• "The ten-second version of this video is that I believe that everything happens for a reason, because life is way more fun when I believe that. What I know is that I don't get to know whether or not things happen for a reason, in life. So, what I'm left with is what I get to choose to believe. And, I've been the person to extremely choose to say 'everything is all science', to be really spiritual about science, and to say that 'nothing can happen for some grander purpose or reason, 'cause that's hippy bullshit.' And I've been the super hippy person to say 'everything's happening for a reason all the time, and every set of numbers, and every single thing that I see has so much meaning that I need to unpack and understand -- to really connect with my human-ing.' And those are both extremes, I've learned, and maybe is helpful to someone who is on one of those extremes, and having -- feel like I've at least somewhat touched both of those walls, where I come to now is that it feels good to believe that there is some sort of a grander plan. Grander plan makes it sound more orderly than the feeling of it. Structure, feels like a more accurate word to say - that there's some bigger structure and sequencing of, when I need certain people in my life, or go to certain places or, witness certain things, and, it helps me to go into that observer sort of perspective, that I get to watch the show of this one human life that's happening and, the journeys that lead to other journeys. It gets, like -- talking about free will even, it just immediately gets meta, it's inevitably meta to talk about free will and decision-making, and so, something about beliefs, and believing in [long pause] There-there's -- a part of the discomfort that I had when I really rejected and resisted any notion of things happening for a reason was that it felt like this 'hands off of responsibility.' It felt as if, as if, I let...myself believe that things happen for a reason, then somehow that would not be claiming ownership of my decision-making. Maybe that's a similar experience that you've had, where - yeah, like, for, for me and for people I've talked to who have had similar experiences, it comes from this really great great -- it, it comes from this place of of caring, a lot, about ownership, and, and taking personal authority -- I feel like that's where I get so attached to free will, is to say 'Well, otherwise, what am I claiming as responsibility, and action, and -- in exchange, what am I giving back to the universe to get to be here?' If that resonates with you? I hope it does. I hope it resonates with somebody. It will resonate with one person {i.e. Annie is referring to herself.} She gets off track. Because it's uncomfortable to talk about, purpose and belief in free will because it gets spiritual and woo-woo to a point, again, inevitably. And, humans collectively are sort of figuring out how to talk about spirituality without it being connected to organized religion all the time, and also to talk how spirituality and science overlap and are the same thing, and it's all magic, it's all -- it's all doing the same stuff. In a chemical reaction, for example, or you could do some lab experiment, where things need to happen in a certain order to happen, however they happen, and to me that's the sort of. like. a lab science equivalent of, the more spiritual, emotional life happenings, that -- the order of events impacts the experience and, that there's a reason for timing, and there's a reason for what is happening, when. My emotional parts get all sorts of butt-hurt, and entertained, and all of the things, by not getting to know. I'd -- I have this big piece of me that feels the need to know, to be in the know, to know what's going on, and so, it's a, it's a weird 'yes, and' to say 'yes I believe that everything's happening for a reason' and 'I believe that I don't always get to know that reason.' In fact, a lot of the time, most of the time, while it's happening, I don't get to know that reason. 'Good one!' It's like, 'it's a pretty goofy game, somebody who's -- some, something that is orchestrating.' I don't know. I, I used to get so triggered when people would say the 'God' word, the 'G-word', I would be like, 'cool, I'm done listening to this human', like really shut it down. I was so spiritual, and religiously believing in science that I just I totally rejected that, and so, when people would say, 'God has a plan!', I would, my whole being would eye-roll. And here I am now saying that there is some-- that there's something bigger, that there's some structure, there is some 'plan', there is some arrangement, that is, more than, of course, any one person is gonna be able to see, because, I'm only seeing things through one perspective. I even -- even when I was super dogmatically believing in science, I still had this, this belief in human connection, and how, how there is something larger than any one human, because the interactions between humans and their communities, and bigger networks of humans, and how they create things and -- on all the levels, from, at -- one on one individual human connection, to large-scale human connections. It -- even my most rigid 'science mind' can conceptualize how that's bigger than one individual human. And [pauses] and so I can accept that there's more that I, don't see. There's more out there that I won't be able to see. And so then this is where faith and spiritual, woo-woo, all of the things, come in to say. 'do I choose to believe that it's there even if I can't see it?' And so, then science part of me comes up and is like, 'No you need proof, you need data, you numbers you need data. Where's the fucking graph?' And, like, super, like, Annie-who-lived-in-a-car raw vegan, super, super extreme spirituality. But like, a fruitarian Annie is like, 'You feel this through your chakras.' [Laughs] Ahhh, totally laughing at past versions of me. Fluffing my hair to, come to this version of me. Because, apparently, this was how I was supposed to film this video, and this was the timing that I was supposed to do this, and -- aaahh, the trust, the 'trust' word. The 'faith' word and the 'trust' word. Clearly, I needed a reminder of my faith, a way to help myself trust that everything happens for a reason. It's funny to me, because, objectively, life is more fun, and life is easier, when I believe that. So, what a clusterfuck to make more work for myself, to not believe that Does anyone else feel that way, about it? I-I actually, as I reflect back, in my, talkin' this out loud -- when I was really dogmatic, about science, as, 'this is the only right answer', I remember really wanting, really wishing, to have that faith in, in something bigger. And when I was really rigidly anti-science, I remember wanting to have that groundedness, in reality, in what is happening in this 3D existence. Clearly, I get really passionate about science and spirituality, and how they intersect, and, how it comes together. And, how they can both remind us that things happen for reasons, and then be used to investigate those reasons, or investigate why I'm resisting needing there to be a reason, 'cause, you know, what if the reason is just, is just the 'being-ness.' And on that, gettin' hyper yoda meta, note, thank you for tuning in. Please let me know any sort of reflections, or questions, or ideas that this brought up for you about, your experiences, about whether or not you believe that things happen for a reason, about, maybe, super-science, super-spiritual perspectives or, super cool blends of how those are coming together to, reflect on some of these questions. And, please share, like, subscribe, click, do the things. Check out the website, check out the podcast, check out the blog post, check out yourself and your feelings and your beliefs. I'm out on that one."

• "Sometimes it really sucks to be human being. And sometimes it's the greatest thing ever. And all the times, it's weird. It's been a little-er, little-er on the sucky side, the past few weeks. And, I'm recording hours before the deadline, which anal, pre-med Annie would have freaked out on, and current doing-video Annie is freaking out about this video quality -- what is this shot, even -- and, here I am, talking on my phone, wanting to, go watch some comedy, 'cause laughs are a necessary letting go, now and always. I'm submitting the Annie Altman Show projects, and the HumAnnie, which are my projects to understand and give a fuck about myself, essentially. Not essentially -- to give a fuck, about myself, in any capacity. And, work, for me, is the biggest addiction. I mean, pot is an addiction, social media is an addiction - there's plenty. And, work is an easy way to distract from feelings, for me. It was when I was on the pre-med route. So, I made my work feeling my feelings, and I made a podcast where I asked people about their feelings, and what it's like for them to be human, and the feelings that come up. And, I make YouTube videos to feel my feelings with music, or, talking about something that I find, helpful to process, and, has the potential to help someone process their own human-ing. As much as I want -- as much as I have wanted to feel other people's feelings, and know, everything about them, that's not reality. I, don't get to know everything about myself. I can learn pieces about myself, which is, which is what we're doing all the time. Sometimes we turn a camera on. So, the HumAnnie is an interactive stand-up comedy musical philosophy show. It's about how nobody knows how to be a human being, how there's definitely themes of being a human being, because everyone feels feelings, so there's something connecting all of us, and also that talking about these themes is my most effective idea to maximize resource equity and minimize human suffering, and minimize moments of insecurity, of, talking on a phone while crossing a street late at night, and making ramble-y videos you're gonna post on the Internet -- look at this fuckin' quality of image, what are you doin' wit-- I mean, I'm being a human. [Laughs] Thank you for listening."

• Ellen Huet: "Now, Sam and his family have given Annie money at times, but she says it always came with heavy conditions that made her nervous. At one point, Sam wanted her to get back on Zoloft, an antidepressant, which she had started as a teen but had stopped later on. She {Annie} forwarded me an email from Sam where he asked her to share her bank statements and to allow him and his mom to sit in on some of her therapy sessions in exchange for her rent and medical expenses being covered. She felt like it was his way of exerting leverage or power over her. Of course, Sam can spend his money as he pleases, but again, he's on stage espousing the virtues of universal basic income -- giving money away for free, unconditionally, -- and Annie says he didn't do the same here for her. There were times when I'd gone back and forth about what to include from Annie's story. It's a very personal, messy family situation, and I'll confess that on occasion I've doubted some unrelated things she's told me. But also, I've looked through corroborating emails and documents. We drove to a lot of places Annie lived, and I met people she lived with. So in late 2019, when she asked for help and says she was told no, she turned to something she considered a last resort. To make money, she started sex work. She made an account on a sugar daddy dating website where people trade money for companionship and often sex."
• Annie: "I was just...I was in a desperate place. I mean...people who have been in a position like this ever know that when you're in a place of selling furniture, you're in a desperate position of "I'm out options." This is a 'plan Z' I would not be doing this if plans 'A' through 'I' had worked out in any capacity."
• Ellen Huet: "The first thing she tried was video chatting with a middle-aged man. She flashed him on camera and he sent her money over Zelle. She posted videos on OnlyFans and PornHub.

• Annie writes, "I sat in my therapist’s office, in my walking boot and hormonal sweat, with my oldest sibling {Sam} there in person holding his phone with our mother {Connie} on FaceTime. The woman who bore me {Connie} told the therapist that it would be “best for Annie’s mental health if she fully financially supported herself,” and my multi-millionaire sibling {Sam} agreed. The therapist was utterly shocked, I was only half-surprised. 
  
  Perhaps with her {the therapist} highlighting that I never asked them {Sam, Connie} for financial help until very ill, and it still being so early in grieving our Dad {Jerry}, and with her {the therapist} highlighting their enormous wealth, the therapist somehow persuaded them to give short-term help for my basic needs...
  
  My mom {Connie} and my brother {Sam} didn’t honor the therapist’s plan for six months of financial support, and my rent money was late or less-than-agreed or had-to-be-groveled-for." [AA24b].
• In [AA23s], Annie specifies, "I was given some rent money for a few months in LA before moving back to Big Island for a work trade. We made a plan with the family therapist (we did two sessions with) for Sam and my mother {Connie} to help with my basic needs while I was sick. That plan was not followed." [AA23s]
• "That financial “help” became inconsistent and/or attached to strings. It would be less than the amount agreed on with the therapist, late for me to actually pay rent so I had to keep asked repeatedly, etc." [AA23t]
• My note: I've estimated that the family therapy session occurred in ~January 2020 based on:
  • Max Altman's text message in [AA24r], where he tells Annie that he, Sam, Jack, and Connie "think it's best" if Annie "pay{s} for things in June {herself}", i.e. if Max, Sam, Jack, and Connie don't adhere to the plan to pay for Annie's basic living, food, and medical expenses that they'd previously agreed to during the sessions they did with Annie with a family therapist, and
  • Annie's statement that Connie and Sam were withholding the "final month of a six month plan for basic life support...while offering a diamond Dad didn't ask to become to be sent to a rural mailbox" [AA24b]

• "Hello, to, past and future Annies, on, 26-year-old Annie's 26-year-old birthday. And, people watching this on the Internet, whenever, if ever however -- hey, happy birthday if it's your birthday today when you're watching this! Okay. Get that on my system. Fuck caring about food, and body image, and giving that attention. [Exhales] Fuuuck it, right? It's gonna, it's all gonna keep changing, no matter what. It's gonna keep shifting, in some capacity, so, my giving a ton of fucks in controlling it -- like, that sort of caring. Caring in terms of, 'It feels fun to braid my hair or, to move, or to take pictures' -- that stuff fuckin' blurs the line, and is a great place to learn to practice about it. Fuck this rigid, 'I need to look this way, I need to have my body be [gestures at various parts of her body] this way, I need to have this line, or this -- or, whatever thing, and food is how I'm gonna control--' Fuuuck, what are we doing? What are we doing? There's people who don't have food, and then there's people who [brings her hands towards herself, referring to herself] have disordered food tendencies -- which is a lot of people, who have disordered shit with food, and their body. And there's still a lot of people who don't have food, and it makes no sense to me, and then it it just makes the whole thing more of an upsetting clusterfuck. Agh-- [Exhales/sighs emphatically] And me shitting on myself for food and my body, is -- seems really ineffective, to get food to people who need food. What are the solutions here? Talking about it, on my birthday, before my friend gets here in five minutes, on my phone. [Sighs emphatically] Food is so personal, and bodies are so personal, and also they're so not, because we all have them, and we all need to eat. [Sighs] Everyone's so caught up in their own shit -- or, they don't have food, and things for their body, and so they're caught up in that. That, somehow we don't all know how to collectively pick our heads up and figure out how to all talk about food and bodies, like real humans that were all born with digestive tracts. I, needed to get something out of my system here. Aaaaand, yeah. We're all allowed to like ourselves. And, we're also all allowed to dislike distribution priorities about things, especially like food -- what are we doing? Do you know who needs to eat? Everyone! No matter any of your history with disordered-anything, or how you feel about your body image, or if you don't have the access to food, you still need to eat -- how are we not making this a human right? Okay -- I'm going off on rambles. Happy birthday, to me. This is, you know -- how do you celebrate, by, getting some frickin' feelings out for 3 minutes and 20 seconds that you need to, get out? What do you think about food and body image stuff? Do you feel like it is all a fear of death, and so we're wanting to control these things that are going to change, and {which} we don't have complete control over, but we like, kinda have a little bit of control over, and people biohack, and do fitness stuff, and we're like, 'Wait a minute, maybe there is free will, and can you can control shit.' But we haven't figured out how to control to [emphatically] get food to everyone. What are we doing? What are we doing, what are we doing? How does this video help? How can I help? What do I do to help? Like, I can give money and time to places, but it's bigger, it's -- this is a structural thing. [Annie starts making some facial expressions, then says] See, now I'm like looking at {I think the idea is that Annie started noticing and internally criticizing (i.e. Annie has been talking about her body image problems) her facial expression -- watch the video and you'll see what I mean} -- okay. [Laughs] Whooo! Nobody cares how other people look, really. And we do all care that people have access to food, because we all know that we need food. [Sighs emphatically, then in a singsong voice:] Food and bodieeees! [Laughs] Oh my god, I'm an awkward human. Does it make it more or less awkward to say that? Probably. [Long pause] Seriously, all these questions {unintelligible} -- type, share, what do you, how do-- what do we do? How do we do this? We got to talk about it. [Pauses] We gotta talk about it."

