you should probably eat oatmeal sometimes

Not wishing to be rude but this feels like it's missing a section on the benefits of eating oatmeal sometimes.

There's a favourable comparison to the protein/fibre/arsenic content of white rice, but I don't eat a lot of white rice so I am left unclear on the motivation for substituting something I do eat with oatmeal.

I'm the current owner of the Oatmeal subreddit; that's how you can be sure I'm a Real Expert.

I recently discovered that I like peas porridge. You can apparently just put the split peas in water in an insta-pot and if you cook them enough they disintegrate. Unlike beans or potatoes, you don't have to mash them to get a homogeneous food. The resulting soup firms up nicely when refrigerated, and you can sweeten or spice the "pudding" depending on your preference.

Winco carries dry split green peas for $0.86/lb. Walmart offers price parity to that in 8lb bags. The commodity index price is $0.15/lb, so I think something is up with the supply chain and recursive markups because that's almost a 600% markup (contrast the allegedly typical 1-2% grocery store markup). In any case, dry peas are 20% protein, so the protein powder equivalent would be $4.30/lb. (I have yet to see protein powder at anything close to this price.)

Oats are 13% protein but slightly cheaper than peas, so they have a similar protein to dollar value ratio. They have a different amino acid profile, so you can mix or alternate between the two to get complete protein.

However, both oats and peas contain significant amounts of phytic acid which can prevent the absorption of various minerals (iron, zinc, magnesium, calcium) during the same meal. The trick here might be to cook no higher than 90°C (the lowest setting of the insta-pot should suffice) to avoid denaturing phytase enzymes prematurely while giving them time to work. Rye is relatively high in phytase, oats relatively low, so adding a handful of rye might be ideal (or wheat berries).

Alternatively, you could obtain phytase from a feed store (typically added to chicken and swine feeds). Phytases intended for animal feeds tend to be thermostable up to 120°C so you would not have to be as careful with the cooking temperature.

As a frequent oatmeal-eater, I have a few miscellaneous comments:

• You mentioned adding fruit paste, fruit syrup, and fruit pulp to oatmeal, but I'm surprised you didn't mention what I consider the best option: whole fruit. I usually use blueberries but sometimes I mix it up with blackberries or sliced bananas.
• I buy one-minute oats. You don't actually need them to cook them for a minute, you can just pour boiling water onto them and they'll soften up by the time they're cool enough to eat.
• I wouldn't eat oats for the protein, they have more than rice but still not very much. I mix 80g (1 cup) of oatmeal with 25g of soy protein powder, which brings the protein up from 10g to 30g.
• I don't get the appeal of overnight oats. I have to microwave it anyway to get it to a reasonable temperature, and it tends to stick to the jar which greatly increases cleanup time. (I think the stickiness comes more from the protein powder than the oats.)

I eat quick oats by just dumping cold milk on them.

Related: millet seems nutritionally superior to rice and is cooked the same way and had similar texture. Rice and lentils are very popular, but millet and lentils are also widely eaten in some areas and appears much better. Chatgpt suggests that millet, lentils, quinoa, peas, and carrots would be a nutritional powerhouse, covering each other's weaknesses. Might be some tricky bits with different cook times.

We soak whole rolled oats overnight in kefir and eat with nuts, seed and fruit for breakfast. It's my wife's favourite meal and I miss it if travelling. I do wonder about the effect of the acidic kefir on the oats. I wouldnt expect it reduce phytic acid, but I would expect breakdown of fructans and other carbohydrates into more digestable forms. That said, I really dont care much unless it's killing me. It is just a great way to start the day and gets me through to lunch without getting hungry. The slight fag is making kefir every 4th night - getting the kefir grains to scale production for more than that is problematic. 

Also worth trying: Replace the water/milk with coffee. I first tried this while camping (to avoid having to boil additional water), and I found it surprisingly good.

Chutney on oatmeal is actually really delicious. If you need a recommendation, I will put forward the chutney of the recipe of Mrs H.S.Ball.

Sadly I haven't come across chutney without added sugar. I feel like it should be possible. I've made some attempts, they were just okay, I've not been drawn back to it.

One of the New Zealand foods that I think are actually pretty special is Harroway's Oats. They taste significantly better than normal oats, ie, they have a taste, and it's good! It's described as nutty. They cost twice as much but that's still extremely cheap per joule.

we serve oatmeal every breakfast where i live 
love oatmeal

My diet is heavily, heavily oatmeal (out of laziness). Like on most days I just eat oatmeal + peanut butter + walnuts microwaved in water until I get home (and I do ~45 minutes of HIIT or strength training every morning so it's not like I have a very low BMR). Maybe I should track my exact diet and bloodwork over time and report it here.

Most people's experience with oatmeal has been from one of:

• packets of instant oatmeal that have low-quality cheap flavoring and might have gone stale
• quick-cooking rolled oats without any flavoring

Those are my only experiences with oats, but I like both of those experiences. I love instant oatmeal, and I love quick oats boiled on the stove, though of course in the latter case I have to supply my own flavouring. Even just sugar is enough to make it great. But adding raisins takes it to another level; especially adding them while the oats are still boiling so that they rehydrate a little. Dried cranberries are also great. Sometimes I like to add some apple juice to the pot while the oats are boiling. This narrow range of possibilities is already plenty of variety for my narrow palate; and if I'm already making oatmeal, those additions are basically zero added effort. If I didn't have crippling executive dysfunction, I'd eat quick oats much more often than I actually do. (Unfortunately, the activation energy required to make anything on the stove is more than I usually reach; and I find the microwave to be a poor substitute, not to mention that it doesn't even solve the part that I find aversive, which is measuring out the oats and water. Also, raisins and dried cranberries are expensive.)

Recipe Recommendation: I freeze these in small containers. When done right, it’s breakfast for an entire month. Just take one out of the freezer and put in the fridge every morning. That way you’ll always have an unfrozen one.

• Rolled oats (bulk) Some come with fruit chunks
• Clusters of crunchy whatever
• Blue Berries
• Raspberries
• Banana
• Coca powder (a little)
• Peanut Butter (a lot)
• Apple juice (maybe 1inch max)
• cover with soy milk (Oestrogen thing isn’t true. It’s plant oestrogen. Cows milk has animal oestrogen)
• Sprinkle cinnamon

Freeze Highly recommended. Takes a while to prep 30 of them. But makes life pretty damn good.

Interesting how all the toppings you mentioned are sweet. I had a revelation the other day. It's possible to have savoury oats, it's just a cultural norm that we eat oats as sweet. This way you can substitute rice completely 1:1. Just cook the oats, rolled or steel cut, and then add salt. Super easy.

I used to eat overnight oats everyday (rolled oats + milk in the fridge, left overnight) but now I can't stand the texture. Hot oatmeal is too mushy for my liking. I haven't found a recipe online that doesn't involve a) oats + heated water or b) oats + liquid overnight or c) lots of sugar (aka granola). Do you have any oatmeal recipe/suggestions?

This post is satire but I am still wondering if the comments are genuine, AI generated or playing along with OP

My problem with oatmeal is that I seem to very quickly go back to being hungry after eating it (I guess I could just go with MORE DAKKA OATMEAL but I don't want to consume an enormous amount). I haven't actually measured this but my intuitive sense is that once I've had a normal or even large-ish portion of oatmeal, I'll be hungry in about two hours again.