Luminosity (Twilight fanfic) Part 2 Discussion Thread

I want to register amusement that "Methods of Rationality" contains a Bella and "Luminosity" contains a Harry.

Well, with the story over, I've just got to say - I'm massively impressed.

It actually encouraged me to read your sequence(far more than MoR) simply because of how insanely productive you were. Eliezer has an exceptional update schedule, but you're like a machine. Post-singularity.

What surprised me the most was, perhaps, that the story forced me to take sparkly vampires seriously. Previously, I had an instinctive /facepalm reaction to them, whereas now I've got to admit, that a more skilled writer than Meyer can certainly make it work.

All in all, there's only two things left to say: Thumbs Up and I Need My Luminosity Fix Plx!!!111oneoenoe

I just wanted to say that Chapter 55 made me go from "the luminosity fic is good" to "omg I need to get people to read the luminosity fic!".

One rule for emotionally compelling stories is "make a character you love and then torture them" and Alicorn has done that very very well. At this point I don't know if the story can have any kind of happy ending, but the story has transitioned from one where the default happy ending can pretty much be assumed (because most stories have so much wish fulfillment), to one of the rare stories where implacable reality is described by the author in the way you would expect an implacable reality to work.

And I love the way it is the "rationalist character" who, in retrospect, was sort of "blithely rational" who got hurt. This is a lesson that is meaningful for me, helping me to emotionally internalize the real risks of experimenting with one's life, rather than a lesson that I can imagine is meaningful for normal Harry Potter fanfic readers. When the pack was expanding and things were clearly getting out of control I had a bad feeling and wanted to warn Bella, but I didn't really expect negative outcomes.

Thank you, Alicorn, for writing this.

Ok, I know I'm late to the party, but I feel the need to comment about the Norway chapters. First a minor nitpick: You would not need to learn Norwegian to interact with people working in an international airport, nor indeed with people working on a remote farm in the uplands. (Although it is, of course, courteous to do so.)

Second point: Wolves? In the vicinity of Bergen? Ah... no. Not at all. Norway is not very densely settled by European standards, but come on; it's not the Canadian outback. There are something like 150 wolves in the whole of Scandinavia, mainly around the Swedish border and up north. The Norwegian wolf population is about 20-30 individuals and they're all in the eastern part of the country. And what's more, it's an endangered species. Where does Bella get off killing one?

Hi, Alicorn, just wanted to say that the ideas from your fanfic and the related sequence have noticeably helped me in real life. I'm not fully implementing them or I wouldn't be spending my Saturday screwing around online, but I definitely feel empowered and optimistic, which is an unfamiliar situation. Applying these patterns of thinking at any time has proven to improve my life and my effectiveness. That is pretty cool for someone addicted to instant gratification.

Luminosity seems very related to mindfulness; it requires intentional control of one's attention in much the same way as meditation. I'm probably in better mental health than I usually am, since I can control my attention, but adding in your other strategies has allowed me to identify factors that help or inhibit my control.

So, uhh, thanks.

I'm starting the sequel, and mostly wanted to say thank-you to Alicorn for writing this: I think Radiance has the potential to be even more interesting than Luminosity, mostly because it's almost entirely original. Also, Elspeth is really very likable, which is very important for this story to "work."

I would echo the comments of the reader who wrote earlier that the story seems to lack much in the way of sensory description. Since we're seeing through Elspeth's eyes, I wish we got a lot more of how things look, feel, taste, sound to her. For instance, I was wondering through the end of Chapter 2 and most of Chapter 3 whether Elspeth was attracted to Cody. Up until she kissed him, I had no idea--and for a character whose superpower is "making herself clear," that's being pretty opaque. It's mostly because the only physical description we got of him was that he's Native American and wearing a ponytail. Nothing about whether his features were blunt or keen, his eyes lively or soft or guarded, his build broad or skinny, his hands strong or delicate -- none of the things, in summary, that girls tend to notice about boys when they're interested.

Just as another example, I don't have a picture in my mind of the werewolf camp AT ALL. We're told there are "tents" but are we talking about individual-type camping tents, or big military tents, or what? How are they handling trash--is there a big midden heap nearby? Are they burying their waste? What about recreation & social space--do they have sporting or sparring areas? Are the tents organized around a central campfire or other social space? If this is a semi-permanent enclave, knowing how the wolves are organizing the basic requirements of communal living can tell us a lot about them and their organization, and this is the kind of info that we can get a lot of just by really seeing through Elspeth's eyes as she glances around.

Again, though, the story is really enjoyable so far. The sensory descriptions would just help it be more immersive (and I think they'd be appropriate given the nature of Elspeth's powers).

I loved the first half of this story. But since Bella became a vampire, I found myself liking it less and less. But it was only with Chapter 55 that I realized why.

Bella went FOOM.

I hate it when that happens.

Maybe Elspeth will take it slower. Something more friendly, a bit more in line with the Collective Expectations of Vampiredom.

Looking forward to the sequel.

Created wiki page.

If anybody wants to contribute to my story a memory snippet (like the ones that appear in chapter 15 of Radiance), you are hereby invited to do so. Terms:

• At this point, the memory snippet could be from a vampire or a human, a witch or a non-witch, but no half-vampires and no wolves, and no appropriating characters who have names already either in canon or Luminosity.

• 1-3 paragraphs, maybe stretch this if you include one-line paragraphs. Should be something at least as interesting and flavorful as the snippets in ch. 15 (this could be staring at the wall, as long as the thoughts are nifty in some way), but I'd like to minimize the re-use of ideas (so no more botanists or chessplayers or dancers, at least not if that's what the memory is about).

• You don't have to match voice - you're not writing Elspeth, after all - but do match the story's tone; I don't want massive mood dissonance.