• "Hi my name is Annie. 'Thanks for welcoming me to the group.' I'm looking for insight on what feels like two sides of the same dualistic coin here, about listening to myself, and, validating myself. So, I feel like, in this point of life spiraling, where I'm at in terms of understanding connection is that it feels like a clusterfuck between boundaries and connection, and 'where's there space between myself and others' and 'how are everyone's feelings valid all the time?' And then, how do I still act in accordance to my own truth, and listen to myself? I was a very anal premed, I did all the classes to be a doctor, I worked in labs. I had a mental breakdown working in a mouse neuroscience lab, and peace'd out of there. Did one other lab, still, like,  holding on to this external thing of being a doctor, or psychiatrist -- of some, doing some neuroscience stuff, and, I veered, I did a yoga teacher training, I started writing, I do music, stand up, this one-woman show, and it's great, because I've listened -- 'great' -- because I've listened to myself about what I want to do, and at the same time, I've taken that, that same sort of rigid attachment about, like, 'the carrot on the end of the stick' and 'this is what I'm gonna be and do' and 'this is what's gonna make me happy' from being a doctor, and I put it on to this one-woman show, and my podcast and, these things that I've started doing as therapy. And part of my therapy has been unpacking this stuff about, how to validate that [pauses] the difference of doing something because it feels good, like, talking it out. Thank you for being here and listening."

• "I got $100 for an ankle MRI copay, after much 'discussion'"" [AA23k]
• ""Have you ever had to prove the $100 MRI co-pay needed to confirm medically necessary equipment to a blood relative with a net worth of well over $100 million? A very strange first world pain" [AA21d]

• From [BB24d]:
  • Ellen Huet: "Now, Sam and his family have given Annie money at times, but she says it always came with heavy conditions that made her nervous. At one point, Sam wanted her to get back on Zoloft, an antidepressant, which she had started as a teen but had stopped later on. She {Annie} forwarded me an email from Sam where he asked her to share her bank statements and to allow him and his mom to sit in on some of her therapy sessions in exchange for her rent and medical expenses being covered. She felt like it was his way of exerting leverage or power over her. Of course, Sam can spend his money as he pleases, but again, he's on stage espousing the virtues of universal basic income -- giving money away for free, unconditionally, -- and Annie says he didn't do the same here for her. There were times when I'd gone back and forth about what to include from Annie's story. It's a very personal, messy family situation, and I'll confess that on occasion I've doubted some unrelated things she's told me. But also, I've looked through corroborating emails and documents. We drove to a lot of places Annie lived, and I met people she lived with. So in late 2019, when she asked for help and says she was told no, she turned to something she considered a last resort. To make money, she started sex work. She made an account on a sugar daddy dating website where people trade money for companionship and often sex."
  • Annie: "I was just...I was in a desperate place. I mean...people who have been in a position like this ever know that when you're in a place of selling furniture, you're in a desperate position of "I'm out options." This is a 'plan Z' I would not be doing this if plans 'A' through 'I' had worked out in any capacity."
  • Ellen Huet: "The first thing she tried was video chatting with a middle-aged man. She flashed him on camera and he sent her money over Zelle. She posted videos on OnlyFans and PornHub.
• From [EW23a]:
  • "Sam offered to help her with money for a while, then he stopped. In their email and text exchanges, his love — and leverage — is clear. He wants to encourage Annie to get on her feet. He wants to encourage her to get back on Zoloft, which she’d quit under the care of a psychiatrist because she hated how it made her feel."
• From [AA22c]:
  • "“Take this drug you’ve already used for 10 years, that you worked supported by professionals to stop, and I’ll give you financial support for basic needs while you’re in a walking boot from tendinopathy and managing early PCOS symptoms making you unable to work ‘normal’ hours”"

• 1:07 -- "...we're all here bumbling around being like, 'Oh yeah, one day I'm gonna know how to be human!' And be like, 'Oh they know 'how to human', I don't!' Ridiculous, we're ridiculous!...The other point to introduce here is that when help can be given easily, and it's not, that's a form of withholding, and that's a form of manipulation. Neglect is, is still a power play."
• 4:35 -- "...health isn't a commodity! We're, these-- we're in bodies here! And then if we want to get into all of the, 'Oh, we're spiritual beings going through a human experience' -- believe that or don't believe that, we are still [touching her hands] all in -- we're made of the same fuckin' tissues for the most part here. We are cellularly more similar than we are different. And we all -- like, the book 'Everybody Poops' -- ok. Doin', I'm doin' my best to keep it chill, 'cause too much anger, is, doesn't get the point across, as well. Denying the anger, then I'm denying my human-ness, because emotions are -- we all feel feelings. Hey, to whoever you are, who's like, 'No, I don't feel feelings.' -- Okay. Okay. Ooookay. Yeah, that's, yeah -- sidetracked."
• 6:00 -- "...there are plenty of basic resources for all of the humans who exist, in these human suits at this human time. We have enough food. We have enough water. We have enough places for people to sleep in a sheltered, comfortable, secure -- people deserve comfy beds! Mmmmm! There've always been enough basic resources for humans, and, there still are! Making up money makes up systems that then can be used to withhold basic resources from people, or to tie them to specific jobs, or to tie people into marriages, or all sorts of things, because they're insecure about their basic resources being met. People who steal, people who do all sorts of things, may not otherwise do those things if they had their basic resources met, and, the general insecurity and instability you create in people and they don't know where their basic resources are coming from is [gesticulates with her hands] -- fucking, breeding grounds for manipulation of people, because they're unstable! [Calming herself down] Mmm. Breathing. Oh, I have a lot of things I haven't shared on the Internet yet. Okay. Huuuhhh. As a whole, capitalism thrives on insecurity. And, media, and people talking about the ways that body image, especially, for men and for women, for ways that money and wealth, are shown, and -- all of advertising is psychological manipulation to say, 'You'll be happy when 'X.'' And 'X' is a thing, it's when you have a thing, when you, have the appearance of the thing in your body suit, and then you'll be happy. And the more people are insecure, so the more people feel, 'Oh no, I need to have my hair' -- look, [referring to herself], I did my hair too many times for this! For-- The more we ingrain that in people, then the more easily they are to, manipulate, into things that they may not otherwise do."
• 9:16 -- "Body dysmorphia, and diet culture, and disordered eating is a great example of capitalism and insecurity, and the ways that, people are targeted, to, buy certain things based on certain feelings that have been manufactured in them. And then, again, going to a basic health need we have, an illness, we have, it is, taking it from these things that seem very grey area into black-or-white, into life-or-death, into 'It's not life or death until it is life or death.' And, we're commoditizing those things, so, people are harming their health by stressing about how they're gonna take care of their health. What. Why?"
• 10:56 -- "...if you first focus on people having their basic needs {met}, that changes so many things that that structure supports, because of all the implications that has on people's overall well-being, and general security of knowing that they live in a world that cares about their humanity. They're allowed to express feelings, that they're allowed to be sick, that they are allowed to receive care"
• 15:15 -- "...learning for myself, 'Where do I feel comfortable with capitalism, and where do I not, and, what are boundaries--' -- I'm going back into, [gestures with her hands] mnemn-neh -- Thank you so much for watching this. Thank you for, sticking around, for reflecting, for being a human. It is, for all of the ridiculousness and wonderfulness, and all the things -- moments of not knowing words for feelings. It is a fun feeling ride. So. Pretty cool that we have technology to connect with in these ways, and I look forward to seeing how humans use technology to connect humans to basic resources, more and more, and more and more, and how we all use technology to connect and talk with people. Talk with people! Thank you for tuning in. Thanks for being you."

