 votes) · LW · GW

I drink coffee once in about two to three months. It increases my productivity for about three hours, once it kicks in, and ruins my next day and a half (especially the night). It's probably different for people who keep a pool of caffeine in them, I think.

Comment by mary-chernyshenko on Scope Insensitivity Judo · 2019-12-01T11:10:22.269Z · score: 3 (2 votes) · LW · GW

I think habit formation is a chain of pretty-low-stakes situations that result in high-stakes losses or wins, over time. How would you treat that?

Comment by mary-chernyshenko on Act of Charity · 2019-11-29T17:54:55.165Z · score: 1 (1 votes) · LW · GW

I prefer to give money (and effort) to people whom I know and know what they do. What they do might not be very efficient, but there are not many people who work on it at all; for reasons we have no power to change ourselves, building long-term infrastructure is not feasible. But losing this process now will be a worse throwback than having it taper out. So I have no problem with temporary measures, if it is all I can do.

Comment by mary-chernyshenko on Is daily caffeine consumption beneficial to productivity? · 2019-11-29T17:16:20.451Z · score: 1 (1 votes) · LW · GW

Over what timescale? Weeks, months, years, decades?

Comment by mary-chernyshenko on Mental Mountains · 2019-11-27T11:15:57.979Z · score: 1 (1 votes) · LW · GW

It seems related to how we view additivity. One stone is a stone, twenty stones are a heap and usually "matter" as a heap - separate valley. One tactless relative is a tactless relative, five of them are family history of no tact. And we know that stones, even lonely, usually only appear so - there's got to be the heap somewhere. I can imagine a GW critic counting on a fortress of anti-GW evidence which he hasn't found in finite time.

Interesting what makes us go looking for it, in any case, be it a good heap of stones or a bad one.

Comment by mary-chernyshenko on What's the largest sunk cost you let go? · 2019-11-25T18:39:30.752Z · score: 2 (2 votes) · LW · GW

Most culinary preferences of my youth, since marrying.

Comment by mary-chernyshenko on Writing That Provokes Comments · 2019-11-24T13:12:59.486Z · score: 1 (1 votes) · LW · GW

I wonder how much time one needs to recognize a higher-value comment irl. I mean, we could try each choose a post and come to the meetup to talk specifically about them. (Maybe not warn one another what it would be.) And then post the distillated hive-comments as responses... ...I also find it useful, but hard, to exit 'editorial mode' when commenting. Editorial-like comments are quick and mostly shallower than epistolary-like ones. It helps to imagine that you are actually mailing a letter to someone you give a damn about (and Lewis Carroll, of course, has advice on how to answer letters - )

Comment by mary-chernyshenko on How I do research · 2019-11-21T17:56:34.383Z · score: 1 (1 votes) · LW · GW

But this is not the actual test, is it? I mean, it's all good and well and lets you generate ideas and discard obviously unfortunate ones before - something that slays or upholds. (I know nothing about AI research apart from the fact that it is a thing.)

Comment by mary-chernyshenko on Impossible moral problems and moral authority · 2019-11-18T13:49:41.476Z · score: 1 (1 votes) · LW · GW

But it is not important. If it were important, you wouldn't think about it as "what do I want". For example, if you want "world peace" and you have two ways to achieve it, and you can't choose because both are so great, it means either that you have no dice or there is a reason why both would fail.

Comment by mary-chernyshenko on Open & Welcome Thread - November 2019 · 2019-11-17T17:45:22.532Z · score: 4 (3 votes) · LW · GW

How do you determine your "tiredness backlog"? When I am lack sleep, it seems that I have been so for decades (school days etc.), but obviously there's a limit to how much I can get back. (And the official stance on parenthood here is "oh you knew what you were getting into", so... hopeless, really.) And it is really easy to imagine that backlog small or large, there's no measure.

Comment by mary-chernyshenko on The Curse Of The Counterfactual · 2019-11-14T16:33:22.944Z · score: 1 (1 votes) · LW · GW

Not directly related to the specific question above, but as I do have a twin I do know that there's nothing to be done that I won't be able to regret. We envy each other and we both know it... and so 'shoulds' don't work just because they never have.

Comment by mary-chernyshenko on The Curse Of The Counterfactual · 2019-11-13T19:20:27.554Z · score: 1 (1 votes) · LW · GW

But doesn't it make you feel a bit deader? I mean, it's much easier to think "I wish he loved me more" when "he" is dead and can't "love you less" once again? That's how I came to just not paying moral attention to my father. I don't want to keep thinking "but I guess he just... didn't".

Comment by mary-chernyshenko on Integrity and accountability are core parts of rationality · 2019-08-24T17:55:59.673Z · score: -1 (2 votes) · LW · GW

(Kind of brought to mind The Godfather, which happens to be the book my husband had me read to explain the familial dynamics in the household. What can I say, it works. At least until people start going senile.)

Comment by mary-chernyshenko on Doing your good deed for the day · 2019-08-19T15:15:47.492Z · score: 1 (1 votes) · LW · GW

I wonder if being a "professional" environmentalist would not level this effect (in this particular setting), because once you start identifying something as A Job, it stops being quite so much a part of You. Or, rather, it becomes a different part.

Similarly, do people who routinely help at soup kitchens get desensitized to helping-poor-people-derived warm fuzzies?

Comment by mary-chernyshenko on Keeping Beliefs Cruxy · 2019-07-29T18:12:13.494Z · score: 5 (3 votes) · LW · GW

(hard to measure the length of a disagreement that you cannot voice, or you cannot voice anymore; which persists for years or decades and never gets anywhere except "I'm younger, I'll get to dance on his grave".)