• I reserve the right to edit your submission to smithereens. Or steal the idea but write my own snippet with it. Or not use it at all.

• If I use your snippet (even if only for inspiration), you will be credited under the name of your choice, with an (optional) accompanying link of your choice, if I decide to use your snippet. This credit will be permanent, but plaintext (no clickable link) on the ff.net version of the story, with the URL spelled out. On my site, your input will be noted in the story text with a clickable link when the update first goes live, but I will remove it later so as not to interrupt archive-bingers; a collection of all the credits will exist persistently and will be linked to from the About page.

The end of the latest chapter manages to be even bleaker than the one before it.

I'm officially scared now.

So if I've understood correctly, a large chunk of Volturi just received an involuntary crash course in the Elspeth Method of resisting social manipulation through radical honesty, along with whatever the information was that Aro wanted not to be shared.

Meanwhile, the Volturi just turned a werewolf pack leader into an enemy.

And Aro is out of town.

This has the potential to get messy.

Chapter 13 is so, so, SO creepy. I feel like I need a shower now.

I have some thoughts on chapter 2 of Radiance. It's very interesting that Jacob's pack has a former 'kept' wolf. He should have a lot of information on the Volturi and the 'kept' packs. It's unfortunately also quite probable that he should know whether Edward was actually killed or not, and since Cody said Elspeth's parents were both killed it's safe to assume Brady either somehow doesn't have any information on that or that Edward really was killed.

I guess we'll also see if Elspeth is Jacob's imprint next chapter. Personally I'd like it if her mate was female.

The recent chapters are dark. Love it.

That's one way to keep things balanced. Give Bella a new power (minor physical shield and flame retardation) but take away her lover and best friend (incidentally the two most powerful witches she has at her disposal). Oh, and while you're at it have the enemy recruit her greatest brute-force allies to their side. Maybe have her brother in law try to kill her. Perhaps a good way to set up a "rationalists don't always win!" moral. :)

I wonder if Bella may not be able to make use of Jasper. She should have a decent chance to defeat him in combat. She should be slightly stronger than him (residual newborn strength vs carnivore) while a whole heap more strategically competent. Apart from being somewhat more dominated by bloodlust he is also barely sane and his combat advantage from witchcraft is missing. Their current injuries are comparable (torn off arm vs 'left his hand back there somewhere').

Assuming she can tear him apart she could possibly send him against the Volturi. Talk to his disembodied head and remind him that he must hate the Volturi almost as much as he hates her and that killing all of them may be as pleasurable as killing just one of her. That and remind him that he'll never be able to find her anyway.

Leave his body in a great vat of fresh blood, with his neck attached remotely to his head via strained elastic. Have his head suspended above the vat ready to be released by a call from a mobile phone. Leave him in Italy. Leave a vest loaded up with a (literal) ton of explosives, napalm and an 'on release' trigger. And a map saying 'you are here' and 'them'.

I wouldn't risk it myself. There is a chance that he will just tell them Bella is alive. He seems stupid enough to do something that will mostly hurt the rest of his adoptive family and not Bella at all.

If I actually was in Bella's shoes I'd probably just kill Jasper. Stop pretending I'm a boy scout earning pocket money and start stealing cash. Like whole ATMs, that sort of thing. Then I'd move to Italy and start preparing to kill the Volturi. Rigging all the surrounding area with explosives, creating walls of fire. Firebombs of a suitable weight and with suitable payloads that I could lob them inside said ring of fire. That sort of thing. Witchcraft is overrated. :)

I'm going to re-number the chapters in edits, so I don't advise using current chapter numbers as reference points. There might not even be 25 chapters after I'm done.

Wow. Arbitrary numbers of sub-agents.

I think this officially qualifies as the most awesome superpower ever.

My commendations, by the way, for updating even on Christmas Eve.

Can Chelsea affect imaginary relationships? What I'm getting at is: could she snip the trust that Elspeth has for her internal personification of her magic?

Two Points: 1) Your fanfic made me read the original stuff. Interestingly, for me, somehow the differences felt larger than in Eliezers fanfic, although I do realise that your fic has fewer points of departure than Eliezers. Might be because I hadn't read books from the Potter series in quite som time. A question though: I'm not far into the series, but I thought that at first, you only wanted the protagonist, Bella, to act more rational. However, the original!Bella seems to share luminous!Bellas wish to become a vampire, and, while less organized, advances the same arguments as luminous!Bella. Yet, luminous!Bella manages to convice Edward whle original!Bella doesn't. I admit that I didn't read your work as attentively as I might have read a paperback, so I might have missed the reason for that. Could you perhaps point me to it?

2) What's the reason again for Chelsea not being the leader of the Volterra coven? Her power is terrifying, and seems to be really dangerous if applied intelligently. More so than Aro's.

I thought you said things would calm down for a while after chapter 10 Alicorn?! Jasper and Edward sure went brain-fried by their mate connection. I had my eyebrows pretty high when Jasper described his impromptu battle plan, and it seems I was right to be sceptic, cause damn them vampires turn stupid when their mate is in trouble.

We're in need of some heroics here or there'll be multiple dead characters next chapter. I think Santiago will decide that only Edward and Elspeth are worth sparing out of this bunch. I doubt Bella will suddenly start owning with her witchcraft in this story though, so perhaps there's some other kind of intervention? Maybe Bella brought company. Anyway I don't see how Elspeth and co. would escape if they're brought back to Volterra again.

Chapter 7.