• "hello well I can still move my face muscles I'm coming at you for coronavirus and hyper capitalism part two with a face mask on from a friend who works for this company speaking of capitalism and I was over helping her clean one day and she gave me the rest of this product so I thought this works for this video please check out part one if you have it and I'll also write the three main talking points down below so that you can look at those and there's three main talking points for this video so jumping right in the first point about hyper capitalism and coronavirus that is shown now in the connections being made I have my list again so in the first one I talked about how cap doesn't use humans as machines as computers different ways that we talked about the brain and consciousness showing where we place value and with the system of making up money and making up the economy we then start to equate money with freedom and with happiness and with worthiness and in some ways money does buy happiness when he does buy freedom it does buy a lot of material things and goods and services it buys its power it buys the ability to to do things and then there's all sorts of corrupt things that happen with huge amounts of money and people using that for huge amounts of leverage so we create these systems that start off as things that are made up and then end up being very real in terms of the ways that certain people are allowed to progress in that we made up that then can keep those systems in place so that those people can keep progressing so money again is a standardized system for goods and services to say here's numbers and we're going to sterilize everything on this scale so that we can compare it all essentially and have a way of making value of even down to workers comp health insurance of what is the value of a pinkie and how do we deal with an injury and monetize the value the monetary value of something so it's
• 2:52 -- continually putting everything in the framework of this one standardized system that we've made up. So, it ties everything, no matter how aware you are of it, and I'm speaking from my own untanglings of, my own awareness, of, how deep it goes to entrench beliefs and experiences with money, with beliefs about worthiness as a human, and existence, and inherent value, of, our human experience, as cliche or hippy woo-woo as that might sound to you comin' here with [pauses] -- this is my perspective to talk about here, I'm reminding myself.
• so to sound in other cliches that be in greement of the self-consciousness of capitalism makes me more self-conscious to talk about are all the cliche turns that are cliches for reasons of the white side you'll sell your own white settler colonial sets heteronormative patriarchy continued labels that thrives and that benefits from capitalism and so benefits from keeping these systems in place where
• 4:17 -- money is used as manipulation. To say, 'we're gonna psychologically manipulate you, using this very real tool that buys very real things that you need to live. And also buys things for experiences.'
• and disconnects us from the fact that we can pick things from the ground we can grow things from the ground we that things are that things just are and there are things there again I'm learning to care less about it sounding move but I can still move my face sort of point number two which is related and the progression of this hyper capitalist system so having capitalism in health care and education and rehabilitation systems in addition to tying our inherent human value to the concept of money it also ties our value to work and it ties work and money together and then we do things like tying money to health insurance and tying health insurance to work to money to value to I have to do all these things to this is how I give back which again as a psychological manipulation play because inherently as humans to pontificate more on human nature there's a part of us in all of us that that is altruistic that cares about giving back because it feels good for us and we're all self-centered in only living through one experience and we know that it feels good to help people and we have some indistinct you'll drive to help people call it community tribalism call pick your word and so using this ploy of saying you must work this way and then this structure and this amount of time in order to prove your worth with
• 6:30 -- receiving dollars so that you can have dollars for health insurance and your basic need-- costs
• in some way it's playing on that deep instinct and all of us that says I have a purpose I'm here to work I am here to create to make to give to do
• 6:52 -- I'm a human 'being' and a human 'doing', and, and how do i bridge those two together?
• and capitalism's like here you go you bridge it together with one of you know Matt now maybe three structures of ways you can do things and this is what you do and this is how you do it and however much you were able to put out there will be demonstrated with how much you give back and that will
• 7:17 -- demonstrate your value with a number. And diet and exercise culture play on this too, with hyper-fixating on numbers of, weight, of calories, of, minutes of exercise, and kinds of exercise, and so hyper-focusing on [pauses] on, a numerical thing.
• and math is real I'm not here to say math is made-up I'm here to say math is only part of the picture if thermodynamics was the only thing for example with bodies that it was all just about how many calories in and calories out then we would not see what we see with for example teenage male bodies and their size compared to their calories in and calories out so yes numbers matter and also numbers are not the full story so yes our work matters as humans and also that's not the full story and yes money matters to do things and also it's not the full story and that's some brainwashing of capitalism to say it is because again it makes people more easy more easily manipulated and controlled in feeling self-conscious into feeling like whatever they're doing isn't enough because you can always make more dollars I compare this to sometimes to video games and I feel like especially in the technology industry because of how many people in that industry have come from gamer backgrounds that there's this video game mentality that clicks in that it's about points it's numbers it's just an impure number game and it's a hyper drive of making it all about numbers which ok cool in a video game maybe that's a great place to process that experience and also that is negating a whole other part of the human experience in real life that there being so much more and again
• 9:31 -- I'm speaking for my own experience of, hyper-fixating on numbers, in all sorts of different facets. Because it's easy, it's easy, to be like, 'Well, then I have the answer.' In the same way it's easy to say, 'Oh, well, I don't have worth, I did something wrong, let me just take all the blame and all of everything.' And while self-responsibility is amazing, there becomes a point where it's another form of control. Is it saying, 'Oh well this is all because of me.' Still control. More reminders to myself.
• the third part that I have on the talking points for this calm around to of reflections on coronavirus and hyper capitalism is to talk about climate change and I talked about this um in the first video of saying that the earth is fine we it's up to humans if we want to live here if we want to keep living here it's up to us to find a way to live sustainably with this place that we get to live that has been here before we've been here as far as we're gonna be aware of it and just like there were plenty of basic resources before coronavirus and there's still plenty of them to distribute that we can still prioritize and focus on distributing everything to do with climate change happened existed what's happening was able to be addressed in some ways before and is still able to be addressed now and some of it has been addressed indirectly as a byproduct of how coronavirus as a whole has been addressed and there's definitely there's still more room to talk about the environment over the economy and to again come back to the fact that the economy is only gonna be here if humans are still here we made it up it's only gonna be here if we're here so if we wipe ourselves out or if we make the planet uninhabitable to us which is another way of wiping ourselves out it's still the planet is not climate change is a little bit of a misnomer because yeah the climate is changing and that makes it sound like almost like the climate cares or it matters to the climate and really it's humans changing because then so long to the species this is getting off into
• 12:33 -- What are we even doing here, cuz we're ruining the planet and, mneh-mneh-mneh, which -- is going back to the second thing I was talking about of, saying it's all -- making it all about what we did wrong and what we need to do differently -- and now I'm checking out how this {face mask Annie is wearing} almost is the same color as my skin! See-neh-hm-- [pauses] Distractions, from, taking life really seriously, and remembering that we are worthy of talking, and putting our thoughts and feelings out, and we are worthy of doing face masks, or doing things we don't do very often and, accepting things from friends who are willingly sharing. Aaand [pauses] I'm definitely making this to remind myself, because that's the only person I can really remind, and, I would love to hear, and my intention is that it helps somebody remember for [head pitches forward] themselves as well, that, you have value. There is inherent human value in every human, no matter their beliefs, and their participation or lack thereof any sort of capitalist system, and it's their prerogative.
• the part of this where we have a collective prerogative to talk about it is when it gets into impacting things we all share like the environment we all need air we all share the air you all need food you get the gist of this yay for video journaling publicly I would love to read any of your thoughts and feelings about capitalism about hyper capitalism about how this wave of coronavirus this pandemic wave in humanity is reflecting and also very logistical II shifting how we operate and how capitalism operates and please share please please tell me think so this can part three can be more of a discussion I got some talking points written and I'm really grateful for being able to philosophize like this this is an enormous privilege I'm here with the with a mask on my face I'm in a nice kitchen and I get a talk about [Music] capitalism and I get to talk about things that are happening from the comfort of a home so there's gotta be something called good and capitalism that we can use and we can harness to to give this right this basic right to everybody to have a place to rest and to make food and to relax that's the same as rest and ego do it okay thank you for tuning in thanks for sticking around I really appreciate the the patience the encouragement the enjoyment of some philosophical rambling again everything selfish because
• 16:01 --we only have one body we're experiencing things through, and it feels really good to [gestures with her hands] ~p-p-lel-bleh-leh~ -- think this stuff out, and then get it out in another way.
• so again please tell me what you think tell me you feel can really think it's gonna happen tell me what has happened in the past please let's all talk about this more I'm gonna go wash this off my face now thank you for watching and again again again thanks for being you"

• Annie will move again later, so it's helpful to clarify this now for those who may not know: Hawai'i (aka Hawaii) is a state in the United States of America, located far away from the rest of the states, in the Pacific Ocean. It contains 8 islands: Big Island, Maui, and 6 others.
• To get an idea of the geography of Hawaii, see Hawaii on Google Maps, and:

• 

• From [EW23a]:
  • "In May 2020, she {Annie} relocated to the Big Island of Hawaii. One day, shortly after she’d moved to a farm to do a live-work trade, she got an email from Sam asking for her address. He wanted to send her a memorial diamond he’d made out of some of their father’s ashes. “Picturing him sending a diamond of my dad’s ashes to the mailbox where it’s one of those rural places where there are all these open boxes for all these farms … It was so heavy and sad and angering, but it was also so hilarious and so ridiculous. So disconnected-feeling. Just the lack of fucks given.” Their father never asked to be a diamond. Annie’s mental health was fragile. She worried about money for groceries. It was hard to interact with somebody for whom money meant everything but also so little. “Like, either you aren’t realizing or you are not caring about this whole situation here,” she said. By “whole situation,” she meant her life. “You’re willing to spend $5,000 — for each one — to make this thing that was your idea, not Dad’s, and you’re wanting to send that to me instead of sending me $300 so I can have food security. What?”"
• In [AA24b], Annie writes:
  • "My Father never asked to become a diamond. I never sent my sibling the farm address. The mailbox was open, in a cluster of mailboxes in the middle of nowhere on the island. Plus, the most financially reasonable thing for me to have done with a diamond at that point was to pawn it for food money — and my sibling {Sam} was aware.
    I decided to go full no contact with my relatives. The family therapist we spoke with recommended I consider this more seriously, after telling me she could not professionally recommend doing more group sessions. She was not the first therapist to tell me to go no contact. Withholding the final month of a six month plan for basic life support, while I was very sick, while withholding money left to me from my Dad, while offering a diamond Dad didn’t ask to become to be sent to a rural mailbox, was my final straw to begin grieving all three of my siblings and my mother. A completely different and similar grieving process as grieving my Dad.
    The distinctions between “family” and “relatives” became more clear everyday."
• From [AA22b]:
  • "What does it say about YOUR mental health, to tell me that I’m somehow both too mentally unwell to make my own decisions and too mentally well to receive emotional or tangible support?"
  • "One reason of many for no contact"
• My note: I've estimated that this occurred in June 2020 based on:
  • Max Altman's text message in [AA24r], where he tells Annie that he, Sam, Jack, and Connie "think it's best" if Annie "pay{s} for things in June {herself}", i.e. if Max, Sam, Jack, and Connie don't adhere to the plan to pay for Annie's basic living, food, and medical expenses that they'd previously agreed to during the sessions they did with Annie with a family therapist, and
  • Annie's statement that Connie and Sam were withholding the "final month of a six month plan for basic life support...while offering a diamond Dad didn't ask to become to be sent to a rural mailbox" [AA24b]
• Thus, it seems that the 6-month plan was for the months of January 2020 through June 2020, and that Sam offered to send the $5,000 diamond he made out of Jerry's ashes during the final month of that plan, i.e. June 2020 -- the same month that he withheld the money he'd previously agreed to send to Annie such that she could afford rent, groceries, and medical expenses.
  • I think this is why Annie says that Sam was "was aware" [AA24b] that "the most financially reasonable thing for {Annie} to have done with a diamond at that point was to pawn it for food money" [AA24b].

