My Fear Heuristic

This post would be strongly improved by 3 examples of decisions you made differently due to this heuristic.

I also had this heuristic for a while. It helped me a lot and gave me a lot of growth. However, it also made me make some bad social moves that didnt turn out well for me.

Eventually I stopped using this heuristic, and instead started viewing things that I feared as things to process and integrate instead of face.

How do you make the difference between something you fear and something you suspect will be detrimental? Like, say, befriending someone who freaks you out, or entering a shady scheme?

I'm exploring a practice of what I'll call "peer preview," trying to assess the value a post provides to its audience, what other valuable projects could emerge from it, and how it might be viewed a year from now.

There's a lot of advice and vivid descriptions of anxiety out there, and the benefits of overcoming it. But it's rare to get a quantitative perspective like this. The documentation seems like a lightweight technique with real potential benefits. I wonder if it's a common prescription.

It makes me wonder how many people who don't perceive themselves as neurotically timid or anxious have actually just managed to shield themselves from ever encountering anxious triggers. I can think of several things that seem anxiety-provoking, that might be a happy addition to my life, and which don't actually cause me anxiety because I so thoroughly avoid them. I can also see how a tacit part of many relationships is identifying what makes each other anxious, and securing tacit agreements that you will avoid those anxious triggers forever.

I'd be interested in writing about relationships that delves into the nuances of how to cultivate friendships and romantic relationships in which there's a conscious mutual understanding of that "anxiety avoidance" dynamic, and an explicit agreement to find ways to shift into a "do what scares us" paradigm.

Note: In response to feedback, I'm removing a portion of this comment that might not be constructive.

I find your logic quite valuable. Months after the first time I read it, it still amazes me. And I have seen other people saying different things that had the same underlying logic. ** Choosing the harder/scarier option has better outcomes. ** Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I am trying to incorporate this idea into my life and choices. I hope I can inform you of my results. And I also would like to ask for your permission to translate and publish this post on my blog. It is going to be translated into Persian/Farsi. My blog is completely non-profit. No ads, no paid content. Just for fun and learning. I have already shared the link to your post in my blog. But I know many Iranians (my readers) can't read English. It would be an honor if you let me do it. If you don't give me your permission, I respect your choice and won't use your content. I would just keep quoting you and referring to this post.