I'm going to assume almost the whole chapter isn't meant to be in cursive font and that you made a typo somewhere there. I'm only going to write a few thoughts I had on the chapter. First off, Bella is hella quick to come up with very possible hypotheses on what the Volturi will do, how and why. I really hope she got away this time too, or at least survived. Now, if I understood this correctly (it was really confusing to be honest), then it seems to me that Elspeth is most likely in a cell with a witch who can make those around her ignore hers and maybe others' presence. Elspeth notices this person but seemingly decides she's of no importance at all, even though she certainly should be. Her mind probably went all over the place trying to ignore the stranger killing Carlo while also trying to figure out what was happening to him. He didn't know what was happening either even though he could most probably plainly see her feasting on his neck.

If the stranger has this witchcraft, then I wonder how the Volturi are keeping her captive, and captured her in the first place. It seems unlikely that they would have someone like Bella who can shield against such mental illusions or attacks. Perhaps the guard can counteract it if he knows she's there and focuses on her all the time from when he opens the door until he closes it. If that's the case, then Elspeth may be able to help her by taking his attention off of her.

I also noticed that it took quite some time for this stranger to attack Carlo; maybe she was 'vegetarian' or a newborn who tries her best to resist. If she's newborn it's quite possible she was captured by the Volturi to be changed, or was in the process of being transformed when captured and then forgotten or assumed to have somehow escaped when her witchcraft got a power boost with her change. This may explain why they put Elspeth in a cell with a vampire, but they may also just not have cared about the safety of their prisoners. If she's newborn maybe she is too confused to escape, and isn't aware of what she can do.

Elspeth also seems unhid, or else the guard, the stranger and Carlo are all hidden (and I don't believe that for a second), so if her hypothesis that Del can't unhide her because she'd copy Elspeth's gift before she can use Pera's, then we must assume the Volturi made Pera unhide her and most likely everyone else who didn't manage to avoid capture. Unless Pera died and her witchcraft was nullified of course.

It will be very interesting to see how Elspeth manages to escape together with this stranger who may be even better at hiding than even Pera. After all, what better way to hide than being able to stare those hunting you in the face only to find them walking past you, continuing the search. I wonder how that would work with Demetri. He'd probably breach whatever the range of her witchcraft is, proceed to ignore her presence and look under every stone in the area, knowing she's there somewhere, then inevitably stumble outside her range and try to figure out what in the hell just happened. Maybe he'd tip-toe in and out and eventually find the answer to if vampire's really can go crazy (not counting Jasper).

The most similar witch I can think of at the moment (it's 04:33 here so I'm rambling) is Renata, only the stranger is more powerful if she can project over an area or other people. From what I've gathered about Renata her witchcraft simply rejects anyone with an intention to harm those under her protection; they still know the target is there, they just can't attack it. The stranger seems to make you think you don't want anything to do with her when under her spell. You don't want to sense her or think about her, and you certainly don't have any intention to interact in any way with her. It's an extremely powerful self-preservation ability that also has the potential to make her very lonely. If Edward really isn't alive, then I demand that this girl become Bella's second mate!

Hmm. That ended up being more than a few thoughts...

EDIT: After reading this, I've decided that 'the stranger' has a nice ring to it. Please please please make her be a newborn with little to no memory of her human life. :)

There's a thread about Luminosity on TV Tropes, and one person had a bundle of questions that I answered there; crossposting here in case anyone's interested.

is it possible for a vampire to become fixated on a 'mate' whose orientation does not allow the attraction to be returned? Or does the mate bond override orientation?

Unspecified in canon; in Luminosity, no, everybody winds up mated to someone of approximately the correct "type" for non-magical attraction.

What about transgendered individuals who have made no modifications to the appearance they were born with — if the process takes orientation into account, then does it work on the basis of gender identity, gender presentation, anatomy, or SRY?

Again, unspecified in canon. My ruling: If you have a person A and a person B, and they are vampire mates (or one is a vampire mated to the other, a human), then A is attracted to B's whatever-mishmash-of-sex-and-gender-characteristics and vice-versa. Once the actual magical bond kicks in (i.e. once they meet), then even departures from this mold will not affect it. For instance, a vampire who is attracted to female personalities but not female bodies would have to meet a MTF transgendered mate before significant biological intervention took place, but if they met first and then interventions happened, this would not bother the vampire.

In Luminous-canon, only male werewolves can imprint on people, and (was it only Bella's hypothesis or confirmed?) this is for reasons of passing on the werewolf gene(s) — what does that mean for gay male werewolves? Werewolves born with male anatomy but who identify as (straight and) female?

I don't have a way to confirm the hypothesis in the story (exactly how would anyone verify what the imrprinting is for?), but yes, that is what it's Officially For. Imprinting can override native homosexuality (in fact, there is a character for whom this happened; I'll go into that a bit in Radiance). It would not "override" transgenderedness in any meaningful sense (wouldn't give the physically male, mentally girly wolf a different, masculine personality), but it could make her attracted to (a) woman if she weren't already. Werewolf super-healing and wonky body chemistry would make any attempts to physically transition intractable before quitting one's wolf. Quitting the wolf doesn't end the imprint, and neither would hormones/surgery/whatever; once it's there, it's there.

Or vice versa? What about infertile or asexual male werewolves? Does the imprinting go away if the werewolf becomes infertile afterwards?

Once the imprint is there, it's there. Imprinting can override native asexuality like it can override native homosexuality. A werewolf born infertile would not imprint; one that was sterilized later would keep an existing imprint if there was one but not make a new one if there wasn't.

Can a vampire feel a attraction to a mate who is in fact an inactive werewolf? If so, can that bond survive the werewolf's activation?

Unspecified in canon; I rule yes and yes, although it'd be a difficult sort of relationship.

And after a werewolf imprints on a person, can the imprinting survive that person's being turned into a vampire later on?

Yes, but it'll traumatize the wolf rather a lot.

The sequel to Luminosity has begun. Chapter one on my site; on ff.net.