• "Hey. Hey. Get yourself in something comfy, on something padded, or being something uncomfy and on something hard -- your body your choice. Here we go, virtual yoga. Start in any sort of seated position. You can tuck your legs under, you can sit cross-legged, sit up on a pillow. Place your hands face down so you're in contact with your own body with your palms. And as you may or may not have heard in yoga classes before, notice your breath. Trace it all the way to your bellybutton, maybe all the way to your toes, whatever that means to you. If that sounds too woo-woo, notice your ribcage moving, front and back, side to side, up and down. Every time you breathe [voise rises] all the time. Something that I'll do is I'll force relaxing, and I'll say, "Okay, I'm doing yoga, so I gotta start breathing really deep, and heavily and super zen." You don't have to do that. Notice it. Watch your breath. And if you do like to nerd on science, then remember Heisenberg uncertainty principle. So, just watching your breath is going to change it. [Exhales] Maybe notice what you can lengthen and stretch as you inhale I'm doing it literally -- and notice what you can let go. Maybe you can drop some tension in your neck, in your jaw, maybe you're clenching something and your butt or your toes. When you exhale, you can let it go a little. If it feels good to you, you can switch to palms facing up. Notice maybe what you can relax a little bit more in your back and shoulders. Maybe it feels good to really hold your own palms on your legs. I'm gonna give a bunch of very anal alignment cues of, very basic poses, and you are welcome to do whatever and however you want. Because I am here to remind myself that there is no wrong way to do things, so I'm filming this yoga video alone to share. Alright, here we go, shakin' off my own awareness [shakes her arms]. Make your way into a tabletop position -- and it's all about stacking here. So wrist, elbow over shoulder on both arms, knee over hip -- and as much as you can, having your spine not be stretching out so far, or not be crunching in. And feel free to do that, to check your own alignment. Come in way too far. Go out way too far. And find the middle path of your arm and knee line. Spread your fingertips wide, and focus on pressure through the pointer finger knuckle. It's easy to dump weight back in your wrists, and imagine you're gripping the mat with your fingertips. Pull your shirt together so you don't miss out on camera, relax your toes, your jaw, wiggle it out. If you do your own yoga, you're already doing cat-cow, and if not, you're like, "What is she talking about?" When you inhale, drop your belly button down. And when you exhale, bring your belly button up to the ceiling. Inhale to come down -- so all we're gonna do here is take our breath that's already happening, pretty weird, and we're gonna match it with our movement. And maybe as you do that, you can notice where you have some more space, or you can get into more [voice rises] pristine alignment, because it doesn't matter! I like to rock a little bit, front and back, or side to side, sometimes. Inhale, drop the belly button. Exhale, belly button up towards your spine. And now start to circle -- I know I said anal things, and the anal flow, and also we're going really slowly and hippie-dippie here. I'm wearing tie-dye. So you can do a circle -- ooh that was a good pop -- you can go like, circle your ribcage [pauses, doing the ribcage-circling-movement] or you can be like, 'Annie this is too much' -- I'm-- we're just gonna stay here. We're gonna keep going. Inhale. And exhale, waving your spine up and down. Inhale, bring your shoulders away from your ears. And exhale -- what can you let go of? Are you gripping your buttcheeks again? Probably. Come back to a neutral spine when you're ready here. We're gonna tuck our toes -- this is one of my favorite ways to go into down dog, to get that super anal alignment, bow bow, speaking of -- is to start from this position and focus on sending your hips over your heels first, rather than being like 'I'm just gonna pop my butt up in the air from here.' Push your weight back, and slowly peel your butt, your knees towards the back of your mat, or wherever you're facing. Pushing the floor away through your palms. And through that same pointer finger that you did in tabletop. From here, start to relax what you can on the exhales, and start to lengthen what you can on the inhales. There's a pattern [looks at camera]. Maybe you can find a little more space by rolling your shoulder blades down your back, let your ears actually breathe -- I know there's not lungs there -- [cracks her ankles] woooo! Maybe wiggle around a little. Maybe hold still. Maybe you're like, "Whoa Annie this is too much, this is too intense" -- put your knees down! Keep your weight back. Focus on pushing through the ground, spreading the fingers, same things, rolling the shoulders back. Can you tell I have not done my own yoga today? This is why I'm filming this video. Habubububububuhh! If you're still here in down dog, maybe pedal it out. Again, notice your alignment. What happens when you shift your weight into one pedal, what happens in the weight in your hands? What happens with your head? Where is your breath going? Does something start to pinch, and maybe you just breathe to, like, your collarbone? We've all been there! We've all been there! All right, as you are ready, whenever your next exhale comes on around, we're gonna step that right foot forward, and drop the back knee down. Cover yourself once again -- this was not the top to wear for this -- and check-in just like in table top, ankle over knee alignment. Keep your big toe facing forward, and notice your back toes, it's easy to sickle in. Lines. Straight lines! And also life is messy and we're in bodies so it's not going to be perfect. Aaaaaaaaahhhh! I'm talking to distract you here. This might be really intense in your hip, maybe you're in the splits. Can you notice your breathing more? Not necessarily deepen, just notice it. And let's start to connect with the breath again, and some movement, when you exhale, shift your weight back. When you inhale, shift your weight forward. When you exhale, shift back. Notice, there's a little pause every time between your inhale and exhale. And inhale, come forward. Do two more, do seven more, do you whatever you want to do. [Pauses, doing yoga movements] When you're done with your moving, slowly raise your chest, maybe on a big inhale. Arms up. Yogi dealer's choice here. You can go all big and back. You can stay straight up. Maybe it feels good to bring your hands together, your hands on your leg. I know I said I'm gonna be anal, and then I'm gonna anally make you listen to your body and choose what do you need right now? What feels really good to you? Maybe hold it -- yeah I'm gonna do this one. I'm gonna do this one! When you inhale, imagine string, like a puppet, pulling you up. When you exhale, there's probably something in your right butt cheek, and somewhere in the front of your left leg, front quad hip area, that you can release a little. Something I know helps me is tucking my lower ribs under, and rolling my shoulders back. And then when I start doing and thinkin' about all these anal things, my jaw wants to go up. Let it go. [Shaking her head] Buwuwuwuwuh. On exhale, bring your hands back down to the mat. Tuck those back toes under, push up through your hands, putting a weight in your left leg and your two hands, step the right foot on back into plank, and then from here we're gonna go into down dog to check our alignment. Feet hips width apart, you can walk your toes forward a little if you want, you can keep them exactly where they are. I'm little tight today, so I step forward. I'm a little tight this [voise rises] whole few--[cuts herself off] luhluhluuhmneeehh. I'm so loose. It doesn't matter. These are all words! Is this what happens in your head when you do yoga? Relax your toes, shake out your butt, your hips. And I wanna exhale, where you go to the other side -- I'm going to the other side, I don't know what you're doing, you're through a screen -- step your left foot forward, knee over ankle. And then check in with those back toes, once again. I'd really like to skrunch my toes up a lot of times when I stretch my hips out. My toes and jaw wanna be like, [voice rises, facial expression becomes aggressive/agitated] 'Let's protect her!' Or [shakes head] something. So notice, each exhale, what can you relax a little more? And then again, as you're ready, exhale. Scooch it on back. Thinking about that same downward dog motion of, your hips being pulled back. When you inhale, come forward, and notice knee over ankle. We're going to do this for the rest of the class. Until you're ready -- to not -- your body your choice, once again people! Use an inhale breath to sit yourself up, stacking your shoulders over your hips. For me I know I need to {unintelligible} these lower ribs in. Roll these shoulders back. Wooooo. And pick your hand position here. You can go straight up. You want that back bend. Ooooaaahhhh! You want those hands together, rolling the shoulders down. Your only job is to find one spot in your body, and see if you can relax it a little. That's it. [Pauses, doing yoga and pronounced inhales and exhales] Bring your hands back down as you're ready, and same as in tabletop, wide palms pushing through your fingertips through that front pointer finger knuckle, tucking the back right toes, and back into plank we go. Take one big inhale here, and on your exhale bend your knees as much as you want while you make your way to down dog. Nobody cares how straight your legs are! Your body cares how tucked your pelvis is, and how in your ribs are. And how much space you're finding for breath. This literal stuff. Loosen up your muscles, and they have more space to expand, and contract, more blood flow. [Pauses, doing yoga and pronounced inhales and exhales] Step the right foot forward again -- this time, bring the shin to the ground, or take a very easy pigeon. And by easy, I mean relaxed. This is not an easy pose. Untuck those back toes. Or it is easy, you pick your talk here. Okay. So maybe you're here, and you're like, 'This -- we're good, lady.' Great. You do it. You stay here. Maybe you want to come up a little bit. Maybe you're up, you're in full -- do you. You do you do you. I'm gonna stay here for today with my fingertips, helping to get my shoulders over my hips as much as my body, at this exact moment, is going to let me. Check in with your feet here, it can be easy to either have your toes pointing way out, or tucking way under you. Find a position that feels good. If you can't breathe, or if your breathing becomes really strained, that is your body saying, 'Move, do something else, that position is not for you.' If you can breathe, and you really need to give it more attention, then maybe get a little curious, notice, 'Oooh, what is happening right here? And can I pretend I have a little lung right in this spot, that I'm imagining [inhales] all my air is going to here [exhales]. What does that mean? Maybe it's all it's all malarkey. Maybe it is your hip breath chakra meridian. If it feels good to you, you can come down on an exhale, either on to your forearms -- you can bring your elbows out to the side, and bring your head down to the mat. And in this position, if you're down, imagine that same motion of down dog, of your hips being pulled back towards the back of the mat, rather than all your weight coming forward. Inhale, can you lengthen, still through the top of your head like you're getting pulled, and when you exhale, can you relax something, between your shoulder blades, maybe your groin, maybe your instep is really feeling it in your your arch right now. Buuuwuwuwuwuwuhhh! I dare you to make a weird noise. Inhale, find some length. And exhale, find some release. And then again, whenever you're ready, use an inhale to come back up. Or if you've been, up this whole time -- you go Glen Coco! -- that was a rough joke. When you're ready, bring the palms of your hand flat to the mat -- once again, fix your outfit if you chose not-the-thing-for-filming -- tuck the left toes under. And here we go, same thing as before, we're going to put weight three points of contact, so we have two palms, and our toes, we're gonna go back into plank, whoo, and then we're gonna bend our knees and go back into down dog. Rock it out, wiggle, roll it, maybe dance it and twist it, bop it, you do you. And next exhales, you're ready, steppin' that left foot forward, shin down to the ground, pigeon pose other side. I like to walk my right toes back a little, I like to wiggle a little bit. Maybe the sides of your body are really different, or they're really different today. That happens, we're not symmetrical, as much as, sometimes, we want to be, so maybe on one side your way tighter or looser, and that's cool. Find the place again, on this side, maybe it's down here, maybe you're all the way like you do you. Find what feels good. Thank you yoga with Adriene. Shout out -- you're so cool, please come on the podcast. Oh my god, what yoga with Adriene filmed a video together and a podcast together. I met someone who knew her once, an insane story, and I almost peed myself leaving messages back and forth with her one time. Bless your virgo heart. [Stretching] Ooooohhhaahhh she's still particular and goofy I love it. [Stretching] Ooooaahhhhheeehhhh. Same thing here, you wanna come down, come down. You can come down to your forearms. You can rest your head down. You could do neither of those. You could just sit and watch this whole video and not do it. I'd be a little confused. As you inhale, find somewhere to grow, to stretch, to expand. Maybe it's just noticing your ribcage pushing on your leg, 'cause your ribcage contracts and expands [voice suddenly rises] all day. All day! Maybe when you let go it can be, like, saying a bunch of words, or having a bunch of things go through your head. Maybe you don't need to think about things for the next few minutes. Maybe you need to give advice the Internet that you're learning to take for yourself. Come up on your next inhale, whenever you're ready. Wiggle it out, shake it out, do your thing. You fail yoga, so you should just turn the video off now, 'cause, everyone's doing it wrong. Plant your hands, palms wide, push out, really noticing getting weight in the front parts of your knuckles here. Tuck those toes under, back into plank, back into down dog. Roll the shoulders down, roll the hips, stick your butthole up. Nobody cares if your legs are straight, and nobody cares if your heels are touching or not, I promise. Drop your knees down and send your hips back over your heels, find Child's Pose. Maybe you want stillness, or maybe you want to rock side to side, or just rock your forehead out, for a little third eye and/or forehead massage -- like, nobody cares, do what feels good. Find a little movement and a little stillness. On your next inhale, slowly, so slow, roll yourself up, letting the top your head be the last thing. So slow on the roll, people, slow your roll! Slow it! Whooo. Really crunch everything in. Whoooooo. Tell your disordered eating parts that stomachs literally roll, doesn't matter your body fat percentage, nobody cares. Roll your shoulders down your back. Let your shoulders fall away from your ears. If it feels good, again, for you, to go crisscross here, find a different seated position, go for it. Imagine that string pulling up through the top of your head. And notice, just like we did in cat cow, can you tuck your pelvis under just a little? Let's come back to noticing. Just be aware. Which is more challenging than controlling it, for most of us. You're inhaling and exhaling all the time. So for me, it feels really grounding come to something very tangible and physical. And notice my ribcage, front and back. Notice my ribcage, side to side. Notice my ribcage, up and down. You can picture a sphere in your head, of your ribcage, like an accordion sphere. It's been going this whole time you've been moving. It's been going before you ever clicked on this video, and it will keep going until you are not going. Which will happen to all of us. Let's end with one big inhale. Raise your arms up, huge stretch, exaggerate, dance, shake, maybe let out some more goofy noises. Woooowoowoowwhaa. Bring your hands, palms together. Bow your head down. Say thank you to your body. You would not be here. This is where your life is happening. Thank you, from my body to yours. Thank you from my mind, my soul, whatever you believe in. Thank you for my sadness, my darkness. The darkness and the light in me see the darkness and the light in you. Thank you for your time and your energy, whatever energy means to you. Words and movement.

• Annie writes:
  • "After a couple months, I had to stop work trading on the farm because of my ankle again. Even small plantings and weeding was too much. One of the owners of the farm kindly and graciously found computer work for him for me to do seated, which gave me more time while I scrambled with my legs up the wall in constant ankle and knee pain. I had both an Etsy Shop and Patreon for my podcast, though they didn’t make enough to even cover my phone bill." [AA24b]
  • "Still unsure how to rest and heal my body, I found a room rental in town and started OnlyFans. I applied for EBT food stamps and Medicaid, which felt so surreal while sharing DNA with millionaires. I had also applied for unemployment in California in April 2020, as at first I didn’t want to clog up the system for people who weren’t directly related to millionaires who could help them. I was one of the millions who had identity theft on their unemployment, and so had to go through paperwork and hearings for it to finally come through in November 2020." [AA24b]

• "{In summer 2020} I decided to go full no contact with my relatives {Sam, Jack, Max, and Connie.}...After a couple months, I had to stop work trading on the farm because of {health issues with} my ankle again. Even small plantings and weeding was too much...I scrambled with my legs up the wall in constant ankle and knee pain...So back to September 2020, starting OnlyFans. I started very softcore, for all sorts of reasons. I was uncomfortable showing much of my body, both because of a history of eating disorders and body dysmorphia and because my body was physically hurting in so many ways. I enjoyed parts of posting, and being front-facing about it all. Sharing pictures and videos on my own terms felt healing for years of insecurities with my body and sexuality and preferences, like exposure therapy for all my conditioning to hide. It felt like a very specific art therapy project. I was confused about liking parts of something that was a plan Z last resort. I was still too sick to teach yoga. I had considered and attempted various mindless computer jobs, and found myself completely incapable. 
  
  After going no contact because of financial and emotional abuse, I was flooded with memories of sexual abuse I had repressed. I had flashbacks of the sexual and physical abuses my whole life, though it wasn’t until the silence of no contact that I had the space to connect the dots. In college and after, I had projectile vomited multiple times during sex with men I loved and trusted. I remember talking about this and related things with therapists, unable to wrap my mind around how violently my body had responded. *
  
  Now, literally on my ass from tendon and nerve and hormonal and digestive and ovarian cyst pain, I had a lot of time to remember the flashbacks’ details." [AA24b]

• To me, this letter seems to be somewhat sarcastic. Annie is "thanking" her relatives in a way that conveys implicit criticism.
• Example: "Thank you for strengthening my sense of self. I am where I am and doing what I’m doing in part because of each of you. My tenacity and gentleness to take care of myself has increased because of you. The lessons I’ve received from my relationships with you have shifted my perspectives beyond their limitations. Thank you for providing contrast." -- What I think Annie is referencing here is how her relatives screwed her out of her money and (esp. Sam) abused her for a very long time. To this, she had to adapt by developing better ways to take care of herself, and was also forced to move around in a state of relative financial poverty.
  • As with the rest of the letter, Annie includes seemingly-upbeat, purposefully vague one-liners throughout the letter, such as "Thank you for providing me with contrast." (The implied negative connotation isn't too hard to infer.)