I really liked this:

"You like solving mysteries?"

"I like the nonexistence of mysteries. Mysteries mean I've missed something," I said shortly.

I don't think it's still necessary to warn about the text color. You can change it by clicking the correct part of the sidebar.

Chapter 23: "lee...ders of the supernatural world" Ha! Yeah, I'm starting to like Jake really a lot.

Aro probably has more reasons to fear what Addy could do with her knowledge of his past actions and future plans than just his killing Didyme. I hope they find Bella soon. It seems like she would be essential in physically harming Renata, unless someone can injure her from outside her shield's effect range.

Spoilers up to Chapter 21

In Chapter 18, Addy sends Elspeth to get magically tortured by Jane, on the theory that Elspeth will be able to send that memory to people as a weapon. It worked, albeit with limited potency. In Chapter 21, when this comes up, Jake, Ilario, and Maggie all agree that this was a particularly evil act.

I'd just like to point out that the morality of this decision is actually rather complicated, and that different ethical frameworks give different answers about whether it's okay or not. While being tortured was certainly bad, Elspeth did get a minor power in return. This much was foreseeable and, in fact, foreseen. Now, it is possible that at some point in the future, having this power will allow her to survive a situation she otherwise couldn't, or save someone she otherwise couldn't. This, too, is foreseeable, but uncertain. There is overlap with the deluge-of-memory power, which Elspeth acquired later, but not so much overlap that it couldn't still be useful; and acquiring the deluge-of-memory power was not necessarily foreseeable.

If having the Jane-lite power does in fact save Elspeth's life, then Addy's decision will reduce to having forced Elspeth to trade a few seconds of torture for survival later. This is a scaled-down version of the decision humans make when deciding whether to turn into vampires - a smaller amount of pain for a smaller increase in power and a smaller probability of it making the difference between life and death. Note that a supermajority of the humans presented with the option to turn have taken it (though it hasn't been unanimous).

According to a utilitarian framework, whether it was right to send Elspeth to be tortured depends on Addy's estimate of the probability that the Jane-lite power proves useful, and the relative values of survival and avoiding torture. To a utilitarian, Addy's motive (increasing her own power and maintaining social dominance over Elspeth) is irrelevant.

But according to a deontological moral framework, that doesn't matter because Addy, being neither Elspeth nor Elspeth's legal guardian, didn't have the authority to make that decision. On the other hand, there doesn't seem to be any person who actually would have that authority - Elspeth's a minor, Jake's decision-making is tainted by magic, Bella is unreachable, and the decision couldn't be put off for long enough to resolve any of these. So a slightly different deontological framework - one that required at least one person with the authority to trade torture for power to exist, and excluded Elspeth from that role - would make an exception.

Finally, when considering the virtue-ethics question of how virtuous Addy is, all that is screened off by the fact that she's a serial killer who eats humans.

But at some point, I think, we ought to have a character consider the question and acknowledge the ambiguity.

Best. Superpower. Ever.

We already knew her ability to "speak the truth" made her able to build unusually strong alliances. But this is even cooler.

Usually, when someone writes one of these "all is lost, but then by sheer force of awesomeness/will the hero overcomes it" it's pretty implausible, but I totally believe this one!

Also, it makes total sense that some of the Volturi's vampire witches would have a good amount of influence over what happens. Is this the tip of the iceberg; are we going to see more like Addy? It makes sense that if at any point Elspeth wants to change the Volturi status quo, she'd do it cooperatively, not all on her own like Bella.

Darn you, cliffhangers!

I want to know what effect Elspeth's other self will have on being Chelsea'd. If her other self can somehow propagate her love for her mother back to her, then that would take out a major chunk of the damage Chelsea can do to her. (Who else does Elspeth have a relationship with that Chelsea can nuke? Several people, Edward and the Denalis mostly; however, they aren't nearly as close to Elspeth. It would put even more of a crimp in her possible future relationship with Edward, though.)

On a side note, Chelsea's power is scary. Not just for its obvious nightmare-fuel, but for the cognitive implications. If it doesn't affect memory but still affects a person's evaluation of another's importance to them, then it must be either fundamentally changing their moral values such that even after reevaluating their memories, they do not feel that the other is important, or forcing the relationship-evaluating bit of their mind to evaluate to 'false' (or "Chelsea's chosen value", whatever) regardless of memory. But if it was the simple latter case, then a victim once they had left her immediate presence could undo most of the effect simply by reevaluating their memories and noting the things that make the other person important, which is evidently not the case. Thus, Chelsea is either fundamentally changing your sense of morality, or introducing irremovable inconsistencies into your relationship evaluation. Either way is awful.

Chapter 12 redirects to Chapter 1, though it shows up as links on the story page and Chapter 11.

You know, it would be highly amusing for Elspeth to, for some plot-convenient reason, have to try to convince a fundamentalist, say, that evolution is true. (Insert similar setup here; it doesn't have to be evolution, that's just the first thing that came to mind.) Does she work equally well trying to convince someone of a position in debate that she honestly believes is true? If so, she could be the ultimate espionage tool, albeit a necessarily oblivious one.

The "next" link at the bottom of Chapter 8 of Radiance links to Chapter 8 and not to Chapter 9.

Just wanted to comment- I really enjoy how you're portraying Elspeth's lack of experience with making decisions and how she's reacting to it. It's obvious she's been damaged by her parents, but she's reacting maturely. That matureness was somewhat shocking- it's rare that someone is the first person to think that they should grow up- but shocking in a good way. It's hard to show damage instead of just moping, and you're doing a good job of that.