• "I had two adulthood sexual assaults while living on Maui that triggered more flashbacks. I’m grateful for those assaults in a fucked up way, for the clarities they gifted me. Half awake feeling unequivocally, “I’ve experienced exactly this before.” Though I was more set back emotionally and financially, managing even more flashbacks of old memories flooding in and incapacitating me." [AA24b]
• "The two assaults were outside of in-person sex work, both right before I started and another final straw of sorts. Adulthood assault{s} are common triggers for remembering more childhood information, patterns get repeated until they are sorted." {AA24v]

• "While deep in my own tendon and hormone and trauma healing, I turned to escorting. Most of my emotional and thought space was on various sexual healings of my own, so extending it to include others felt less intimidating. My days were hazes of PTSD flashbacks with whatever grounding exercises I could do, whatever floor yoga and stretching I could do, and physical therapy. I had to budget basic things like grocery trips based on how much I could walk or carry. I couldn’t carry heavy things or go on long walks, and could manage even shorter beach walks because of the uneven surface. I was constantly stressing about my health and money, and feeling hopeless and powerless. Being sick is very expensive, and also a very challenging state to be in attempting to make money." [AA24b]
• "My ankle and knee and hips would hurt extra some days, and it wasn’t for another year when I was referred to a pelvic floor physical therapist that I knew I was also managing nerve pain." [AA24b]
• "I decided to get on SeekingArrangements again, now living on Maui. My disabilities and desperation made me more open to navigate the website, and I figured it would be very different than in LA. It was different, though I was still resistant to actually meet anyone in person...{eventually,} I took the plunge to meet someone in person." [AA24b]
• "The first client I ever had was in an open relationship, where his partner gave him permission for “paid play partners” that she approved of. We met on video chat, then I met him for coffee, then a few days later he was at my place. We talked, we fucked, he sent me a Venmo, he left." [AA24b]
• "I logged on my computer and paid a bill I was behind on, immediately." [AA24b]
• "My last escorting experience was with a man who was experimenting with his queerness, and wanted me to bring another man in. I invited a filming partner, as I had started making hardcore porn on OnlyFans and PornHub at that point. Before the filming partner came over, the client said “I’m so gay!” — while his dick was in my mouth between words of the dick about to be in his mouth — followed by “omg I’ve never said that before” and a distant stare. I felt that stare, back to a stare I’d experienced decades ago." [AA24b]
• "In the shower after I prayed that would be my last experience in person, and I could switch to all virtual. I knew an article would be coming out soon quoting me in New York Magazine, and I prayed it would give me the exposure to support myself with OnlyFans." [AA24b]
• While deep in my own tendon and hormone and trauma healing, I turned to escorting. Most of my emotional and thought space was on various sexual healings of my own...My days were hazes of PTSD flashbacks with whatever grounding exercises I could do, whatever floor yoga and stretching I could do, and physical therapy......My last escorting experience was with a man who was experimenting with his queerness, and wanted me to bring another man in. I invited a filming partner, as I had started making hardcore porn on OnlyFans and PornHub at that point. Before the filming partner came over, the client said “I’m so gay!” — while his dick was in my mouth between words of the dick about to be in his mouth — followed by “omg I’ve never said that before” and a distant stare. I felt that stare, back to a stare I’d experienced decades ago." [AA24b]
  • ""My last in-person client came out to me as gay followed with “omg I haven’t ever said that out loud before,” as I flashbacked and did my best to stay in “work mode.” Will be more/less something when less ptsd-y" [AA24q]
• From [AA24j]: "Can you imagine how much more I’ll scare them now that I’m getting my tendon/nerve/ovaries cared for, not sucking dick for rent money while my Dad’s Trust was completely withheld, and learning it’s safe and allowed for me to share my story on my terms 🥰"
• From [AA--b]: "Yeah I was super sick...and houseless...and sucking "parts" for...{money?}...and so now -- well, first of all, 'cause that was some outrageously good fuckery (abuse), and -- now I'm un-fuck-with-able!"

• 7:39 -- Annie has blue medical tape on her left ankle and foot:

  • 

• 9:21 -- another view of the medical tape on Annie's left ankle and foot:

  • 

• 9:47 -- "Nobody cares. Again, nobody cares, you're good, you will feel good in your body. I'm reminding myself here. {If} you're ever like, 'Why do people guide yoga?' They're guiding themselves. [Exhales] So, my jaw is often a place to go, with my feet and hips getting tight. Notice, maybe you're feeling it in your jaw, your neck, maybe your shoulders are like, 'Fuck this, this hurts!' Check in, say hi! Same thing, wiggle it out a little, if that feels good. {If} something's really intense, back off."
• 12:37 -- "Maybe one side is much tighter than the other. Maybe they're really symmetrical. Yet it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter! It doesn't matter. This side is much higher for me because of this tendon [gestures to the top of her left leg]."
• 13:56 -- "Say something nice to your body. You can thank your ankles, you can thank your toes. Maybe that arch is like 'Yo bitch, we gotta talk.'"
• 15:50 -- "We're doing this to feel better, not worse. Again, reminding myself here."
• 17:00 -- Annie is massaging her foot (i.e. presumably because it's injured, hurting, etc.)
• 17:18 -- "Come back to your breath. I know the first time, I ever did this i like interlaced my fingers when I was like [inhales sharply] gotta keep breathing, Can you say something nice about your foot? Learning that practice here. Thank you foot, thank you ankle, thank you tendons. Pretty nuts how you all work!"
• 27:07 -- "Slowly make your way onto your back here. Knees up, and let's knock the knees in. 'Restorative rest pose', 'constructive rest', call it whatever you want. [Lying on her back with her knees up, feet on the yoga mat] So, feet as wide as the yoga mat, knees touching, arms up. [Exhales] What can you surrender here? Maybe right between your eyebrows, maybe where your neck meets your shoulders. Maybe you're clenching your asshole. [Looks from side to side, as if talking to her various body parts] I see you. I hear you. I feel you."
• 29:10 -- "[Lying supine on her back, legs outstretched] One hand on your heart, and one hand on your stomach here. And just like we started, one big box breath. And then no more breathing. Bad joke."
• 31:15 -- "Thank you so much for giving your time, your energy, for loving on your feet, for allowing me to guide you through some amount of you connecting with you. Namaste. The darkness in me sees and honors the darkness in you. Thank you for your light and your dark. I'm gonna link Black Le’more here so you can check out his music. I'm gonna put my Venmo and Paypal, if you're able to send any donation here, if you're able to support on Patreon, or any of my other places, please check it out, and thank you again so much for tuning in. Have a nice rest your day."

• 0:00 -- "Oohhh, let your mind be walked."
  • Throughout the video, Annie sings about the general them of letting one's mind (her mind) be walked.
• 7:58 -- "We're all just unpacking our childhood traumas"
• 8:10 -- "Therapyyy, you wonder, your mind, your feels, your body. Learn, play, believe, sing things, words and meaning"
• 8:57 -- "Find meaning in your mind"

• 2:26 -- "And let's do a little bit of tapping, you can start on your legs, you can start on your hips. If you're not familiar with tapping, go down the YouTube rabbit hole later about tapping, tap therapy"

• Note: I Googled "tap therapy", and this article came up at the top:
  • What Is Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) Tapping? -- healthline.com
    • (Header)
      • Medically reviewed by Kerry Boyle D.Ac., M.S., L.Ac., Dipl. Ac., CYT — Written by Kiara Anthony — Updated on March 18, 2025
    • (Top)
      • This technique focuses on tapping the 12 meridian points of the body to relieve symptoms of a negative experience or emotion.
      • EFT is an alternative treatment for physical pain and emotional distress. It’s also referred to as tapping or psychological acupressure.
      • People who use this technique believe tapping the body can balance the energy system and treat pain. According to its developer, Gary Craig, a disruption in energy causes all negative emotions and pain.
      • Though still being researched, EFT tapping has been used to treat people with anxiety and people with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
      • ...
      • EFT tapping in 5 steps
        • (Top)
          • EFT tapping can be divided into five steps. If you have more than one issue or fear, you can repeat this sequence to address it and reduce or eliminate the intensity of your negative feelings.
        • 1. Identify the issue
          • In order for this technique to be effective, you must first identify the issue or fear you have. This will be your focal point while you’re tapping. Focusing on only one problem at a time is purported to enhance your outcome.
        • 2. Test the initial intensity
          • After you identify your problem area, you need to set a benchmark level of intensity. The intensity level is rated on a scale from 0 to 10, with 10 being the worst or most difficult.
          • The scale assesses the emotional or physical pain and discomfort you feel from your focal issue.
          • Establishing a benchmark helps you monitor your progress after performing a complete EFT sequence. If your initial intensity was 10 prior to tapping and ended at 5, you’d have accomplished a 50% improvement level.
        • 3. The setup
          • Prior to tapping, you need to establish a phrase that explains what you’re trying to address. It must focus on two main goals:
            • acknowledging the issues
            • accepting yourself despite the problem
          • The common setup phrase is: “Even though I have this [fear or problem], I deeply and completely accept myself.”
          • You can alter this phrase so that it fits your problem, but it must not address someone else’s. For example, you can’t say, “Even though my mother is sick, I deeply and completely accept myself.” You have to focus on how the problem makes you feel in order to relieve the distress it causes.
          • It’s better to address this situation by saying, “Even though I’m sad my mother is sick, I deeply and completely accept myself.”
        • 4. EFT tapping sequence
          • The EFT tapping sequence is the methodic tapping on the ends of nine meridian points.
          • ...
          • While tapping the ascending points, recite a reminder phrase to maintain focus on your problem area. If your setup phrase is, “Even though I’m sad my mother is sick, I deeply and completely accept myself,” your reminder phrase can be, “The sadness I feel that my mother is sick.”
          • Recite this phrase at each tapping point. Repeat this sequence two or three times.
        • 5. Test the final intensity
          • At the end of your sequence, rate your intensity level on a scale from 0 to 10. Compare your results with your initial intensity level. If you haven’t reached 0, repeat this process until you do.
        • ...
        • What is EFT tapping used for?
          • EFT has been used to effectively treat PTSD in war veterans and active military. In a 2013 studyTrusted Source, researchers studied the impact of EFT tapping on veterans with PTSD against those receiving standard care.
          • Within a month, participants receiving EFT coaching sessions had significantly reduced their psychological stress. In addition, more than half of the EFT test group no longer fit the criteria for PTSD.
          • There are also some success stories from people with anxiety using EFT tapping as an alternative treatment.

• 3:43 -- "Where's your favorite place to tap for somatic therapy? Comment below."

• Note: I Googled "somatic therapy", and this article came up at the top:
  • What is somatic therapy? -- health.harvard.edu
    • (Header)
      • Somatic therapy explores how the body expresses deeply painful experiences, applying mind-body healing to aid with trauma recovery.
      • July 7, 2023
      • By Maureen Salamon, Executive Editor, Harvard Women's Health Watch
      • Reviewed by Howard E. LeWine, MD, Chief Medical Editor, Harvard Health Publishing; Editorial Advisory Board Member, Harvard Health Publishing
    • (Top)
      • Trauma can register within our bodies on a cellular level. What that means to an individual — and how best to heal from serious traumas encountered in life — is the focus of a newer form of mental health counseling known as somatic therapy.
      • The resounding success of The Body Keeps the Score — a fixture on the New York Times bestseller list for more than four years running — testifies to mounting public awareness that trauma affects people deeply. Thus far, though, somatic therapy hasn't caught up to cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and related techniques in understanding, use, or research proving its worth, a Harvard expert says.
    • What is somatic therapy?
      • Most people likely haven't heard of somatic therapy, says Amanda Baker, director of the Center for Anxiety and Traumatic Stress Disorders and a clinical psychologist in the department of psychiatry at Massachusetts General Hospital. Unlike other mind-body approaches such as mindfulness meditation, mind-body stress reduction (MBSR), and mindfulness and self-compassion (MSC) — which are steadily growing in use — somatic therapy hasn't hit the mainstream.
      • What's the fundamental concept? "It's a treatment focusing on the body and how emotions appear within the body," Baker explains. "Somatic therapies posit that our body holds and expresses experiences and emotions, and traumatic events or unresolved emotional issues can become 'trapped' inside."
    • Who might benefit from somatic therapy?
      • Since disturbing feelings often show up in the body in debilitating ways, somatic therapy aims to drain those emotions of their power, relieving pain and other manifestations of stress, such as disrupted sleep or an inability to concentrate.
      • These types of emotions can stem from a variety of conditions and circumstances that somatic therapy may potentially help alleviate. They include
        • post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
        • complicated grief
        • depression
        • anxiety
        • trust and intimacy issues
        • self-esteem problems.
      • "Anxiety can lead to muscle tension, particularly in the neck, shoulders, jaw, and back," Baker says. "It can cause a lot of discomfort, pain, stiffness, and trouble with daily activities. If we're experiencing chronic anxiety or distress, it's almost like we have our foot on a gas pedal. It's not a panic attack, but we're never feeling a reprieve and there's a constant wear and tear on the body."
    • How does somatic therapy differ from talk therapies?
      • Typical talk therapies such as CBT engage only the mind, not the body, encouraging people to become aware of disturbing thoughts and behavior patterns and work to change them.
      • But in somatic therapy, the body is the starting point to achieve healing. This form of therapy cultivates an awareness of bodily sensations, and teaches people to feel safe in their bodies while exploring thoughts, emotions, and memories.
      • "Cognitive behavioral therapies focus on conscious thought and work on challenging thoughts in relation to anxiety and behaviors, helping desensitize people to uncomfortable sensations," Baker says. "But somatic therapy is more about relieving the tension, as opposed to desensitizing people to it."
      • Even mindfulness meditation, which some experts consider somatic in nature, differs in one key way from somatic therapy, Baker says. "Mindfulness meditation lets any feeling or emotion come into our minds without judgment, as opposed to homing in specifically on bodily sensations that are happening," she says.
    • How is somatic therapy carried out?
      • A somatic therapist helps people release damaging, pent-up emotions in their body by using various mind-body techniques. These can vary widely, ranging from acupressure and hypnosis to breathwork and dance.
      • Other techniques are just as integral but aren't household terms. Some on this list include:
        • body awareness, which helps people recognize tension spots in the body as well as conjure calming thoughts
        • pendulation, which guides people from a relaxed state to emotions similar to their traumatic experiences and then back to a relaxed state
        • titration, which guides people through a traumatic memory while noting any accompanying physical sensations and addressing them in real time
        • resourcing, which helps people recall resources in their lives that promote feelings of calm and safety, such as special people and places.
      • What to know if you're considering somatic therapy
        • Scant scientific research has focused on somatic therapy and its benefits, Baker notes. That's one reason why she always recommends cognitive behavioral therapy, which has proven benefits, as at least a starting point.
        • "Anecdotally, I've heard people do find tremendous benefit from somatic therapy, but it doesn't have the same research backing yet as CBT and some other forms of therapy," she says.
        • Health insurance may be more likely to cover somatic therapy, she says, when a person is dealing with extreme symptoms of mental trauma, such as seizures. Otherwise, insurers are more apt to cover established therapies such as CBT.
        • Additionally, finding an experienced somatic therapist can be challenging. "I think fewer folks are going to be trained in somatic therapies than CBT, so finding an experienced practitioner is definitely a tricky process," Baker says. One useful resource is the US Association for Body Psychotherapy, which offers a Find a Therapist search tool online.

• 14:00 -- "You wanna put a blanket under your butt -- do what you want, do as your body -- your body, your choice! [Pauses, in pigeon pose stretch] Here's a little thought experiment to keep you here. Imagine a lung that exists in your right hip. You have a third lung right on your right hip. What would it be like to breathe specifically into that lung? Maybe tap there. [Tapping her right hip] 'Hey lung!' In my imagination. Imaginary lung. 'How are you?' [Pauses, doing pigeon pose] Use an inhale as you're ready, come back up. Noticing how much the stretch changes, different angles, where does it go in your body?"
• 15:53 -- "My ankle wants some rolls for sure."
• 16:37 -- Black medical tape on Annie's left ankle and foot

  • 

• 17:07 -- "[doing pigeon pose] Are you breathing? And are you saying nice things? I know for me, hips and jaw start to clench, all of the like 'This is too tight, you're not-- doing this wrong, you don't do yoga enough' and I'm like '{unintelligible} what?' Is this helpful? What comes up if you do hip stretches?"
• Annie repeatedly does Child's Pose throughout the video.
• 23:22 -- "When you're ready, find whatever pose you want. Just a few breaths, and total stillness, aside from, you know, being alive, and all your ribs moving."
• 24:00 -- "[Lying flat on her back, legs outstreched] Maybe you're letting go of something, maybe you don't need to be gripping so tightly."

• 14:13 -- Blue medical tape on the inside of Annie's left leg is visible:

  • 

• 3:02 -- Black medical tape on Annie's left ankle and foot is visible:

  • 

• 3:57 -- "[Describing a yoga pose] Focus on two right angles. So rather than like, dumping in and falling forward, can you find the alignment with your hips facing the same direction, and can you engage your whole core? Your {unintelligible} through all the things? And then you're in a weird pose, so let's breathe, and let's bring the arms back in. And by 'let's' I mean -- it's me, here, all alone, doing yoga, 'Hey phone.'"
• 4:34 -- Another different view of the medical tape on Annie's left ankle and foot:

  • 

• It seems Annie was trying to use EMDR to heal her PTSD, which, as she claims, resulted from having flashbacks to and stronger memories the abuse, e.g. sexual abuse from Sam, that she was subjected to during her childhood.
• It seems her therapist rejected her as a client on the basis of her position as a sex worker.

• From [BI23a]:
  • "Altman's purchase of the Hawaii property has not been previously reported. BI linked the property to Altman by examining business and real-estate filings showing the land was owned by an LLC managed by Jennifer Serralta, whose name appears as a manager on paperwork for other businesses known to be owned by Altman. Serralta, who previously worked in the automotive industry, describes herself on LinkedIn as the chief operating officer of a family office — presumably Altman's — and is his cousin, according to an obituary for their grandmother. Reached by phone, Serralta declined to comment."
  • "In a March post on her personal blog, Serralta wrote that she stayed at a Kailua-Kona property owned by "a friend" while vacationing in Hawaii. Last year, Altman tweeted a photo of himself wakesurfing in Hawaii; the view of the Big Island in the background of the photo precisely matches the view from the Kailua-Kona compound. And in 2021, Altman registered a business, the Sam Altman Qualified Opportunity Fund, at an address adjacent to the property. (It's possible that Altman wanted to register the business to his address but made a mistake; the address he used differs from his own by just one digit and has been owned by the same person since 2007.)"
    • Note: Business Insider's statement seems accurate; see my analysis using Google Maps in [BI23a] in the References, and key excerpts from them [LW · GW] section of this post.
    • The Tweet that Sam posted:

      • 

  • "Altman has one family connection to Hawaii: His youngest sibling, Annie Altman, has lived on the islands on and off since 2017. Annie Altman, an artist and entertainer who has supported herself through in-person and virtual sex work, lives a much-different life from her brother's. Annie is teetering on financial insolvency, she told BI, after a lengthy stretch of illnesses. She has not spoken with her brother since 2021, when she refused his offer to buy her a home after learning that a lawyer would control the property, she said."
  • "She had been unaware that her oldest brother owned property in Hawaii until BI asked her about it, she said."

• Annie has stated: "There were other strings attached they made it feel like an unsafe place to actually heal from the experiences I had with him." [AA23g] "The offer was after a year and half no contact {with Sam}, and {I} had started speaking up {about Sam, and his abuse/misconduct} online. I had already started survival sex work. The offer was for the house to be connected with a lawyer, and the last time I had a Sam-lawyer connection I didn’t get to see my Dad’s will for a year." [AA23h]
• From [BB24d]:
  • Ellen Huet: "It's not a clean cut situation. In twenty twenty two, Sam offered to buy Annie a house, but she says it wasn't going to be in her name, and the conditions made her uncomfortable."
  • Annie Altman: "It became clear to me that it was not an offer for my house. It was an offer for a house of Sam's - or a lawyer of his - that I would be allowed to live in."

• 

• Image source: https://x.com/anniealtman108/status/1640418558927863808 [AA23f]

• "Aww you’re nervous I’m defending myself? Refusing to die with your secrets, refusing to allow you to harm more people? If only there was little sister with a bed you could uninvited crawl in, or sick 20-something sister you could withhold your dead dad’s money from, to cope." [AA23b]
• "This tweet endorsed to come out of my drafts by our Dad He also said it was “poor foresight” for you to believe I would off myself before ~justice is served~" [AA23e]

• "To spend time with Mr. Altman is to understand that Silicon Valley will push this technology forward even though it is not quite sure what the implications will be. At one point during our dinner in 2019, he paraphrased Robert Oppenheimer, the leader of the Manhattan Project, who believed the atomic bomb was an inevitability of scientific progress. “Technology happens because it is possible,” he said. (Mr. Altman pointed out that, as fate would have it, he and Oppenheimer share a birthday.)"
• ...
• "His longtime mentor, Paul Graham, founder of Y Combinator, explained Mr. Altman’s motivation like this:"
• "'Why is he working on something that won’t make him richer? One answer is that lots of people do that once they have enough money, which Sam probably does. The other is that he likes power.'"
• ...
• "In the late 1990s, the John Burroughs School, a private prep school named for the 19th-century American naturalist and philosopher, invited an independent consultant to observe and critique daily life on its campus in the suburbs of St. Louis."
• "The consultant’s review included one significant criticism: The student body was rife with homophobia."
• "In the early 2000s, Mr. Altman, a 17-year-old student at John Burroughs, set out to change the school’s culture, individually persuading teachers to post “Safe Space” signs on their classroom doors as a statement in support of gay students like him. He came out during his senior year and said the St. Louis of his teenage years was not an easy place to be gay."
• ...
• "'He has a natural ability to talk people into things,' Mr. Graham said. 'If it isn’t inborn, it was at least fully developed before he was 20. I first met Sam when he was 19, and I remember thinking at the time: ‘So this is what Bill Gates must have been like.''”
• "He {Sam} now says that during his short stay at Stanford, he learned more from the many nights he spent playing poker than he did from most of his other college activities. After his freshman year, he worked in the artificial intelligence and robotics lab overseen by Prof. Andrew Ng, who would go on to found the flagship A.I. lab at Google. But poker taught Mr. Altman how to read people and evaluate risk."
• "It showed him 'how to notice patterns in people over time, how to make decisions with very imperfect information, how to decide when it was worth pain, in a sense, to get more information,' he told me while strolling across his ranch in Napa. 'It’s a great game.'"
• ...
• "He also began working on several projects outside the investment firm, including OpenAI, which he founded as a nonprofit in 2015 alongside a group that included Elon Musk. By Mr. Altman’s own admission, YC grew increasingly concerned he was spreading himself too thin."
• ...
• "In the mid-2010s, Mr. Altman shared a three-bedroom, three-bath San Francisco apartment with his boyfriend at the time, his two brothers and their girlfriends. The brothers went their separate ways in 2016 but remained on a group chat, where they spent a lot of time giving one another guff, as only siblings can, his brother Max remembers. Then, one day, Mr. Altman sent a text saying he planned to raise $1 billion for his company’s research."
• ...
• "Mr. Brockman, OpenAI’s president, said Mr. Altman’s talent lies in understanding what people want. 'He really tries to find the thing that matters most to a person — and then figure out how to give it to them,' Mr. Brockman told me. 'That is the algorithm he uses over and over.'"

• From here on the Internet Archive (I just searched for the URL, "https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sam_Altman", in the WayBack Machine on the Internet Archive):

  • 

  • 

    • As of 14:50:52 (military time, I assume) on October 5, 2023: the Sam Altman Wikipedia article does not contain any details about Annie's allegations that Sam sexually abused her:

      • 

    • Then: As of 22:50:05, the Sam Altman Wikipedia article does contain details about Annie's allegations that Sam sexually abused her:

      • 

  • 

    • Then: As of 12:09:09 on October 6, 2023, the Sam Altman Wikipedia article DOES NOT contain details about Annie's allegations that Sam sexually abused her

      • 

• From the Revision history of the Sam Altman Wikipedia article:

  • 

    • It seems various people repeatedly tried to edit Sam's Wikipedia page to include details about Annie's allegations that Sam sexually abused her, but that, within literal minutes of each edit being made, Wikipedia users - primarily Wikipedia user "Panamitsu", among others - removed the edits.
    • It also seems that all information about what those edits actually were has also been removed.
      • That is -- from what I can tell, usually, when someone makes an edit to a Wikipedia article, you can go into the Revision history page for that Wikipedia article, and see what edits were made.
      • But with these edits, the links you could normally click on to see the edit details have been removed - they've got strikethroughs (i.e. like this) applied to them, and you can't click on them, and there's a note that says, "edit summary removed" next to all of them:

        • 

          • 

        • 

          • 

        • 

          • 

        • 

          • 

        • 

          • 

        • 

          • 

        • 

          • 

        • 

          • 

        • 

          • 

        • 

          • 

           

    • Wikipedia user "Panamitsu" (primarily), along with the other Wikipedia users who repeatedly removed the details, seem to have provided the following explanations for their removals:
      • "possible BLP issue or vandalism"
      • "Undid revision 1178799350 by 2A00:23EE:19D8:4A3:D9A4:325D:C151:C18F (talk) It is a WP:BLP violation. Twitter is not a reliable source and people make false accusations all the time"
      • "Undid revision 1178799655 by 2A00:23EE:1828:A9A0:E292:E724:64E0:FC4A (talk) vandalism"
      • "twitter isn't a reliable source for gossipsheet content.,, reverted"
      • "Take it to talk page, I don't think it should be here, it seems like a WP:BLP violation. I can't even verify if that is his siter"
        • {I think there is a typo here, i.e. I think "siter" was supposed to say "sister"}
      • "Protected "Sam Altman": Violations of the biographies of living persons policy: WP:EXTRAORDINARY WP:BURDEN ([Edit=Require autoconfirmed or confirmed access] (expires 01:26, 16 October 2023 (UTC)) [Move=Require autoconfirmed or confirmed access] (expires 01:26, 16 October 2023 (UTC)))"
  • The version history of the Sam Altman Wikipedia indicates that that the Wikipedia users who made the removals wanted people to "Take it to {the} talk page". That is, they instructed anyone who might want to add details about Annie's allegations to the Sam Altman Wikipedia article to first discuss their intent to do so on the Talk page of the Sam Altman Wikipedia article.

    • 

  • It seems that, on 01:26 on October 6, 2023, Wikipedia user "EI C" "protected" the Sam Altman Wikipedia article:

    • 

    • To be clear: I don't understand exactly what "Protected" means in this context. I don't know what Wikipedia user "EI C" did to make the article "Protected." (I'm not an expert in Wikipedia article revisions.) It seems that Wikipedia user "EI C" made it such that people couldn't add details about Annie's allegations unless they had "autoconfirmed or confirmed access". (I have no clue what that means either.) It also seems that this status was set to expire 10 days from the date & time it was instated (i.e. expire on 01;26, 16 October 2023.)
• October 9, 2023:
  • 09:08 on Oct 9, 2023 -- Wikipedia user "Allbirdy" edits the Sam Altman Wikipedia article, adding details about Annie's allegations:

    • 

    • 

  • Just 25 minutes later: 09:33  on Oct 9, 2023 -- Wikipedia user "Panamitsu", once again, removes these edits:

    • 

    • 

• November 20, 2023:
  • 08:36 on Nov 20, 2023 -- Wikipedia user "Rei" edits the Sam Altman Wikipedia article, adding details about Annie's allegations:

    • 

    • 

  • Just 14 minutes later: 08:50 on Nov 20, 2023 -- Wikipedia user "Panamitsu", once again, removes these edits:

    • 

    • 

  • 09:05 on Nov 20, 2023: Wikipedia user "Rei" re-makes their edit with the details about Annie's allegations, stating, "{My previous edit was} Very much NOT a BLP violation. Matches tone reqs, credits statements to specific individuals, cites secondary sources, etc. If you want to accuse a BLP violation, you need to cite the part of the BLP policy violated. Talk created."