Suspicion (that I hope is incorrect): Oryyn qvq trg xvyyrq guvf gvzr, naq fb Rqjneq naq Ryfcrgu jvyy unir gb fgneg bire jvgubhg Oryyn gb trg ure. Rqjneq, qevira ol eriratr, gnxrf qbja gur Ibyghev, naq nf Tvevngu fhfcrpgf Ryfcrgu orpbzrf n znwbe svther va gur arj tbireazrag.

Radiance Ch 8.

Experiments should've been performed to make sure Elspeth can carry out plans without remembering why, because Allirea believes it's very difficult and she should be assumed to know better (by both of them), and it's very important for this to work. Instead, Elspeth just "tries hard", and Allirea expects that to work, while it's apparently something that Saeed can perform only "because he has years' worth of experience being punished by Demetri every time he ignores this sort of intention". As I see it, they are both holding idiot ball in that situation, no matter how that actually worked out.

Next, Elspeth needed to "mutter lies", but it takes away some attention to invent new lies constantly, so obviously they should've checked if muttering the same lie over and over works as well.

Chapter 6.

Oh boy! So let me try crystal-balling: Bella either kills or turns Pera or is stopped before she can do fatal harm or bite. It's also possible Elspeth could suck out her venom should Pera be bit, I guess. Brady is sure to attempt steam-rolling Bella in any scenario, but Jacob should be able to halt that attempt quickly. Even if he can't or won't, Bella is very unlikely to die considering they'd have to be chill with dismembering her and then continuously lighting her on fire, all the while ignoring Elspeth fighting for her mother; something Jacob cannot do.

If Bella is somehow stopped before she can get at Pera, and is thwarted from trying to so again, then everyone except Elspeth will most likely be quite peevish with her. It's also very likely that Pera just so happens to be Bella's yummy singer. Either that or she was extremely hungry, which is also a possibility if she was stupid enough not to feed after reassembling herself. Elspeth also noted that Pera's blood smelled very good. Maybe mother and daughter have similar tastes. I imagine Bella will have some difficulties travelling with the pack should Pera be her singer, though it will do wonders for her self-control should she learn to resist her.

If Bella kills Pera, it is likely that either Bella or Brady will have to die, since Brady won't stop trying to kill her. The pack or what is left of them after this confrontation obviously lose the ability to 'hide' with Pera in this scenario; cue Volturi slaughter and slavery.

If Pera starts turning, and Elspeth either can't or is too late to suck out the venom, then they most likely lose the ability to 'hide' during Pera's transformation due to her not really being in a state to concentrate, and may also find themselves with quite a large contingent of Volturi on their heels during that time. When she wakes up she'll maybe be all kinds of more awesome than she already is, have a sudden desire to chew on all humans present, relationship issues with Brady and be a little peeved with Bella and life in general.

In both above scenarios, they're all very likely to suddenly pop up in a relatively seclusive location in the middle of NYC with a woman screaming her lungs out - or a dead woman, and a ravenous vampire doing her best to devour said woman. I'm going to bet on the latter scenario of Pera being turned vampire because Alicorn has already gone out her way to explain what would happen to a wolf-imprint relationship should the imprint be turned vampire. That and the PeraVamp and BellaVamp combo could be verrrra awesome should Bella actually learn how to use her witchcraft in any other situation than playing dead, and Pera could probably help her with that.

I'm in the market for a second beta reader for the fic. [EDIT: I have found one, but I don't object to acquiring a greater number if someone else finds the prospect appealing.] Job description:

• Be on an IM client a lot (bonus points if you keep different hours from the beta I already have)

• Receive pastes of drafts of Radiance sections as I write them (in raw HTML)

• Listen to me hammer out future plot details (including those which will actually come to fruition and therefore constitute spoilers)

• Be discreet about any fic contents or information that I haven't published yet (for some unfathomable reason, there exist people who don't like spoilers, and I don't want them harmed, so I prefer to handle spoilery inquiries personally and in private)

• Supply (via aforementioned IM client) feedback on the fic pastes and outline, in the form of comments, questions, attempts to point out plot holes, gentle critique of prose, silly jokes, &c. (Key here isn't making the fic better; I can mostly handle the quality to my satisfaction. Quantity is trickier and requires that I feel like my writing is getting attention, which is what the beta and this feedback is for.)

Interested parties can PM me or find my contact info on the fic website's About page.

Up to Radiance, Chapter 4:

"Imprint face?"

"You'll see it when you see a wolf and his imprint together. It's pretty distinctive. It's this look they get in their eyes, really focused and intense and tender. Says, you are the center of the universe and I worship the ground you walk on and your wish is my command and I will defend you with my life. It'd be corny if they weren't so sincere about it...

Did anyone else think "oxytocin!" when they read this? :-)

...

I'm trying to imagine what to expect when the two "werewolf chromosomes" are sequenced and this helps clarify those expectations a bit. The really crazy part about the chromosomes is that is seems likely that the "compatibilism genes" seem to be woven into a regulatory structure, hooking some "as-yet-uncharacterized magical physics" to "well studied biophysical systems" in ways that are obviously complex adaptations and substantially implemented in the genes themselves.

In MoR the in-story working compatibilist hypothesis is that there is a single compatibilism gene that is blindly pattern matched by a very complex magical system, which gives organisms with two copies of the compatibilism gene privileged access to a magical interface of some sort. All the regulatory elements of the magical system in MoR are, by hypothesis, fixed in some magical medium that is outside of the "atoms in motion" mechanisms that modern science is making intelligible. Casting spells accesses the interfaces. Learning the interface may ultimately be the only way it is possible to gain information about the magical medium. Building a spell casting robot without using DNA may simply be impossible.

With the vampire and wolf chromosomes (and witch genes?), there's a distinct possibility that there are things like "mind sensing proteins", "atemporallly sensitive proteins", "telekinesis proteins", "magical neurotransmitters", "clairvoyance organs", or something with physical structure and magical function that interacts by simple physical means with simple physical systems. If a werewolf chromosome was sequenced, and bacteria were used to grow werewolf proteins, I have no idea what precisely to expect, but it seems at leat 50% likely that however things turned out to work, the mechanisms could be learned and re-used so that engineers could eventually create designer proteins/organs/whatever that were more magical than existing magical proteins/organs/whatever and these could be integrated into biomechaincal(?) systems to create "supermagical tools".

Or not depending on what the microbiologists discover :-P

And then in the meantime the existence of all this complexity sort of demands an explanation as to the source. How could such chromosomes evolve? Are they artificial chromosomes? Maybe there is a whole new hidden species ("science gnomes"?) that create the artificial chromosomes which are still hidden or extinct? Or maybe theism is the only intellectually honest answer? Maybe an entity (a god/demon/ghost/author/whatever) instantiated in a purely magical medium gained access to the world by calling complex physical structure into existence ab initio, and the compatibilist mechanisms are complex because it didn't occur to the entity to produce something other than chromosomes?

Being honest and genre-aware, my sense is that the author of twilight just said "chromosomes" because she thinks of chromosomes as semi-magical entities anyway, so mentioning chromosomes just seemed to add magical plausibility for similarly minded readers rather than raising a thorny nest of scientific and philosophical issues for the smaller group of people who intuitively grok materialistic reasoning.

Hints like the oxytocin thing keep reminding me that there's a lot of physics and a lot of open questions left to be worked out in this universe!

It would be neat if Elspeth is forced to work out more rationality than her mother had, with her mother serving as inspiration and warning, and then Elspeth might stumble into some of this. This site probably has a lot of material that could be borrowed to show a plausible rationalist origin story if that's where the story is headed :-)

Should I read Luminosity if I disliked Twilight? Does it matter why I dislike Twilight? Can I read it if I never finish Twilight?

(I tried reading Twilight this week. Got halfway through it. The writing style is very workmanlike - good at describing the surroundings, and just enough other important details to move quickly from point A to point B in the plot. Descriptions of Edward are limited to monotonous repetitions of "perfect" and "beautiful", and descriptions of Bella are absent. None of the dialogue is clever. All the boys fall for Bella, who is not interesting; and her reaction (only wants what she can't have) is repellent. The central love story is unconvincing, but is a little interesting because Edward is unpredictable. So far, it is an efficient vehicle for romance-novel cliches. I may finish it, but will feel guilty if I do.)

Yay, new chapter!

Yay, Gianna and Maggie have a baby! It's kind of funny how cute those two are together, given that Maggie started off fairly horrifying. "Converting" Maggie might be Bella's greatest success (of course, she was helped a lot by the mate bond with Gianna).

I'm having to remind myself that Addy is still just as creepy and evil as she was when she was sending Elspeth to report for torture. Having her on "our" side is admittedly really useful.

Chapter 19.

Interesting.

Since it took Elspeth a day to recover, how long would it take the vampires of the guard? Half the time? Less? I've never seen a hard number for how much more mentally able a vampire is than a half-vampire.

If Addy can be convinced to join a full rebellion against the Volturi, she could be quite a powerful asset. For one thing, she can copy Chelsea and break the enforced bonds; that would certainly cause enough havoc for a while, especially if Chelsea herself can be incapacitated beforehand. For that matter, how is Chelsea at self-defense? Could Chelsea!Del affect her in the same way so as to force her to their side, without her counteracting it? Somehow I doubt it; I would be surprised if Chelsea wouldn't just undo what was done immediately.

There's no real range limit on the wolves' telepathy, right? Previously it was mentioned that a test was conducted from the reservation to somewhere unspecified in Canada without any degradation in quality; can we assume from this that Jake is still in contact with the pack? Does Chelsea work on intra-pack membership bonds (i.e. could she make Jake's pack no longer his?)

I really like the way the last few chapters have been writen - it's as if they've been writen by a different person (a snipped person). It's amazing how chilling an idyllic account can be.

Chapter 11:

Is Allirea + Eleazar thing canon? It sure doesn't seem to follow from what we've seen before, unless Eleazar lied to Bella.

Ch 9.

I wonder what a full conversation between Elspeth and Elspeth!Adelaide would look like. Indeed, what would a touch-conversation look like?

Chapter 9.

Heh. So Alice is alive too. The big question here, then, is the durability of Chelsea's influence on the witches. Will going back to Bella/Jasper and living with them as usual eventually reform the relationship bonds in question? It would be very odd if not; it would imply that Chelsea's power will permanently affect the vampire's ability to form an evaluation of the target in question, regardless of future experiences, and that's a bit more of a durable effect than is usual in this fic. If that is true, does Chelsea's power have a time limit?

Also, the wolves are still Chelsea'd to the Volturi. However, at least one imprint is free, and her wolf is quite able to split the pack in pursuit of her; I predict that a major feature of the presumable eventual plan to un-Chelsea the wolves will involve Elspeth speaking to Jacob. For that matter, what happened to the other imprints? If the Volturi have them, then that could torpedo that plan as regards all the imprinted wolves other than Jacob.

Chapter 8.

Surprise! Well, not actually surprise, given the usual dramatic cue of Bella never having found his jewelry in the ashes. Presumably, the vampire they burned there was Irina, who would have caused problems for the Volturi if they seemed to be in the way of not killing the wolves.

So in the future: Edward still has the mate bond to Bella, presumably, because it's stated somewhere (I think) that Chelsea is not powerful enough to harm that. Is Chelsea+Chelsea!Del enough? I somehow doubt it. In that case, if Edward can see Bella, then they will immediately align. So in the long term we probably don't have to worry about the psychologically-traumatised-Edward storyline, or at least he's unlikely to be killing people of it.