    • 

    • 

  • Over the next hour (primarily), i.e. 09:05-10:50 -- "Rei" argues back and forth with other Wikipeditor editors about including their edits. Ultimately, Rei's edits are removed by Wikipedia editor "Isabelle Belato", with a note that says "Protected "Sam Altman": Edit warring / content dispute;WP:BLP issues. ([Edit=Require administrator access] (expires 10:30, 4 December 2023 (UTC)))"

    • 

• May 23, 2024: Wikipedia user "Somewordswrittendown" adds details about Annie's allegations of abuse, incorporating "guidelines across the various discussion pages that have opened up around this topic; namely, this doesn't source from twitter (stupid rule that needs to be updated) and only includes direct quotes from noted publications."

  • 

• https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=37790899
  • Post before it was flagged & removed: https://web.archive.org/web/20231006140717/https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=37790899
• https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=37785072
• https://x.com/JOSourcing/status/1710390512455401888

• Removal of Sam Altman from OpenAI - Wikipedia
• OpenAI: Facts from a Weekend - Zvi, LessWrong [LW · GW]
• Sam Altman’s Knack for Dodging Bullets—With a Little Help From Bigshot Friends - by Deepa Seetharaman, The Wall Street Journal
  • See [WSJ23b] for details.

• Starting at 5:02:
  • Trevor Noah: "{You're} a CEO who many people have termed, like, the 'Steve Jobs of this generation, and the future.' And - you don't say that about youself."
  • Sam Altman: "Certainly not."
  • Trevor Noah: "No, I think a lot of people say that about you, you know, because -- I mean, I was thinking about this, and I was going, 'I think calling you the Steve Jobs of this generation is unfair.' In my opinion, I think you're the Prometheus of this generation."
    • Note: my old username on X (formerly Twitter) and LessWrong was "prometheus5015." This LessWrong post was first published on October 7, 2023, two months before this podcast with Trevor Noah was published on Spotify.
  • Sam Altman [turning away]: "Wooouughh."
    • Note: as I've noted previously in these posts, it's a bit hard to describe/compress visual information like body language, tone, facial expressions, etc., purely into text. (Or, at least, I am not a good enough writer to do so.) I recommend watching 5:02 - 5:50 in the video yourself.
  • Trevor Noah: "No, you really are. You really are. It seems like to me, you have stolen fire from the gods --"
  • Sam Altman: [laughs]
  • Trevor Noah: "--and you are the forefront of this movement, and this time, that we are now living through. Where once AI was only the stuff of sci-fi and legend. You know, you are now the face - at the forefront - of what could change civilization forever."

The reason I note on this is because it increases my probability (which is already quite high) that Sam Altman is aware of & has read this post. As I mentioned above, my old username on X (formerly Twitter) and LessWrong, at the time that this podcast with Trevor Noah was first published (on December 7, 2023, on Spotify), was "prometheus5015."

• Starting at 32:28:
  • Sam: "AGI and my family are the two main things I care about, so losing one of those is like...so yeah I mean it was just like unbelievably painful. The only comparable set of life experience that I had, and that one was of course much worse, was when my dad died. And that was like a very sudden thing. But the sense of like confusion and loss...in that case, I felt like I had a little bit of time to just like feel it all. But then there was so much to do. Like it was like so unexpected that I had to pick up the pieces of his life for a little while. And it wasn't until, like, a week after that I really got a moment to just, like, catch my breath and be like, holy shit, like, I can't believe this happened. So yeah, that was much worse."

• "Altman’s firing and swift reversal of fortune followed a pattern in his career, which began when he dropped out of Stanford University in 2005 and gained the reputation as a Silicon Valley visionary. Over the past two decades, Altman has lost the confidence of several top leaders in the three organizations he has directed. At every crisis point, Altman, 38 years old, not only rebounded but climbed to more powerful roles with the help of an expanding network of powerful allies."
• "A group of senior employees at Altman’s first startup, Loopt—a location-based social-media network started in the flip-phone era—twice urged board members to fire him as CEO over what they described as deceptive and chaotic behavior, said people familiar with the matter. But the board, with support from investors at venture-capital firm Sequoia, kept Altman until Loopt was sold in 2012."
• "In 2019, Altman was asked to resign from Y Combinator after partners alleged he had put personal projects, including OpenAI, ahead of his duties as president, said people familiar with the matter."
• "This fall, Altman also faced a crisis of trust at OpenAI, the company he navigated to the front of the artificial-intelligence field. In early October {2023}, OpenAI’s chief scientist {Ilya Sutskever} approached some fellow board members to recommend Altman be fired, citing roughly 20 examples of when he believed Altman misled OpenAI executives over the years. That set off weeks of closed-door talks, ending with Altman’s surprise ouster days before Thanksgiving."
• "This article is based on interviews with dozens of executives, engineers, current and former employees and friends of Altman’s, as well as investors."
• "A few years after {Loopt's} launch, some Loopt executives voiced frustration with Altman’s management. There were complaints about Altman pursuing side projects, at one point diverting engineers to work on a gay dating app, which they felt came at the expense of the company’s main work."
• "Senior executives approached the board with concerns that Altman at times failed to tell the truth—sometimes about matters so insignificant one person described them as paper cuts. At one point, they threatened to leave the company if he wasn’t removed as CEO, according to people familiar with the matter. The board backed Altman."
• "“If he imagines something to be true, it sort of becomes true in his head,” said Mark Jacobstein, co-founder of Jimini Health who served as Loopt’s chief operating officer. “That is an extraordinary trait for entrepreneurs who want to do super ambitious things. It may or may not lead one to stretch, and that can make people uncomfortable.”"
• "Altman doesn’t recall employee complaints beyond the normal annual CEO review process, according to people familiar with his thinking."
• "Michael Moritz, who led Sequoia, personally advised Altman. When Loopt struggled to find buyers, Moritz helped engineer an acquisition by another Sequoia-backed company, the financial technology firm Green Dot."
• "Altman turned Y Combinator into an investing powerhouse. While serving as the president, he kept his own venture-capital firm, Hydrazine, which he launched in 2012. He caused tensions after barring other partners at Y Combinator from running their own funds, including the current chief executive, Garry Tan, and Reddit co-founder Alexis Ohanian. Tan and Ohanian didn’t respond to requests for comment."
• "Altman also expanded Y Combinator through a nonprofit he created called YC Research, which served as an incubator for Altman’s own projects, including OpenAI. From its founding in 2015, YC Research operated without the involvement of the firm’s longtime partners, fueling their concern that Altman was straying too far from running the firm’s core business."
• "By early 2018, Altman was barely present at Y Combinator’s headquarters in Mountain View, Calif., spending more time at OpenAI, at the time a small research nonprofit, according to people familiar with the matter."
• "The increasing amount of time Altman spent at OpenAI riled longtime partners at Y Combinator, who began losing faith in him as a leader. The firm’s leaders asked him to resign, and he left as president in March 2019."
• "Graham said it was his wife’s doing. “If anyone ‘fired’ Sam, it was Jessica, not me,” he said. “But it would be wrong to use the word ‘fired’ because he agreed immediately.”
• "Jessica Livingston said her husband was correct."
• "To smooth his exit, Altman proposed he move from president to chairman. He pre-emptively published a blog post on the firm’s website announcing the change. But the firm’s partnership had never agreed, and the announcement was later scrubbed from the post."
• "For years, even some of Altman’s closest associates—including Peter Thiel, Altman’s first backer for Hydrazine—didn’t know the circumstances behind Altman’s departure."
• "As the company grew, management complaints about Altman surfaced."
• "In early fall this year, Sutskever, also a board member, was upset because Altman had elevated another AI researcher, Jakub Pachocki, to director of research, according to people familiar with the matter."
• "Sutskever told his board colleagues that the episode reflected a long-running pattern of Altman’s tendency to pit employees against one another or promise resources and responsibilities to two different executives at the same time, yielding conflicts, according to people familiar with the matter."
• "Other board members already had concerns about Altman’s management. Tasha McCauley, an adjunct senior management scientist at Rand Corp., tried to cultivate relationships with employees as a board member. Past board members chatted regularly with OpenAI executives without informing Altman. Yet during the pandemic, Altman told McCauley he needed to be told if the board spoke to employees, a request that some on the board viewed as Altman limiting the board’s power, people familiar with the matter said."
• "Around the time Sutskever aired his complaints, the independent board members heard similar concerns from some senior OpenAI executives, people familiar with the discussions said. Some considered leaving the company over Altman’s leadership, the people said."
• "Altman also misled board members, leaving the impression with one board member that another wanted board member Helen Toner removed, even though it wasn’t true, according to people familiar with the matter, The Wall Street Journal reported."
• "Altman also misled board members, leaving the impression with one board member that another wanted board member Helen Toner removed, even though it wasn’t true, according to people familiar with the matter, The Wall Street Journal reported."

• Note: in the link I provided, there's a transcript. The transcript has this feature where it highlights the current word being spoken, with the idea being that you can "follow along" reading the transcript while you're listening to the podcast. Unfortunately, the feature is broken. I think this is due to the inclusion of some ads/commercials at various points throughout the podcast, which create a mismatch between the transcript and the audio.) Specifically, the word highlighted in the transcript is usually a few minutes later than the actual audio.
  • Example from OpenAI Part 1: The Most Silicon Valley Man Alive:

  • 

• Ellen Huet (host of the podcast): "Today, we're going to start on a drive in Hawaii."
• Annie Altman: "We're on north Shore, going deeper into the jungle on the north shore, so we're passing twin falls right now.
• Ellen Huet: "I'm driving through the lush green forests of Maui. Annie Altman, Sam Altman's little sister is sitting in the passenger seat. You heard from her briefly in the first episode."
• ...
• Ellen Huet: "We're taking a tour of the different places Annie has moved around in the last couple of years, driving down dirt roads to look at cabins and houses hidden behind enormous tropical plants."
• ..,
• Ellen Huet: "For much of the past two years, Annie hasn't been able to afford a stable place to live."
• Annie Altman: "The place you just passed is one of the places I stayed at longer-term in all of the houselessness...{I spent} two months on a newly-built, {with} no running water or no electricity, house, at the far end, back, of the property."
• Ellen Huet: "And I think she's an important part of Sam's story."
• Annie Altman: "And at the time I had nowhere to stay and no rent money, certainly no deposit money, and barely enough room, barely enough money for rent."
• Ellen Huet: "Recently, over the course of just a year, she moved twenty two times, and that's on average about twice a month. Sometimes she has stayed places for a week at a time, or even just a night or two. Some of them have been illegal rentals without running water. She says she's slept on floors and friends' houses. She stayed with strangers when she didn't have another option."
• ...
• Annie Altman: "The man who lived in the front house messaged me on Instagram, and I stayed in his kids' room the week that they weren't there, and then slept on the floor in the common room the week that the kids were there.
• Annie Altman: "I was houseless. I didn't have somewhere to go."
• Annie Altman: "I stayed in this cabin with the slanty roof right there for three months."
• {A podcast host}: "How many different places have you lived in that didn't have running water?"
• Annie: "Maybe five-ish? Five or six? I don't know."
• Ellen Huet: "Meanwhile, thousands of miles away in San Francisco, her brother Sam was having a spectacular year in 2023. The success of ChatGPT had launched OpenAI into the stratosphere. Sam was named CEO of the Year by Time magazine. He spent months flying around the globe talking to world leaders about AI."
• ...
• Ellen Huet: "On stage, on podcasts and interviews, people kept turning to Sam for answers. They were asking him what our AI future would hold. In May of that year, he confidently suggested a future where no one is poor. It's an idea he's talked about for years, and the remarks show that his tune hasn't changed despite growing renown and wealth.
• Sam Altman: "One thing I think we all could agree on is that we just shouldn't have poverty in the world."
• ...
• Ellen Huet: "It sounds wonderful, almost utopian. But Sam was saying on stage that everyone should have enough money, enough food, everyone should have a place to live, while his own sister was struggling with homelessness. I want to believe Sam's promises about abundance, but Annie's story complicates a lot of the things Sam has projected about the future."
• ...
• Ellen Huet: "Sam is a savvy guy. As his profile has gotten bigger after he helped build the world's leading AI company, he has stopped saying things like AI will kill us all. Instead, he talks about how society will be profoundly changed, but overall it will be for the better. Since his newfound chat GPT fame, he has shifted toward presenting himself and by extension, open AI, as more middle of the road. Sam is allowed to change his views, but people have also so complain to me in private that Sam has a tendency to talk out of both sides of his mouth. He's good at telling people what they want to hear in that moment, so it's not surprising that if it's advantageous for him to seem more moderate, that he would start to sound that way."