How does Chelsea's power work? It is stated that she killed all the relationships that the captive witches had with others; how does this affect their memories? Will Edward realise that Elspeth is his daughter? Will he if she tells him so, or shows him? Will his attachment to Bella spill over onto Elspeth and overcome the indifference-bomb? In any case, it seems to me that the best thing for Elspeth to do right now is (assuming she can get close enough) to immediately show Edward the highlights of Bella and Elspeth's life while he was captive, roughly: "Bella is alive", "I am your daughter", and "Bella wants me alive." This seems likely to get Edward out of any homicidal-vampire mode towards Elspeth, anyway. At that point, they can escape and finish the exposition later.

New chapter (7).

Will you stop ending on cliff-hangers already!

Speculation: The stranger is Pera, turned; Elspeth has been somehow kept unconscious (maybe Alec, or just repeated blows to the head) for the three days required, and Pera's power evolved enough to make Elspeth not recognize her. It's a bit of a stretch. Maybe instead the stranger is just another Volturi witch? I don't think any of the so-far-named ones have had powers that let you do that. It's a bit annoying to keep having these new powerful witches introduced just in time for their powers to be used.

Props for the writing on Elspeth's reactions to the stranger. I did a few double-takes there, wondering if I had missed something.

Am I the only one who, having not actually read Twilight, thought that the character of Eleazar was a shoutout to Eliezer?

Glad to see Luminosity continuing on (the quite insanely productive) schedule.

Speaking of insane, Pera is quite a munchkin, but yeah, wouldn't have much of a resistance anymore without something like her what with the shitstorm that was the end of episode one, ergo not much of a story.

Sounds like they should try hiding stuff overlapped with other stuff. I mean, sure, it could have explosive consequences, but hey, nothing too funny happens when it comes to interaction with the displaced air, so it's probably not too dangerous. And if it's dangerous only to the subject, it'd be insanely good for picking out Volturi.

...so I doubt that, would suspect some sort of compelentary displacement going on automatically as a safety feature - it'd be too easy otherwise. Though, could one embed a vamp into a hidden steel block? If the whole block would shift back, what would happen with a hidden pile of earth? One would suspect that for storytelling reasons it'd just fail if there was lots of solids overlapping.

Which still leaves one with the possibility to create steel enclosures where a vamp fits in, place them strategically and/or lure the subject in and tap them on the back. Should be able to keep one restrained long enough for a good flamethrower job, yes?

'course, the opposition, if in group, has the option for immediate indirect attacks covering the area, but seems to me like a relatively solid, if limited, offensive regardless.

I wish this sequel had long phase where things just flow peacefully. First chapter was fun, but I fear that things are gonna get messy after that sort ending.

Is the Chapter 57 that's up now the official ending?

Would someone be so kind as to message me what this apparent 'twist' is? I don't remember much as far back as chapter 25 and can't think of anything in particular that would be required by that circumstance that would make me overwhelmed with awe, hint or no hint. (And if spoilers were good enough for Shakespeare's prologue's then they are good enough for me!)

http://lesswrong.com/r/discussion/lw/3jt/luminosity_twilight_fanfic_discussion_thread_3/

Please use this thread going forward. (I think continuing old discussions here is fine, though.)

I don't have a child and I'm only really close with one family member, but if I had the opportunity to destroy an organization that kills hundreds of thousand of people and probably will kill a whole lot more if left unchecked, then I'd probably do my best no matter how many family members I lose, or I myself die. While fighting them I'd also be doing my best to make sure the system that will replace them will help people instead of kill them.

It's kind of like how I see today's society. We're almost all taught that success is to earn money; and that money is created out of nothing and has a value controlled by the corporations who have the most of it. Because they have so much money, they can control much of the world. Many politicians they have close ties to are funded and become a congressman or even President. They control the law and they control the industry.

They don't like people who spread this knowledge, but they're not much of a threat yet as the great majority do as they're taught and condemn them as crazy conspiracy theorists without getting any information on the topic or giving it a single thought. More of a threat are political leaders who want what is best for their people and start using the country's resources for them. They get bribed, threatened and scandalized or killed--in that order--if they're unwilling to be swayed.

Nowadays they just don't come to power. In countries where such leaders are elected by other politicians they are lumped together with the crazy conspiracy theorists. In countries where the people elect them, we get people like Aung San Suu Kyi who are isolated and ignored for 20 years while the world twirls its thumbs like they can't do anything.

I'd risk my life to change this system, which is what I believe people will eventually have to do if there is to be any change. It's the reason we have competition over resources we can make abundant with our technology; war, poverty, starvation etcetera are all results of the system, which thrives on scarcity, not abundance. That's why we use oil and diamonds for example, because they're scarce and therefore can be sold at a high price.

Chapter 22.

Addy has run off without consultation after taking Siobhan's power. That could be bad. I'm having visions of a supervillain Addy running around.

Siobhan has asked the crucial question. They now have a really dandy weapon against the Volturi, can they inject it into the collective knowledge at the right time. This, of course, assumes that no Volturi come across the knowledge beforehand, in which case the effect is not likely to be as drastic, but still interesting.

Did Marcus himself receive the memory dump? If so, I recall reading that he spent most of his time brooding, presumably over Didyme. Would this cause him to immediately look for all the information available about Didyme in the memory dump? If so, he's already found it and gone ape, off-screen. Which would be kind of disappointing, unless we get a meanwhile later on.

Chapter 22 -- Addy, Addy, Addy. What's she playing at? I suppose it's not completely impossible that she was somehow pulling off an extremely subtle bluff when she said (while she had Elspeth's power) "ask me whatever you like about my current loyalties or future intentions and you'll have answers that I think will be satisfactory," but I think it a lot more likely that she simply changed her mind as soon as she got herself Siobhan's "I WIN" power. She saw a better path toward her goals, whatever those are.

If I were her--with the goal of "being left alone to conduct my research"--I suppose I would want to lay low during the Cullen/Volturi conflict, and strike up friendly (or at least neutral) relations with the victors afterwards. Elspeth's group will be pretty lucky if that's all Addy's planning.

So next chapter we're on the hunt for Siobhan. I hope she's not a witch, but rather very good at planning. Or if she does have a gift, it's sensible and not all too powerful. I wonder what Bella is doing. Maybe she's doing some planning of her own.

I really enjoyed this chapter. Having an insight into Addy's mind was very welcome.

Will we be seeing more of it, or are we going back to our regularly scheduled Elspeth now that she is conscious? Though I guess Elspeth would also now have that insight into Addy, though it might take her a while to find/realise it... but so will much of the Volturi... interesting.

Chapter 18: And then the world went dark and silent and airless, as though I'd ceased to have a body, and I was completely alone with my thoughts.

Coup de tête? The magic takes control? Magic go FOOM?

Chapter 18.

Wait, what? Has she just been hit by Alec or Alec!Del? That's all I can think of. Why?

Is it just my imagination, or is the chapter for this Friday missing?

I particularly enjoyed this last chapter--Chelsea remains terrifying, and Addy is pretty scary too--and I'm now joining other readers in speculating about Addy's motives in all this. Maybe she (and Aro) have read enough of Chelsea's memories to know they should mistrust her, even as her power continues to work on them?

These past few chapters have been excellent. Now I'm curious about how effective a weaponized version of Elspeth's power would be against Bella. Does it penetrate Bella's shield, or does Bella need to consciously allow it through?

Two Points: 1) Your fanfic made me read the original stuff. Interestingly, for me, somehow the differences felt larger than in Eliezers fanfic, although I do realise that your fic has fewer points of departure than Eliezers. Might be because I hadn't read books from the Potter series in quite som time. A question though: I'm not far into the series, but I thought that at first, you only wanted the protagonist, Bella, to act more rational. However, the original!Bella seems to share luminous!Bellas wish to become a vampire, and, while less organized, advances the same arguments as luminous!Bella. Yet, luminous!Bella manages to convice Edward whle original!Bella doesn't. I admit that I didn't read your work as attentively as I might have read a paperback, so I might have missed the reason for that. Could you perhaps point me to it?

2) What's the reason again for Chelsea not being the leader of the Volterra coven? Her power is terrifying, and seems to be really dangerous if applied intelligently. More so than Aro's.

Two Points: 1) Your fanfic made me read the original stuff. Interestingly, for me, somehow the differences felt larger than in Eliezers fanfic, although I do realise that your fic has fewer points of departure than Eliezers. Might be because I hadn't read books from the Potter series in quite som time. A question though: I'm not far into the series, but I thought that at first, you only wanted the protagonist, Bella, to act more rational. However, the original!Bella seems to share luminous!Bellas wish to become a vampire, and, while less organized, advances the same arguments as luminous!Bella. Yet, luminous!Bella manages to convice Edward whle original!Bella doesn't. I admit that I didn't read your work as attentively as I might have read a paperback, so I might have missed the reason for that. Could you perhaps point me to it?

2) What's the reason again for Chelsea not being the leader of the Volterra coven? Her power is terrifying, and seems to be really dangerous if applied intelligently. More so than Aro's.

And here I was thinking that perchance Addy also wants immunity from Chelsea to be able to do some major restructuring, but seems unlikelier now - or at least, not any particularly good kind thereof ;] Brady, spooky.

Seems like it could help if Elspeth's ventures were to become rather ... uninteresting. Would be nice to know what's going on elsewhere, but having a static first person perspective does have some narrative limits. Anyway, hope the outside will touch on the inside at some point again.

I really hope all these horrible Volturi characters suffer immensely soon. I've said it before but for every one of these chapters it deserves to be said again: most wicked Volturi EVER!

I'm not sure I want to follow the story every update right now. I get easily upset when things are going downhill in a story, and so it's easier to read if I know things will eventually turn for the better or at least reach a conclusion. I think I'll wait a few updates and then read up on what's happened. This control the Volturi has is especially upsetting now when we have evidence of what our own governments have been doing, unbeknownst to us, and that not much is being done about it even though it's in the open now.

Chapter 11

Just ran across this comic strip. Relevance is borderline (see last panel), but I thought I'd share anyways. :)

The sequel's off to a great start! You might want to post a notification that Radiance exists (or its first chapter) at the end of Luminosity on fanfiction.net, so that people who subscribed to new chapter notifications there will see it.

A minor nitpick/question:

In what is currently chapter 12, tricks, the eyesight of Vampires was established (being able to read very tiny handwriting from across a baseball field). I imagine that to be about as visible as Jasper's scars, which are described in chapter 28 as unobtrusive, faintly raised crescents to human sight.

So what's up there? Why does Bella have to get closer to see these scars?

Or am I just drastically overestimating the size of the clearing "Tricks" takes place in (Standard Baseball field is about 300 feet long)?

I figured out who the stranger is, but I won't spoil it :P

I'm liking Luminosity! I'm even tempted to read Twilight to find out what's different.

Not a big criticism, but I have to say something regarding the passage where Bella hunts a wolf.

Some current animal populations in Washington State:

• Deer: 1,200,000
• Elk: 58,000
• Moose: 1,000
• Wolves: 3 adults, 1 juvenile, and 8-14 pups
• Humans: 6,664,195

Far more ethical to hunt a human.