• Ellen Huet: "What really strikes me is that Sam positions himself as the visionary behind this AI that might put us all out of work, and the visionary behind systems that will save us from that chaos. He's offering fixes to the problems that his own technology will create. Imagine a future where Sam Altman's company has invented AI so powerful that it upends the entire labor economy. We no longer work for money. Instead, we get monthly checks from Sam Altman's income distribution system. I can imagine that his intentions might be good, and that he wants to make a difference here. But what Sam's proposing is ending poverty through systems overseen by him, basically, and that's asking us to put a huge amount of trust in him. Remember, Sam is really good at gaining power. He has a deep drive to be in charge. His company has made promises about adhering to certain principles and then moved away from them. It brings me back to this question we asked in episode one, what I think is the key question of this series. Should we trust this person?"
• Ellen Huet: "Like we said earlier, there's a part of Sam's life that really complicates this image of him. It's the story of his little sister Annie. She says she lives in poverty. Sometimes she struggles with homelessness. She says she survives by doing sex work. Sam is pitching this dream future in which universal basic income will protect everyone who needs it. That sounds lovely in theory, but when it's held up next to Annie's messy, everyday reality, that promise starts to sound a bit hollow. Housing insecurity has defined Annie's life for the past few years. This is a complex and sensitive situation, so I wanted to hear from her myself."
• Annie Altman: "In my experience, it's not only hard to do anything when you are housing insecure, it is impossible. I haven't had a typical day in four years because of how much energy both physically like looking for places or doing things, or looking for jobs and emotionally goes into housing insecurity. It has been the single biggest energy output of my past year."
• Ellen Huet: "In person, Annie is upbeat and smiley. She has good suggestions for health food stores on Maui. She has the word love tattooed across her knuckles. She makes a podcast, Hello and Welcome to the Annie Altman Show All Humans or Human Podcast, and posts videos of her singing on YouTube."
• ...
• Ellen Huet: "Sometimes, I and to better understand her story, I want to rewind to her childhood. When we heard from Annie briefly in the first episode, she talked about Sam's domineering attitude within their family, how he dictated they wouldn't have Christmas trees and put himself in charge of how long each sibling could speak at their dad's funeral. Their family has three boys. Sam's the oldest, then Max, then Jack. Annie is the youngest, nine years younger than Sam and the only girl. Her brothers loved science, math, games, nerdy stuff. She was always the artistic, sensitive one. Even when they were children, she sometimes felt like the odd one out, and as they became adults, the bonds between the brothers tightened both personally and professionally. While Sam was running YC, Jack founded a software company that was funded by YC. Jack and Max also both worked with Sam, helping run his investment fund with money from Peter Teel. Then all three started another investment fund together in which they used Sam's personal wealth. The three brothers lived together in San Francisco, brothers, coworkers, roommates, a tight, messy knot of family, business and money. Annie, on the other hand, was not part of the Altman family brand. With each new step in her life, she seemed to veer farther away from the path she felt was expected of her. She completed pre med requirements, but decided not to pursue that further. She did improv classes, stand up comedy, yoga, teacher training. She said her dad was supportive of this turn away from a more traditional path. Her mom, who was a physician, was less excited."
• Annie Altman: "My siblings and mother were very judgmental about the shift and also very "This is just a phase." I was an am at total daddy's girl. With my mother, there was closeness only when I was doing what she wanted me to do, which is a story {that} sadly, I feel like a lot of people can relate to."
• Ellen Huet: "Just a note. We reached out to Sam, his siblings, and his mom for comment in this episode. His mom, Connie Gibstine, responded with this statement:"
• Connie Gibstine: "We love Annie and are very concerned about her well being. Over the years, we have offered her financial support and help and continue to offer it today. Navigating the balance between providing support without enabling self-destructive behavior for a family member with mental health struggles is extraordinarily difficult. We only want the best for Annie and hope everyone will treat her with compassion."
• Ellen Huet: "In 2018, Annie's father died suddenly of a heart attack, and the grief hit her {Annie} hard. Meanwhile, she also started dealing with some chronic health issues, including tendonitis in her ankle that made it difficult to do work that required standing. She quit her job. She was still mourning her dad. She had gotten some life insurance money after he died, but when that ran out a year later, she still found herself in a desperate financial situation. In order to pay rent, she started selling her furniture. She says she asked her family directly for money to pay rent and cover groceries."
• Annie Altman: "I asked my mother for help and she said no, And then {I} asked Sam and he was told to say no because of her {Connie} wanting him to say no, and he's a grown man in his thirties, {worth} millions of dollars."
• Ellen Huet: "Now, Sam and his family have given Annie money at times, but she says it always came with heavy conditions that made her nervous. At one point, Sam wanted her to get back on Zoloft, an antidepressant, which she had started as a teen but had stopped later on. She {Annie} forwarded me an email from Sam where he asked her to share her bank statements and to allow him and his mom to sit in on some of her therapy sessions in exchange for her rent and medical expenses being covered. She felt like it was his way of exerting leverage or power over her. Of course, Sam can spend his money as he pleases, but again, he's on stage espousing the virtues of universal basic income -- giving money away for free, unconditionally, -- and Annie says he didn't do the same here for her. There were times when I'd gone back and forth about what to include from Annie's story. It's a very personal, messy family situation, and I'll confess that on occasion I've doubted some unrelated things she's told me. But also, I've looked through corroborating emails and documents. We drove to a lot of places Annie lived, and I met people she lived with. So in late 2019, when she asked for help and says she was told no, she turned to something she considered a last resort. To make money, she started sex work. She made an account on a sugar daddy dating website where people trade money for companionship and often sex."
• Annie: "I was just...I was in a desperate place. I mean...people who have been in a position like this ever know that when you're in a place of selling furniture, you're in a desperate position of "I'm out options." This is a 'plan Z' I would not be doing this if plans 'A' through 'I' had worked out in any capacity."
• Ellen Huet: "The first thing she tried was video chatting with a middle-aged man. She flashed him on camera and he sent her money over Zelle. She posted videos on OnlyFans and PornHub. She also did in-person sex work for two years. She says she didn't want to, but it was the work that she was able to fit into her unpredictable schedule of dealing with her health issues. Her lack of stable income, led to a long period of housing insecurity. At times, she lived with sex work clients, or even with strangers from the internet. Her sex work contributed to her precarious housing. She didn't have pay stubs or regular income, which limited the kind of leases she could get. It felt like this interconnected web, exactly the kind of vicious cycle that something like universal basic income tries to break."
• Annie Altman: "If I had a security deposit in my bank account - {I} never would have lived with this man, not, not even a little bit of a chance, would I have lived with this man. There's some unhealthy sex work experiences, and I've also had very traumatizing experiences from in-person work that would not have happened if I had secure housing. I'm still in and, have been so long in, survival mode that it really shifts everything. It really shifts everything. Times when it's been really like...places...like staying just for a week and a half {somewhere} and then the floor for a week, and then someone's place for a night, and then a floor for a week - in those places of really moving that much in a short period of time, there's no - I had no energy for anything else. Really feeling a sense of helplessness and powerlessness that I have never experienced, ever."
• Ellen Huet: "It's not a clean cut situation. In twenty twenty two, Sam offered to buy Annie a house, but she says it wasn't going to be in her name, and the conditions made her uncomfortable."
• Annie Altman: "It became clear to me that it was not an offer for my house. It was an offer for a house of Sam's - or a lawyer of his - that I would be allowed to live in."
• Ellen Huet: "She felt like it was a throwback to Sam's attempts to get her on Zoloft and to peer into her bank statements, so she said no. I do want to pause on this because I know it may sound illogical. After all, it would have been a place to live. But from her point of view, Sam had exerted control over her throughout their lives, and this seemed like one more attempt to control her. During those conversations, she was clear with Sam about the hardships she had endured in the past couple of years."
• Annie Altman: "I told him over the series of those phone calls too, that I had started sex work, and distinctly remember when I first told him about doing sex work and he said, quote, 'Good.'"
• Ellen Huet: "Annie was stung, because she remembers that he didn't ask anything more about it. Like she was sharing something that was painful for her and he was blowing past it."
• Annie Altman: "To hear your little sister tell you she's doing something she doesn't want to do related to sex, and for the response to be 'Good.' So I was like, 'Oh, you're glad that I'm starting to post on OnlyFans. It sounds 'good' to you because I'm supporting myself, even if I'm telling you I'm doing this as a plan Z because I don't know what else to do.'"
• Ellen Huet: "A person close to Sam says that Sam remembers the conversation differently. Annie and Sam are mostly estranged. After that conversation, she kept living in Hawaii, struggling in obscurity. Meanwhile, Sam was ascendant. He was doing world tours. {He was} CEO of the year {in Time Magazine.} He officially became a billionaire. Most of the world had no idea Annie Altman existed, let alone that she was depending on OnlyFans for survival. But last fall, New York Magazine published a profile of Sam, and the journalist, Elizabeth Weil, interviewed Annie. The article was the first time a lot of people found out Sam even had a sister, myself included."
• Annie Altman: "Some of the trippiest messages I got from reporters, when that article first came out, were reporters who have watched every interview Sam has ever done, saying 'He's never mentioned a sister.'"
• Ellen Huet: "Annie worries that because she's basically invisible in Sam's public life life, especially compared to his tight relationship with his brothers, reporters won't take her story seriously."
• Annie Altman: "That they will then question my validity, or {be like} 'Oh, well, she's crazy. Maybe...he's just not talking about her because she's so mentally unstable, and so now let's recycle the 'Annie's crazy' narrative and 'This is why she can't be trusted', or 'We should just ignore her.'"
• Ellen Huet: "In the days leading up to the article coming out, New York Magazine reached out to Sam and his family and OpenAI for fact-checking and to confirm details. So Sam knew the story was going to mention Annie. And then the day before the article ran, something spurred Sam to make an unexpected move. He emailed Annie."
• Annie Altman: "And the night before it {the Elizabeth Weil article} came out was Yom Kippur --
• Ellen Huet: "-- the Jewish day of forgiveness --"
• Annie Altman: "Sam emailed me, 'no subject' and in all lowercase, and said, 'hi annie. in the spirit of it almost being yom kippur, i wanted to apologize and ask for forgiveness for something. i should have kept sending you money without conditions even though our family had concerns; i was in a tough position of wanting to let mom drive decisions as the parent and seeing how much stress you were causing her (and also agreeing it would be better for everyone if you were  able to support yourself, and thinking that you needed medical help) and it being clear you just weren't really able to function very well. still, i made the wrong call and should just have just kept supporting you; i sincerely apologize. i hope you find peace.' There's no mention of this article that's coming out tomorrow, and there's no mention of the fact checking that he just went through."
• Ellen Huet: "Annie felt that the timing of this email was really telling. That for all this time, while Annie was staying in the background, Sam didn't feel any need to apologize. Then, just as she's about to exert a little bit of power over him, by complicating his image, he reaches out, and invokes their shared Jewish heritage to ask for forgiveness. I asked Annie how she felt about Sam speaking publicly about universal basic income and ending poverty when he hasn't done the same for her."
• Annie Altman: "It was a very big slap in the face. It feels embarrassing to be related to him. It's beyond depressing and heartbreaking and disappointing that someone who I thought had a different moral compass, or who I thought would be there for me when I needed someone and was really sick, wasn't...in the same way I'm gonna be grieving my dad for the rest of my life, I'm gonna be grieving Sam for the rest of my life. And the sadness of...of someone who saw me in a walking boot and didn't say, 'How can I help you.' It's why I use the term 'sibling' and not 'brother.'"
• Ellen Huet: "Even though Annie's story is really complicated, I think it's relevant to all of us. Because when Sam is going around talking about our AI future, he acknowledges that AI could take our jobs and upend society and money as we know it. And he says he'll come up with a solution for us: universal basic income. But, when he's faced with the messy reality of his own sister, suddenly it's not so simple. In public, he is literally saying that there shouldn't be poverty. {That} money will be given away to everyone. In private, when Annie asked for help, he didn't come through for her in the way she needed."

• https://www.courtlistener.com/docket/69520118/altman-v-altman/
  • See especially the 6-page legal complaint, filed on January 6, 2025, which provides Annie's reasons for filling the lawsuit, and details about the sexual abuse Annie alleges she experienced from Sam -- https://www.courtlistener.com/docket/69520118/1/altman-v-altman/
• Alternate/backup links:
  • https://storage.courtlistener.com/recap/gov.uscourts.moed.217171/gov.uscourts.moed.217171.1.0_1.pdf
    • Alternate link (to the same legal document): https://ia600609.us.archive.org/8/items/gov.uscourts.moed.217171/gov.uscourts.moed.217171.1.0.pdf
  • https://www.pacermonitor.com/public/case/56412238/Altman_v_Altman
  • https://www.courtlistener.com/docket/69520118/1/altman-v-altman/

• See:
  • https://x.com/sama/status/1876780763653263770
  • https://x.com/sama/status/1876867051215585542